I THINK MY CATS ARE POSSESSED BY DEMONS WHAT DO I DO???

Neuropedia said:
That's it.
I officially turn my lesbian card in tonight.
I need a manly man to come protect me :m107:
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I have a couple lesbian friends who could protect you much better than a manly man ever could. :) I'll send them your way when I next see them. ;)
 
Neuropedia said:
HELP THEY'RE FREAKING OUT AND HISSING AND ATTACKING EACH OTHER. I TRIED TO MAKE THEM STOP BUT THEN THEY JUST STARTED ATTACKING ME SO I RAN AWAY BUT THEY FOLLOWED ME AND ATTACKED ME WITH THEIR LITTLE KITTY FANGS AND THEIR CLAWS I GAVE THEM TIME OUTS IN SEPARATE ROOMS BUT I AM SERIOUSLY SO SCARED AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
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If your cats attack you again, don't run. Brave their claws and fangs and roll them over on to their backs. They will scratch and bite like crazy but you've got to keep your cool. If you do this you're putting them into a position of submission therefore asserting your dominance.

Also if your cats are misbehaving make a "cha" noise. For some reason this stops them in their tracks.
 
Maybe you need to go preacher on their asses
 
I find clapping works - when my cats scratch at each other or the furniture, my sister or mum claps and they stop. I can't bring myself to do it, because they flinch and look sad :( But if they're going for you, it's best to stand up to them. My cat hits me from time to time and I just let him (he's faking it anyway XP), then tickle the back of his neck.
 
If your cats start doing this, then get out your squirt gun and fill with holy water.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9ZtOK3VsDs"]YouTube - Crazy Demon Cat Talking[/ame]
 
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I used to "cat-sit" a couple of very large, over-weight cats that used to do what I can only describe as "kitty roller-derby" around the house at 3 in the morning!

They would chase each other around the furniture, across (yes, across) the walls, and of course, jump onto the bed and pounce on my belly as they both went down the back stretch looking for the checkered flag.

:doh::doh::doh::doh:
 
Get a dog. (This won't work if you own a Roomba)


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf9wHkkNGUU"]YouTube - Roomba Cat swats Dog pit bull Sharky[/ame]
 
I suspect that I've been possessed by the demon avenger of a cat. I practically killed a cat by accident as a child. Never got over it.
 
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dNY9NCvASs"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dNY9NCvASs[/ame]

I love cats.
 
:tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy:
 
Some people just aren't equipped to handle their cats. Cats are just cats.

Anyone approaching their cat with a squirt gun or anything watery is torturing them. Don't do it, whatever happens, it only makes them more aggressive.

I have problems handling my sister's cats as well, because I'm not their mummy and they don't listen to me (although she did a great job training them). You have to know your cats and they have to know you.
 
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