In what world (besides these MBTI forums) are INFJs so loved?

sedna

sedna

Community Member
MBTI
infj
Hi people. I'm new on this forum and I'm an INFJ...

Anyway, I read this forum, I read the INTP & typology forums, and I'm struck by how popular and loved INFJs seem to be.

Um...I don't get this adoration in real life at all. I spend much of my time alone, and when I do make attempts to connect, I'm a disaster. Even on online forums. In fact, I fully expect all of you to hate me soon. Just give me some time...

Anyway, these forums seem to exist in some alternate world that has nothing to do with the real world and real life situations. At least for me. I'm wondering if I'm the only INFJ to encounter this.

Also, I wonder how much of this has to do with enneagram type. I'm a 4 with a 5 wing...and like INTP/5s, I can be pretty abrasive, especially when I experience absurd situations or others try to put limitations on my natural self-expression. I'm pretty split between INFJ4 and INTP5.
 
Oh, I highly doubt we will hate you! You have to do some cruddy things for us to hate you. And even then you get plenty of warning. Don't label yourself like that! I'm sure you will be well liked here :)

I'm not entirely sure why INFJ's are liked so much. I think it could be a combination of having a reputation of being deep, sensitive, but also real, and maybe cause our type is rare. I have noticed (more so for NT's anyway) that there is more of a sense of facination with us.
 
I think the online assumptions and reactions to INFJs are rather mixed. I think a lot of people are quite put-off by it online. There is a kind of funny INFJ-INTP pairing thing that comes up in threads more often than should occur randomly. I'm not sure what to think of it exactly. My ex and current partner were both INTPs. I've also noticed that some people switch between those two types - especially guys I think for some reason. I've also wondered if sometimes the ISFJ is mistaken for INFJ in those contexts because there is a more compelling relationship between INTP-ISFJ. They have the exact same cognitive function pairs (INTP=TiNeSiFe ISFJ=SiFeTiNe)

One of my first encounters online was someone raking me over the coals for being INFJ and they went into detail about how horrible the type is and a few more chimed in about their evil INFJ ex's. Maybe because of things like that, I've never been entirely convinced the type was that well liked. I took my INFJ designation off for quite a while because it seemed to cause too much negative hassle in communication.
 
I think a lot of it is the idea of the INFJ. INFJs can have some pretty fricken excellent personal qualities including depth, sensitivity to others, forsight and an ability to talk about abstract topics which may appeal to some people, especially NTs. The only reason I suppose why INFJs dont hit it off with NTs so often in real life is the sensitivity and reserve which some INFJ's (particularly those who lean more towards being enneagram 4s) which blocks communication and hinders the types from connecting on an emotional or intellectual level.

I find that personally I generally wont share my vast quantity of knowledge or ideas unless someone brings them up, then I can get rather impassioned and excited about my ideas. For the reason I suppose that I've tried to bring these kinds of things to various people and nobody would listen or care.

Whoops! I'm rambling.
 
Last edited:
I'm new to online forums as well, and feel the same ambivalent way about the INFJ adoration and making attempts to connect with people.

Despite my mixed feelings, I stay with the forums.
 
I'm off putting to a lot of people, and I'm right there with you. All the way. :)
 
I feel you. I've been wondering the very same thing for quite a while, actually.
sedna said:
Hi people. I'm new on this forum and I'm an INFJ...

Anyway, I read this forum, I read the INTP & typology forums, and I'm struck by how popular and loved INFJs seem to be.

Um...I don't get this adoration in real life at all. I spend much of my time alone, and when I do make attempts to connect, I'm a disaster. Even on online forums. In fact, I fully expect all of you to hate me soon. Just give me some time...

Anyway, these forums seem to exist in some alternate world that has nothing to do with the real world and real life situations. At least for me. I'm wondering if I'm the only INFJ to encounter this.

Also, I wonder how much of this has to do with enneagram type. I'm a 4 with a 5 wing...and like INTP/5s, I can be pretty abrasive, especially when I experience absurd situations or others try to put limitations on my natural self-expression. I'm pretty split between INFJ4 and INTP5.
Click to expand...
 
Likeminded people can communicate easily.
 
I don't believe, that being "popular and loved" is determined by your MBTI type. You can be either miserable or happy - the choice is yours. There are a million of ways to do it.

A lot of stress in life can be generated by misusing or even suppressing your natural abilities. That's where this forum can come in handy - learning things about yourself.
 
Tamagochi said:
I don't believe, that being "popular and loved" is determined by your MBTI type. You can be either miserable or happy - the choice is yours. There are a million of ways to do it.

A lot of stress in life can be generated by misusing or even suppressing your natural abilities. That's where this forum can come in handy - learning things about yourself.
Click to expand...

Ahh the humanistic approach, thinking that we can simply choose how we feel.

I believe that likeminded people connect as well and I think that Infj's are loved in a people-friendly environment. :grouphug:

In the real world the difference is that people don't really group and interact by their mbti types.
 
Last edited:
Pristinegirl said:
Ahh the humanistic approach, thinking that we can simply choose how we feel.
Click to expand...

I didn't mean it that way. There are a lot of situations where we cannot control what we feel. One of the prominent examples of course is romantic love.

But then again we do have some control on what we think, how we react to situations, how we are perceived by other people. And the first step towards gaining control of your life is awareness.
 
Probably a world full of innocents. I guess that's why we make good nursery teachers. It's easy to connect on a soul level with infants, and they will generally pick up on our good hearts, so I think we can be well liked in that setting.

Where else... hmmm. A cove full of dolphins, maybe?

...or if we wore Mickey Mouse outifts and walked around disneyland? I'd imagine we'd be loved then.

...Maybe we can wear signs that say 'Good person just below the surface'. or maybe just 'free hugs'. :D

...any place where peace and calm are important - some libraries, monasteries or convents, healing sanctuaries etc.

Where have you felt happiest and most loved? Maybe that would be a good starting point.
 
sedna said:
Also, I wonder how much of this has to do with enneagram type. I'm a 4 with a 5 wing...and like INTP/5s, I can be pretty abrasive, especially when I experience absurd situations or others try to put limitations on my natural self-expression. I'm pretty split between INFJ4 and INTP5.
Click to expand...

not to worry! i myself am an INFJ and enneagram 5w4 so i do understand to a degree the split you seem to experience. i don't believe i'm as emotionally open as some other INFJs and i do react strongly whenever my personal space has been intruded.
 
Tamagochi said:
I didn't mean it that way. There are a lot of situations where we cannot control what we feel. One of the prominent examples of course is romantic love.

But then again we do have some control on what we think, how we react to situations, how we are perceived by other people. And the first step towards gaining control of your life is awareness.
Click to expand...

You are right but be aware that as thought triggers emotion, emotion triggers thought too. It goes both ways. Haha I'm sorry for assuming that you took on the approach 'people who are depressed want to be depressed' xD
 
Thanks for the response all. I will say...I've had a lot of time on this earth to find some kind of ease with people. I do try hard, but it seems the stuff I'm passionate about, my self-expression, the way I carry myself, is so objectionable to others it creates a distance that's difficult for me to resolve. Once I feel someone has hurt me, I disconnect. It
 
rainrise said:
not to worry! i myself am an INFJ and enneagram 5w4 so i do understand to a degree the split you seem to experience. i don't believe i'm as emotionally open as some other INFJs and i do react strongly whenever my personal space has been intruded.
Click to expand...

Most of the time I test 4/5, but occassionally I test as 5/4. I'm way too emotional to be a 5/4. Sometimes I think I've dismissed it as a type simply becuase I'm female and it seems too cold to me, but when I read enneagram profiles, 5/4 fits just as much as 4/5 profiles. I've just accepted that I'm a combination of the two.
 
sedna said:
Anyway, I read this forum, I read the INTP & typology forums, and I'm struck by how popular and loved INFJs seem to be.
Click to expand...
You've already answered your own question. You're reading forums about MBTI types, one of which is about the type, and the other is about another type that is also pretty rare and can empathise better with INFJs than the vast majority. And any forum about MBTI types will have a larger than average amount of people who have a conscious awareness of the INFJ "hidden gifts" so they're going to be more popular there as well.
 
I'm actually far from loved on most MBTI forums. I have a reputation for being hot headed and single minded. Frankly I'm getting to the point in my life where I could give a shit what people think of me. Most of my social problems in my life have been the result of hesitation as a result of self consciousness. It seems like I almost never show people who I truly am unless I feel confident around them and usually I stumble like a fool until I get to that level of comfort. The common virtues of all INFJs are determination and integrity. As long as I stay true to those, I know I can be confident in myself and I know people who appreciate those qualities will be drawn to me.
 
sedna said:
...... I think I want to see how INFJs manage to progress through life with a constant stream of disappointment.
Click to expand...

Adjust. Divide. Conquer.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top