I hate it when they have sex!

[Goblue72]

Yeah, you've really opened a Pandora's Box here, Curiosilla. At least you're getting feedback of some type. Probably address it with your roommate or both of them. You could also send him an email, or if it continues after speaking with him you could put up a sign on the curtain, throw a note on them, or buy a carrier pigeon. If worse comes to worst, you could have a nice baked beans dinner with some beer and spend the night in your room with them.

 

[Neuropedia]

spray them with water

 

[Edith]

The onus is on you.

YOU can say something and get them to understand the problem. Or YOU will have to live with the annoyance. Other people are not mind readers and you should not expect them to figure it out on their own. It might make you unconfortable, but that's your responsibillity to say something, and no one elses.

Don't be passive about say how you feel. If you don't you risk your relationship with these people dissolving.

+1.

 

[Bird]

I had this problem with my housemate though
in her case there were three actual walls separating
her from our other housemate who was the one
she had a problem with.


Personally, I think you're being slightly unreasonable.
Yes it is your home, but it is also his and he pays
his share of the bills too.


Also, I am rather ashamed by some of the suggestions
that people have given you.


There are always going to be things that bother others
but the thing is they keep it to his room, from what I
understand anyway, if it's too loud ask him in private if
he could say something to her about her levels of volume.


I just don't think that asking him to leave his own home
to have sex is really that good of a solution outside of
your perspective.

 

[Galileo]

I agree with that, he shouldn't have to leave his own home or set out a timetable for when he has sex...

but it is possible to have sex quietly, and it's also possible to have sex less, and indeed, considerate, if you have someone in the next room, who isn't even really seperated from the activity.

but if you say or do nothing then they won't be aware of how intrusive it is.

 

[Haven]

it is possible to have sex quietly

I know, but I just hate being quiet.. I always feel awkward,

However Ive always been considerate of my flatmates, but wheres the freedom in that

 

[Agapooka]

I had this problem with my housemate though
in her case there were three actual walls separating
her from our other housemate who was the one
she had a problem with.


Personally, I think you're being slightly unreasonable.
Yes it is your home, but it is also his and he pays
his share of the bills too.


Also, I am rather ashamed by some of the suggestions
that people have given you.


There are always going to be things that bother others
but the thing is they keep it to his room, from what I
understand anyway, if it's too loud ask him in private if
he could say something to her about her levels of volume.


I just don't think that asking him to leave his own home
to have sex is really that good of a solution outside of
your perspective.

I don't know if Curiosilla mentioned it, but part of the problem is that it keeps her from sleeping. It is both of their homes and indeed, consideration should be taken for everyone involved. In this case, consideration should require some sort of guidelines as to when it's acceptable to make noise at all. The thing is, the roommate at fault here also plays music loudly and watches movies loudly when it is clear that others are sleeping.

The sex just adds insult to injury, because it creates an awkwardness factor for others, in addition to the noise.

The problem here is a lack of consideration, not where or how her roommate has sex.

It was mentioned that it is someone's duty to communicate if someone else's actions pose a problem to them and that this other person cannot be expected to understand that his actions have such an effect. I believe something similar. I also believe that one also has the responsibility to do their best to be aware of how their actions affect others. This thread is about what Curiosilla can do about this, though, not about what her roommates can do, so I support the idea that some sort of communication should be attempted. But this is obvious to everyone.

The question is: how can one overcome the problems of initiating such a communication?


Agapooka

 

[Curiosilla]

Intresting...

I believe I mentioned it in my first post that one of the reasons I was complaining at the moment was because the "action" was going on right then and there and I needed some form of distraction for my eyes.

I know I'm the ONLY ONE who can actually "attempt" to fix this problem. I am aware of all the obvious options--the silly ones were fun to know though, and those are kinda the ones I wanted to hear--I think my laughs kind of disturbed them.

*By the way it's the guy who makes most of the noise--I hardly hear his girlfriend. He's loud.

I am going to confront him, but I'm going to be confronting him about the noise levels at night because they tend to love listening to it rather loudly until the second they go to sleep.

What i wont bring up, straight up, is the sex. Because to some extent I believe they are trying to "be quiet." It's just though--sex--and they get into it. I dont want to suggest the times or noise levels they should have to have sex because I wouldnt want anyone to tell me the same. Some people can have quieter sex than others--but hey I can't blame them for that.

If my partner was here I'd be doing the same, but what I would not do is blast music or television programs and give loud commentary when I knew someone was trying to go to sleep or might possibly even be studying.

So I'll try and fix that.

 

[Billy]

More clearly, I hate it when I knowthey are having sex!

I'm not sure if this thread fits in "Relationships and Sociology" but I need advice with the "relationship" I have with my roommates.

So I can hear everything that goes on in their room..

My wall is currently composed of curtains (creating "rooms" to lower rent cost...college...). In a way, my mother warned me about this before moving in (but that's another story)--I was more just looking at the savings at the moment--and my two roommates struck me as "trustable," so I went for it. They are trusting..but I soon found out they are also quite noisy..in more ways then one. Perhaps if the walls were actual walls I wouldnt be complaining about this right now.

So Here's the deal:

I share and apartment with two guys. one is hardly around. The other is more frequent--but he frequents with his girlfriend who practically lives here too now.

I can put up with having to hear their darn tv shows or music but it really makes me uncomfortable when I can hear them having sex.

I'm complaining right now because its happening as I type and I need a distraction--even with headphones I can see the curtains flutter.

I'm not sure how to handle this...I dont think I could bring myself up to telling them to have sex either while I'm not around, or "somewhere else please."

Gaaah how else can I rid myself of this problem?!? D;

Does his gf eat the community food (bread, butter, soda etc?) and use the shower and utilities? how often is she there? If she is there all the time and does use utilities and eat community food, you can consider bringing up to your other roomate that she needs to start chipping into the rent/utility bills, make them pay for their pleasure if its going to come at everyone elses expenses, at least then you will be gaining from her being there as well.

 

[Faye]

I don't see this as much of an issue, but that is just me I guess.

Make your own noises, and make them louder? Blast music?

Why does it bother you?

 

[Wyote]

You should do all of these previously mentioned things at the same time. Right when you hear that first unzip or plop on the bed.

Blast the most annoying music you can find (annoying to them), run into their room with a video camera and squirt gun, slap them both on their asses and run out.


Or you know... establish some ground rules... but that's boring.

 

[Cecilff2]

spray them with water

 

[Norton]

Make a recording and play it back to them. Or, play it back to them the next time they're going at it. This'll work.

 

[This]

Pound on the wall and yell, "Moan a little louder, I'm almost there!"

 

[christmas]

no one likes a cockblocker, guys. stop with the crazy ideas (even though they are funny as hell).

i think you are just incompatible as roommates. who the hell plays loud music, watches tv on full blast, and has sex loudly when there is only a curtain between you and a sleeping roomie? i can understand sometimes doing it, but if it were me i'd try to cut down on the frequency. i think that's just considerate.

 

[Haven]

Pound on the wall and yell, "Moan a little louder, I'm almost there!"

OH Sali haha

 

[donkeybals]

I think you came up with the best possible solution - telling him he's being loud at night.

 

[Vicarious]

Play Dueling Banjos like on Deliverance and tell them to squeal like a pig.

 

[Quinlan]

Lay back and think of England.

 

[daydreamer]

Pound on the wall and yell, "Moan a little louder, I'm almost there!"

:rofl:


Are they still doing it to you by the way? You should actually try some of these ideas lol.