INFJ versus ISFJ
- Thread starter Metanoia
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Yep, I was typed as an INTJ for the longest time. To the outer world I would fit that description growing up. The thing is, when it comes to my personal relationships, I drop my Ti use and focus primarily on Fe.
You don't even really get to interact with me as a true person until you become a good friend of mine or are dating me. To most of the world, I am an analytical person with good insight.
I totally relate to what your saying.
I was typed INTJ as well, how ever it took me half a year to realize i was a INFJ.
I test out as INFJ probably 4 times out of 5, but it does seem like on days where I'm particularly questioning (my life, my self, the world, etc) and feel more motivated to take tests, I can swing either to INTJ or ISFJ. It's kinda weird... and rare, but it has happened.
Oddly, I think my mother is an INFJ too. And then my father's new wife is probably an ISFJ.
The reason I think my mother is an N, though, is that I know 2 ISFJ's, and they lack confidence. They could never really be put into management situations. My mother also tried starting businesses a couple of times and that flopped, which suggests she's fixating on an Ni ideal and trying to see it realized. The ISFJ's I know would never start a business, and they're much more grounded in facts than my mother is.
One of the main reasons I had difficulty accepting that I was an INFJ, is that my mother is one too and we are so different. The difference is in our use of Ti, I believe. My mother seems to use Se really well, Fe better than me, and then her Ni is probably weaker than mine. This would make you think that maybe she's an extrovert, an ENFJ maybe. Well, my sister (her daughter) is an ENFJ and she's the odd little duckling between the three of us. My mom really doesn't have normal friends like my sister does. This is similar to me; I hardly ever see my friends.
The INFJ personality is highly diverse and full of quirks is what I am starting to understand. I also believe this is why we are the rarest type, simply because an INFJ would very easily be mistyped as another type due to our diverse nature. Whatever Ni decides is reality, (which is very often not based on reality) becomes who we are completely. Our worldview is something we use to transform ourselves into what we should be, most people would consider that being something you're not... but for us, it's the only way we can live a genuine existence.
The reason I think my mother is an N, though, is that I know 2 ISFJ's, and they lack confidence. They could never really be put into management situations. My mother also tried starting businesses a couple of times and that flopped, which suggests she's fixating on an Ni ideal and trying to see it realized. The ISFJ's I know would never start a business, and they're much more grounded in facts than my mother is.
One of the main reasons I had difficulty accepting that I was an INFJ, is that my mother is one too and we are so different. The difference is in our use of Ti, I believe. My mother seems to use Se really well, Fe better than me, and then her Ni is probably weaker than mine. This would make you think that maybe she's an extrovert, an ENFJ maybe. Well, my sister (her daughter) is an ENFJ and she's the odd little duckling between the three of us. My mom really doesn't have normal friends like my sister does. This is similar to me; I hardly ever see my friends.
The INFJ personality is highly diverse and full of quirks is what I am starting to understand. I also believe this is why we are the rarest type, simply because an INFJ would very easily be mistyped as another type due to our diverse nature. Whatever Ni decides is reality, (which is very often not based on reality) becomes who we are completely. Our worldview is something we use to transform ourselves into what we should be, most people would consider that being something you're not... but for us, it's the only way we can live a genuine existence.
- Aug 9, 2009
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I don't know. I'm not saying I am always confident, but more susceptible to it, maybe?
Ni lets you just know things, and secondarily we have Fe to deal with people. Ni is rather confident by how it works and Fe can exude this, or whatever you want your Fe to exude.
Heh, this reminds me of how I think my Mom is ISFJ, since her memory and ability to notice when something has changed is off the charts. She knows my medical history in extreme detail and notices things that I just don't and never can. She never forgets what I owe her and what state someone's account is in, or what tax/forms/etc they need to be doing and by when. She claims she has a bad memory but thats maybe no more than short-term junk like a grocery list. When she tested she only came out as 22% N, and I likely think she's mistyping herself out of want to be more N, like how a lot of S's mistype as N. The only thing that was really solid was her J, and hell, even her I came out in the 20s, as was her F. Which is why I think mistype, since F's tend to want to type as T's or at least think everything they think is pure logic only because their society values one and calls the other being a flighty little flake XD. (If her F can come out low even though she obviously is, then that lends more credence to a N/S mistype, I mean)
All of her senses are extremely acute. She notices every tiny wiff of a smell and goes insane long before anyone else can smell it. She hears everything, and if her eyesight weren't so bad I bet she could spot a speck of dust on the moon. While I never notice a mess till someone points it out, she notices a mess almost before it happens. Speaking of medical stuff again, she notices when I'm having an allergic reaction before I noticed that I feel itchy or sick, or realized what it meant.
If shes in her own head, its always means shes mad or stressed and is about to kill us all. When I'm in my head, its just my normal state. She has never understood my spacing out and how I can not notice when people call for me when I am focused on something.
Also, she can't let the past go, and tends to only really talk about future possibilities when someone else talks about it first. She needs inspiration of others (me, my Dad, someone she works with) to really pull out of right now or the past and into the future.
She likes to do things out of a feeling of obligation, even when the person she's doing it for is really only being enabled by it. She can't even talk herself out of doing so until years later either. However, she then plays victim and talks endlessly about how she's nothing and nobody to everybody. Even to the point of saying everyone around her is horrible to the extent of even being predudiced to certain groups of people in a totally american-south kind of way.
Next, she can't get into the computer use in any real form thing at all. She uses email and checks the weather and thats it. The most she's gotten into games or anything is this one casual site (that cheated) where you could earn real money. She was on that for 5 months, realized it was cheating and hasn't played anything since. She can't see the appeal. She never listens to music, and only reads magazines, though gardening and homelife ones, nothing stupid like Cosmo. She watches tv everyday and HAS to see the news, no matter what. If you don't change to the news she will get panicky and angry.
(Also, she once went onto a forum and spent several days after bitchy about how it wasn't as quality as she thought it would be. Like how she was expecting grand answers and was seeing people making one sentence posts, and thought the whole point of a forum was thus meaningless. She got very nasty talking about it too, full of hate and venom for the people on it.)
Lastly, she has no skill in humour (always seeming to think simply saying the same thing in a funny voice she says every time she wants to be "funny" as funny. Si loves to keep doing the same thing.) Also, she almost never gets me and my Dad's humour, even after years living with us.
All of her senses are extremely acute. She notices every tiny wiff of a smell and goes insane long before anyone else can smell it. She hears everything, and if her eyesight weren't so bad I bet she could spot a speck of dust on the moon. While I never notice a mess till someone points it out, she notices a mess almost before it happens. Speaking of medical stuff again, she notices when I'm having an allergic reaction before I noticed that I feel itchy or sick, or realized what it meant.
If shes in her own head, its always means shes mad or stressed and is about to kill us all. When I'm in my head, its just my normal state. She has never understood my spacing out and how I can not notice when people call for me when I am focused on something.
Also, she can't let the past go, and tends to only really talk about future possibilities when someone else talks about it first. She needs inspiration of others (me, my Dad, someone she works with) to really pull out of right now or the past and into the future.
She likes to do things out of a feeling of obligation, even when the person she's doing it for is really only being enabled by it. She can't even talk herself out of doing so until years later either. However, she then plays victim and talks endlessly about how she's nothing and nobody to everybody. Even to the point of saying everyone around her is horrible to the extent of even being predudiced to certain groups of people in a totally american-south kind of way.
Next, she can't get into the computer use in any real form thing at all. She uses email and checks the weather and thats it. The most she's gotten into games or anything is this one casual site (that cheated) where you could earn real money. She was on that for 5 months, realized it was cheating and hasn't played anything since. She can't see the appeal. She never listens to music, and only reads magazines, though gardening and homelife ones, nothing stupid like Cosmo. She watches tv everyday and HAS to see the news, no matter what. If you don't change to the news she will get panicky and angry.
(Also, she once went onto a forum and spent several days after bitchy about how it wasn't as quality as she thought it would be. Like how she was expecting grand answers and was seeing people making one sentence posts, and thought the whole point of a forum was thus meaningless. She got very nasty talking about it too, full of hate and venom for the people on it.)
Lastly, she has no skill in humour (always seeming to think simply saying the same thing in a funny voice she says every time she wants to be "funny" as funny. Si loves to keep doing the same thing.) Also, she almost never gets me and my Dad's humour, even after years living with us.
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Oh just general information about ISFJ's, from what I've seen they generally have no business taking a personality test alone because they may need assistance with the questions.
When I tried to get my friend to take the test, he had trouble with every question. You see, their Si is strong so they can find an instance in their life that fits the question either way. "Are you outgoing or do you keep to yourself?" He misses the point that this question was asked in totality, and would say to me, "If I am around family or friends, I am very outgoing."
Every friggen question he had to consult me to find what he was supposed to answer, but maybe my friend is just like that.
When I tried to get my friend to take the test, he had trouble with every question. You see, their Si is strong so they can find an instance in their life that fits the question either way. "Are you outgoing or do you keep to yourself?" He misses the point that this question was asked in totality, and would say to me, "If I am around family or friends, I am very outgoing."
Every friggen question he had to consult me to find what he was supposed to answer, but maybe my friend is just like that.
My ISFJ (Si>Fe>Te>Fi>Ne>Ni>Se>Ti) sister was the same way.
Edit: that was to post 71. Only very rarely has she paid any attention to the News.
Edit: that was to post 71. Only very rarely has she paid any attention to the News.
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Wow for a bit I thought I was an isfj, since sometimes my past can influence my future. But reading these rl descriptions of ISFJs? HECK NO. Teehee. infj all the way XD I hate people so down to Earth that they can't comprehend more. Drives me totally bonkers.
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