C
Confused Mind
Since both types are N primary and F auxiliary, what are the specific strengths special to each type?
I'd say:
ENFP: Spontaneous, fun-loving, ideas person, whimsical sense of humor, great at relating to people face-to-face, as a leader: makes people want to follow by making things fun
INFJ: Intelligent, great at predicting things, deep, great at understanding peoples motives, as a leader: wise and fair
ENFP: Spontaneous, fun-loving, ideas person, whimsical sense of humor, great at relating to people face-to-face, as a leader: makes people want to follow by making things fun
INFJ: Intelligent, great at predicting things, deep, great at understanding peoples motives, as a leader: wise and fair
ENFP and INFJ are literal opposites. While both are N and F, and both even move from iNtuition to Feeling to Thinking to Sensing in their cognitive processes, they do each of these things in the exact opposite manner from one another.
INFJ is introverted intuition dominant. Our first step is to let our intuition ask 'why?' and seek to make a solution from the chaos that barrages us. (Downside: we don't do well with too much information or stimulus at one time)
ENFP is extroverted intuition dominant. Their first step is to let their intuition as 'what if?' and come up with as many possibilities as possible for the outside world. (Downside: they have trouble staying focused)
INFJ is extroverted feeling secondary. Our next step is to apply the insights from our intuition that do not automatically resolve as correct, and use them to help keep the world the way we feel it should be if something threatens what we see as right. (Downside: we can be unyielding and judgmental)
ENFP is introverted feeling secondary. Their next step is to apply the valid possibilities they have created to their emotions, and decide how they feel about them personally. (Downside: they can be extremely self focused)
INFJ is introverted thinking auxiliary. Our next step is to figure out how something works if we can't fit it into how we feel the world should be by tinkering and experimenting in a very focused manner. (Downside: we have a lot of trouble with things that don't relate to something concrete)
ENFP is extroverted thinking auxiliary. Their next step is to figure out how the possibilities that they have attached feeling to relate to the rest of the world, and how these possibilities can be used to further their own goals and emotions. (Downside: they have a lot of trouble being practical)
INFJ is extroverted sensing inferior. Our last step is to take inventory of the world around us empirically, to make sure what we intuit, feel, and think are correct, allowing us to be very in tune with the here and now around us. (Downside: we are prone to have a fuzzy memory for specific details)
ENFP is introverted sensing inferior. Their last step is to categorize the possibilities they have created, how they feel about them, and ways to use them in the world around them, and store them for later use at opportune times. (Downside: they are prone to miss what is right in front of them)
INFJ is introverted intuition dominant. Our first step is to let our intuition ask 'why?' and seek to make a solution from the chaos that barrages us. (Downside: we don't do well with too much information or stimulus at one time)
ENFP is extroverted intuition dominant. Their first step is to let their intuition as 'what if?' and come up with as many possibilities as possible for the outside world. (Downside: they have trouble staying focused)
INFJ is extroverted feeling secondary. Our next step is to apply the insights from our intuition that do not automatically resolve as correct, and use them to help keep the world the way we feel it should be if something threatens what we see as right. (Downside: we can be unyielding and judgmental)
ENFP is introverted feeling secondary. Their next step is to apply the valid possibilities they have created to their emotions, and decide how they feel about them personally. (Downside: they can be extremely self focused)
INFJ is introverted thinking auxiliary. Our next step is to figure out how something works if we can't fit it into how we feel the world should be by tinkering and experimenting in a very focused manner. (Downside: we have a lot of trouble with things that don't relate to something concrete)
ENFP is extroverted thinking auxiliary. Their next step is to figure out how the possibilities that they have attached feeling to relate to the rest of the world, and how these possibilities can be used to further their own goals and emotions. (Downside: they have a lot of trouble being practical)
INFJ is extroverted sensing inferior. Our last step is to take inventory of the world around us empirically, to make sure what we intuit, feel, and think are correct, allowing us to be very in tune with the here and now around us. (Downside: we are prone to have a fuzzy memory for specific details)
ENFP is introverted sensing inferior. Their last step is to categorize the possibilities they have created, how they feel about them, and ways to use them in the world around them, and store them for later use at opportune times. (Downside: they are prone to miss what is right in front of them)
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When INFJs and ENFPs interact, there is often a mutual curiosity and admiration. However, once the two types get to know one another, their exact opposite approach to cognitive function tends to rapidly turn into a constant case of "you're doing it wrong".
INFJs have a great deal of trouble with the ENFPs barrage of emotional expression, lack of focus, and insistance on selfish behavior by talking over everyone with an obnoxious barrage of superfluous unrelated tangents, willing to make everyone else miserable if they don't get their own way.
ENFPs have a great deal of trouble with the INFJs stoic judgmentalness, lack of acceptance, and constant ability to make them feel unappreciated by knowing exactly what to say or do to take all of the value out of what they are doing, like a sniper constantly waiting for the perfect shot.
Normally, it won't take long for the INFJ and ENFP personalities to realize they work best if they keep their distance from one another.
If the contentiousness gets very strong between these two types due to being 'forced' to interact because of mutual friends or family, the ENFP will use their social circles and social events to convince everyone they care about to ostracize the INFJ by making the INFJ appear to be a villain for all their baseless and hurtful attacks. The INFJ will take great offense at any accusations of wrong doing when attempting to correct bad behavior for the benefit of everyone else, and will quickly vilify not only the ENFP, but everyone that took their side in the conflict for not being willing to stand up for what is right. The injustice of this action is as hurtful to the INFJ as their attempts at correction were to the ENFP. Neither type will be very willing to forgive and forget because the wounds they can inflict on one another hit such critical areas, and appeared so deliberate. The end result will be a polarization of the groups that tied the INFJ and ENFP together. Friendships and even marriages have ended over the classic feud between INFJs and ENFPs inability to accept each other's strengths as benefits rather than hindrances.
INFJs have a great deal of trouble with the ENFPs barrage of emotional expression, lack of focus, and insistance on selfish behavior by talking over everyone with an obnoxious barrage of superfluous unrelated tangents, willing to make everyone else miserable if they don't get their own way.
ENFPs have a great deal of trouble with the INFJs stoic judgmentalness, lack of acceptance, and constant ability to make them feel unappreciated by knowing exactly what to say or do to take all of the value out of what they are doing, like a sniper constantly waiting for the perfect shot.
Normally, it won't take long for the INFJ and ENFP personalities to realize they work best if they keep their distance from one another.
If the contentiousness gets very strong between these two types due to being 'forced' to interact because of mutual friends or family, the ENFP will use their social circles and social events to convince everyone they care about to ostracize the INFJ by making the INFJ appear to be a villain for all their baseless and hurtful attacks. The INFJ will take great offense at any accusations of wrong doing when attempting to correct bad behavior for the benefit of everyone else, and will quickly vilify not only the ENFP, but everyone that took their side in the conflict for not being willing to stand up for what is right. The injustice of this action is as hurtful to the INFJ as their attempts at correction were to the ENFP. Neither type will be very willing to forgive and forget because the wounds they can inflict on one another hit such critical areas, and appeared so deliberate. The end result will be a polarization of the groups that tied the INFJ and ENFP together. Friendships and even marriages have ended over the classic feud between INFJs and ENFPs inability to accept each other's strengths as benefits rather than hindrances.
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Ouch...
Although, Von, I know what you're saying...but I think if they're both mature and willing to accept each other's differences they can handle the extremes. My last "boss" (we were sort of co-supervisors, but he was the head honcho and I was the second head honcho) and I were residence hall directors. (Note: if anyone is an introvert? I highly recommend NOT becoming a hall director). But we lived where we worked and we had to work together to keep the hall as a well-run machine. Oh, we definitely had the run-ins you talked about, Von. He was a magnificent presence there and I felt constantly on my guard. When we worked together I often thought he was being too easy on the residence assistants, and he thought I was out to get some of them (WTF??) but we were never mean about it. We talked a *lot.*
I think I opened his eyes to my world, and I started understanding his and we learned to communicate differently to get the jobs done. But no, it's not easy. ENFPs tend to take over everything they're a part of, and when you have to lead as an INFJ you have to be careful. It's funny, though; whenever there was a crisis and an RA f***'d up, they'd run to me first and I'd talk to them about it. But if they wanted something done on a major scale, they went to him.
I was weaker when it came to group activities but stronger (and kinder) one-on-one.
Hmm...I sorta miss those crazies again.
Although, Von, I know what you're saying...but I think if they're both mature and willing to accept each other's differences they can handle the extremes. My last "boss" (we were sort of co-supervisors, but he was the head honcho and I was the second head honcho) and I were residence hall directors. (Note: if anyone is an introvert? I highly recommend NOT becoming a hall director). But we lived where we worked and we had to work together to keep the hall as a well-run machine. Oh, we definitely had the run-ins you talked about, Von. He was a magnificent presence there and I felt constantly on my guard. When we worked together I often thought he was being too easy on the residence assistants, and he thought I was out to get some of them (WTF??) but we were never mean about it. We talked a *lot.*
I think I opened his eyes to my world, and I started understanding his and we learned to communicate differently to get the jobs done. But no, it's not easy. ENFPs tend to take over everything they're a part of, and when you have to lead as an INFJ you have to be careful. It's funny, though; whenever there was a crisis and an RA f***'d up, they'd run to me first and I'd talk to them about it. But if they wanted something done on a major scale, they went to him.
I was weaker when it came to group activities but stronger (and kinder) one-on-one.
Hmm...I sorta miss those crazies again.
In most of my interactions with ENFPs, we learned to accept one another through keeping a safe distance emotionally. They can be quite fun, and can make great acquaintances to INFJs.
What I described above is the worst case scenario to be wary of because it is likely to happen when INFJs and ENFPs are not aware that it can, and do not take precautions. If you are an INFJ, and you see the pattern escalating as mentioned, use the information to help you turn the issue around. Under natural circumstances, it won't right itself without concerted intervetion and effort on your part.
You are correct though, if both the INFJ and ENFP can accept their differences as strengths, they actually make a great compliment to one another.
Edit: Also note that the degree of friction between an INFJ and ENFP is going to be in direct proportion to the strength of their respective Fe and Fi. If Fe and Fi are both well contained by Ni and Ne, this conflict will be infrequent.
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It seems a lot of people seem to think we (INFJ's) go for someone if we punish them.
I think thats because we have such strong moral standings. And we don't let people slide.
Oh and very interesting thread.
me and my boyfriend
I am an INFJ and my boyfriend is an ENFP. Yes, there are times when I am not mature and can't control my barrage of righteousness and go beserk on him; usually he did something that I didn't like at all. And other times I let myself fall under his optimism and support to lift me out of my dark moods. We have come to a compromise on how to compromise on our characteristics. We decided that both of us will make an effort to be the bigger person on certain situations that call for it. He has actually done a better job at it than me; usually when I m down in the dumps and angry at him or something he tries to let it go and not instigat it. Other times; usually when he is overexcited with emotion or anger; I become the calm one and help him relax. It is an interesting and exhausting part of our relationship
but all other things are great in our relationship. I can always get from him what I can't make or get for myself...opposites do attract....
I am an INFJ and my boyfriend is an ENFP. Yes, there are times when I am not mature and can't control my barrage of righteousness and go beserk on him; usually he did something that I didn't like at all. And other times I let myself fall under his optimism and support to lift me out of my dark moods. We have come to a compromise on how to compromise on our characteristics. We decided that both of us will make an effort to be the bigger person on certain situations that call for it. He has actually done a better job at it than me; usually when I m down in the dumps and angry at him or something he tries to let it go and not instigat it. Other times; usually when he is overexcited with emotion or anger; I become the calm one and help him relax. It is an interesting and exhausting part of our relationship
but all other things are great in our relationship. I can always get from him what I can't make or get for myself...opposites do attract....I'm an INFJ in love with an ENFP. We get along great except on certain issues I just can't seem to let go of. I'm fairly well off financially, and he isn't right now, yet for me to "pay for a man's expenses" just seems like the ultimate in human injustice. It isn't right, it gauls me, makes me feel used, and on and on it goes. It actually repulses me!
He is SO good at making me smile though! He's so good at pulling me out of my analysis moods. And boy is he good in bed! My sex life up until now has been so incredibly dull. But as an ENFP he is spontaneous, creative, exciting, intense...you name it. And because INFJ's have a chameleon quality to them..he makes me this way as well.
The biggest problem I have is I can't quite let go of my heart because my analytical side is always wondering if he's just after me for the money... And he truly can not understand why I would think that. In his mind, he's building his business and soon enough he'll be paying.
In his mind we're a team and it just happens to be my turn to pay for most everything.
My mind can't accept that though and constantly screams "Something isn't right in Denmark!" (aka you can't really trust this guy!)
He is SO good at making me smile though! He's so good at pulling me out of my analysis moods. And boy is he good in bed! My sex life up until now has been so incredibly dull. But as an ENFP he is spontaneous, creative, exciting, intense...you name it. And because INFJ's have a chameleon quality to them..he makes me this way as well.
The biggest problem I have is I can't quite let go of my heart because my analytical side is always wondering if he's just after me for the money... And he truly can not understand why I would think that. In his mind, he's building his business and soon enough he'll be paying.
In his mind we're a team and it just happens to be my turn to pay for most everything.
My mind can't accept that though and constantly screams "Something isn't right in Denmark!" (aka you can't really trust this guy!)
I have no problems with 99% of INFJs I have dealt with.
Actually I see them as very similar types. I think the functional order may be a big part of that, and of course the E/I in the functions are mirrored. This tends to allow them to see similar things in slightly different ways and I think it complements each other nicely.
I fully agree with Goatman, I have no problems with 99 % of INFJs. I love INFJs but then again it might not always be mutual xD
I almost always get along nicely with ENFPs; I have many as close friends. It only urks me when they pretend to understand concepts I'm talking about when they obviously do not; of course not all the time but sometimes. Which reminds me of how the INTP responds to not understanding what I'm saying... by saying I'm crazy and I do not know what I'm talking about. It's all fun and games I think, good times all round especially the heated arguments.
But yeah normally it's pretty loving between me and ENFPs.
Also worthy note to ENFPs, two ENFPs taught me more about love and compassion than anyone else in my life.
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I'm a lover of excitement and optimism in others, so I often look up to ENFPs. There are some that confuse me and make me wary, but for the most part, I understand them well and often times can take on their attitudes very easily.
A good ENFP friend can be like a smile through the dark.
A good ENFP friend can be like a smile through the dark.
Oh. So I don't have to make a special thread - I got many of my questions answered here.
Yeah, I'm interested in combinations that work, not in essentially tragic ones. And I was in doubt about INFJ+ENFP, because I've also seen many such tandems ending up bad (opposed to other INFJ+ENFP who seem to be invincible and capable of almost anything).
So for now I think, like some of the people posted, that it's important to keep emotional distance, separation of work. Each of these types will not be able to repeat what the other type is best at: hence, don't push it. But they can learn and improve (at least), if they acknowledge how different they are. Ideally, they should never compete and compare - that would bring dark clouds upon them. Obviously, there are some specific talents in each, quite opposite in directions, and so competing in any area will always be of great advantage to one of them. The good approach is to divide areas according to strengths, like in a working team, and just appreciate your partner's abilities. In most cases, this would mean that one person sits aside, watching the other doing the whole job alone (and admiring the natural ease they have about it). Here's where a great mutual understanding is needed - to learn to never feel used, or obsolete. With the variety of life's challenges unravelling, it will become clear that each side has their own share to offer on the table (maybe even indirectly).
From my experience, after enough time, there appears some kind of love, quiet and without much talking about it, that is always there. Series of hard days may go without enough expression of it, almost as if the two are living separate lives, and then suddenly the sparks come - and be sure those are not like any other sparks. It's the crisis moments that make it so full of strong emotions, because usually then one side is the savior for the other, helpless one. And the roles are changing, depending on the situation. This is not a strong-weak type of relationship, it proves to be equalizing. The more they save each other, the more they feel connected, and full of gratitude and confidence.
Yeah, I'm interested in combinations that work, not in essentially tragic ones. And I was in doubt about INFJ+ENFP, because I've also seen many such tandems ending up bad (opposed to other INFJ+ENFP who seem to be invincible and capable of almost anything).
So for now I think, like some of the people posted, that it's important to keep emotional distance, separation of work. Each of these types will not be able to repeat what the other type is best at: hence, don't push it. But they can learn and improve (at least), if they acknowledge how different they are. Ideally, they should never compete and compare - that would bring dark clouds upon them. Obviously, there are some specific talents in each, quite opposite in directions, and so competing in any area will always be of great advantage to one of them. The good approach is to divide areas according to strengths, like in a working team, and just appreciate your partner's abilities. In most cases, this would mean that one person sits aside, watching the other doing the whole job alone (and admiring the natural ease they have about it). Here's where a great mutual understanding is needed - to learn to never feel used, or obsolete. With the variety of life's challenges unravelling, it will become clear that each side has their own share to offer on the table (maybe even indirectly).
From my experience, after enough time, there appears some kind of love, quiet and without much talking about it, that is always there. Series of hard days may go without enough expression of it, almost as if the two are living separate lives, and then suddenly the sparks come - and be sure those are not like any other sparks. It's the crisis moments that make it so full of strong emotions, because usually then one side is the savior for the other, helpless one. And the roles are changing, depending on the situation. This is not a strong-weak type of relationship, it proves to be equalizing. The more they save each other, the more they feel connected, and full of gratitude and confidence.
My relationships with INFJS were pretty special ed so far, then again the basic problem with those relationships had nothing to do with type. The types in my op can be great together, if both are mature.
:mp:
I think that monkey looks possessed.
:mp:
I think that monkey looks possessed.
one of my best friends I think is ENFP
it is firework. Sometimes we connect and are very loving and caring for each other. But most of the times we can not understand or appreciate each other differences and we burn each other down. I can't provide her the attention, joy and social company she wants, and she can't give me stability, deepness and peace.
When I make decisions I need to consider my inside intuition to find the answer, when I do something I have to do it from the bottom of my heart. And that takes time and I can't do it when she is hopping around, chatting, singing, asking for my attention about every single silly stupid thing that plops up out of hear mouth. It is exhausting!!! Before I know it I'm hopping around with her and than everything I do becomes meaningless to me, I loose my base and become very sad. And also guilty because I can't give her what she asks from me. And I have tried to explain it to her and she tries to understand but she doesn't really get it...
It is hard to be her friend but I can't give her up :becky:
it is firework. Sometimes we connect and are very loving and caring for each other. But most of the times we can not understand or appreciate each other differences and we burn each other down. I can't provide her the attention, joy and social company she wants, and she can't give me stability, deepness and peace.
When I make decisions I need to consider my inside intuition to find the answer, when I do something I have to do it from the bottom of my heart. And that takes time and I can't do it when she is hopping around, chatting, singing, asking for my attention about every single silly stupid thing that plops up out of hear mouth. It is exhausting!!! Before I know it I'm hopping around with her and than everything I do becomes meaningless to me, I loose my base and become very sad. And also guilty because I can't give her what she asks from me. And I have tried to explain it to her and she tries to understand but she doesn't really get it...
It is hard to be her friend but I can't give her up :becky:
- Nov 12, 2008
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ENFP's are attracted to me like flies. I know so many of them. One of them is one of my best friends.
ENFP's can be wonderful people, but I have had to push many of them away. If an ENFP is undeveloped they tend to be very selfish, needy, extremely tempermental, and are "never wrong" (godforbid you tell them that).
One of the things I love about ENFP's is that they help me break out of my shell, while still regarding that I have reservations about some things, and won't push me into those things unless I could handle it ok. There is friction at times (due to my low Ne and high Si), but it works out well.
ENFP's can be wonderful people, but I have had to push many of them away. If an ENFP is undeveloped they tend to be very selfish, needy, extremely tempermental, and are "never wrong" (godforbid you tell them that).
One of the things I love about ENFP's is that they help me break out of my shell, while still regarding that I have reservations about some things, and won't push me into those things unless I could handle it ok. There is friction at times (due to my low Ne and high Si), but it works out well.
I think my roommate is enfp, were attending a christian college. safe to say we clash.
I want him to live up to the standards he has accepted, and he thinks that I believe i'm perfect.
currently try to resolve this conflict, outside of that we get along fine
I want him to live up to the standards he has accepted, and he thinks that I believe i'm perfect.
currently try to resolve this conflict, outside of that we get along fine