How far off from your comfort zone have ever been?

In college I occasionally left my comfort zone. But not that far. That was a terrible way to leave the zone. There were some parties that would have left my comfort zone in another galaxy. I just skipped those. Overall there was a terrible need amongst the "Rhodes Scholar" class at my college to experience the most Dionysian excesses. I always found that a bit repulsive.

Post-college, I left my comfort zone in far more rewarding and personal ways that had greater rewards. As a mild example, I took a road trip across the country with some people I barely new, had some adventures and misadventures, but enjoyed it.

 

ecton... i'd like to hear more about that road trip with the people you barely knew

i have been tested a lot lately

what are we so uncomfortable with?

i think we are only ever uncomfortable with ourselves, with what we feel confident bringing to the table

there are plenty of reasons why we would prefer to do what we want

when i am confronted with things that i dont like, i figure that time is the best time to change myself into a different person

 

Played mind-games with the opposite sex. I dislike any kind of dishonesty and I much prefer a relationship that is open and everyone's cards are on the table. In fact, I usually avoid folks who engage in psychological warfare, because I personally hate how that basically takes over the whole foundation of the relationship. But this time, I decided that two could play at the same game. I am excellent at reading people, so it felt like I was using my powers for nefarious purposes, instead of good at first, but afterwards, it was kind of empowering.... in a, "HAH! Take THAT!" sort of way.

In the end, though, we both ended up losing out. :/

 

Hmm. The sex shop job interview and the rock star's hotel room with all the shenanigans going on in the background are probably at the top of the pile. Seriously. I have no idea how I ended up in either situation. In my teens I used to do outlandish things for kicks - not because it was me, but because nobody else would do it, and I enjoyed adding colour to otherwise mundane situations. Haven't done anything wildly uncomfortable in years, mind you. I settled down, but if you know where to find it, the mischievous streak is still there.

 

I'm always changing myself into a different person. It's confusing. It leaves me wondering who I really am.

We took a bus trip through western Turkey, hopping from bus to bus over about 2 weeks from the southern coast up to Istanbul. It was an incredible journey. I never felt unsafe over there. I can't say the same for the US.

 

I think the worse was during a business meeting when the owner of the company I worked for said, "Let's take a 5 minute break, and then we'll have Dale lead the discussion on such and such topic."

I was completely blindsided. I didn't have anything prepared since well, I wasn't planning on giving a presentation.

All I remember was having tunnel vision, and despite being told later that I did fine, I'm not sure what I said made any sense at all.
I was clearly being tested by the owner.

 

Hmm. I would say the time I did shrooms was the furthest I have gone. I did it off pure impulse, had to involve myself with people I never had to, and then acted like I never do (even outside the drug effects).

 

my sweet 16!!! omfg!!!

4 people were invited to come share a movie, and some pizza with cake and ice cream for desert.

20 or so people decided to invite themselves, play strip poker, and strip - spin the bottle.... UGH Bruce, bless him, was a 14 year old gay pyromaniac (for the note I have absolutely no problem with his sexuality) was having sex with my matress while talking all dirty to his boyfriend (now THAT I had a problem with)!!!!!

 

Wow, sounds like an awesome party.

 

Anytime throughout my life when I've been sitting in a psychologist's office, I've been WAY outside of my comfort zone. I don't like psychologists or psychiatrists.

Their science is far too inexact and their treatment of people's minds as 'diseased' still rankles me deeply, particularly knowing what I know about modern neuroscience. People should be healers based on their capacity to actually heal minds, not on their capacity to read a text book and spout answers. There's far too much distance between the psychologist and the lives of the people they're working with. Granted, that is the law, but real healing requires a presence and availability that's simply not there to the profession.

 

When I was in the middle of a huge problem with a very close friend of mine. We weren't getting along well for a while for reasons neither of us understood the origin of, but my friend had stopped wishing to be collaborative despite this mutual understanding. I put myself into a state of panic and, well, there are too many details to go on about; but I said a lot of things that I didn't even agree with as I was saying them and responded to things he said in ways I normally wouldn't. I was very confused at the time but I remember feeling uncomfortable with myself as I continued to say and do things with almost no feeling of control to stop.

 

Hmmm, I'd say far enough. I've been in a relationship with a guy who is a criminal, I've been in a girls handball team (needless to say that girls handball is pretty violent sport and that girls tend to avoid all the rules and regulations about cutting nails and trying to rip each others uniforms ), I hitchhiked for years and had numerous episodes with crazy guys, .... hmmm there is more, but I can't think of anything else interesting right now.

 

Standing in front of an audience and speaking to them for a few hours a few days a week, every week, is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay outside my comfort zone but I do it anyway. Nuff said.

 

I once auditioned for a play. It was a cold reading (i.e. you're given the script only minutes before the audition). I wouldn't have done it had it not been for my friend's (supportive) insistence. It was something we had spoken about before but was still somewhat impromptu. I'm so glad I did it.

I've been in quite a number of situations that took me out of my comfort zone. I used to take a fair amount of initiative in high school in terms of getting involved with organizations, which lead to a few great volunteer and job opportunities, which again led to other great opportunities down the road from that which again stretched my comfort zone and brought me to where I am today. I've moved across the country by myself a few times for months at a time to places where I didn't know anyone as well. A lot of the experiences I was in while I was in school required me to be in positions to which I had to adapt and through which I had manage my way - very rarely did I feel comfortable.

My life in general has been about me being stretched beyond my comfort zone - not all of it but quite a bit, and most of what's gotten me to where I am came about from me stepping into the unknown. It wasn't easy or without its frustrations and I've fallen hard a few times, but in a way I'm grateful for it. I haven't always taken as many risks as I could have or faced my fears, I've run more than I wish I had as well, but it's gratifying to experience the rewards of allowing life to fashion and expand you. There really are no words for it.

A friend of mine used to say something that I absolutely loved.. when she had something nerve-wrecking (but good) coming up, she would always say "... yeah, but it's an excited kind of nervous", followed by a grin. She usually welcomed the challenge and allowed her experiences to energize/excite instead of daunt her. It was fantastic to witness and reminded me that I had the choice to frame a given event in a particular way.

Edit: Having said that, I believe it's important to know one's boundaries and limits. Stepping outside of our comfort zones is great when it comes in ebbs and flows - step in, step out, step in, step out. Having comfort/safety in life to replenish us is much like needing a day or two of healing after working out our muscles (when muscles get worked beyond their usual range the fibres tear then with rest/nourishment they heal and become stronger, ready to be strengthened again).

 

I've been very much a homebody my entire life, especially in my younger years. When I was sixteen, after having experienced some significant emotional turmoil, I found myself packing up and moving to a new time zone by myself to start a new life.

Even though I lived with my grandmother, I was ultimately responsible for myself. I haven't lived consistently at home since.

It's amazing what leads us to rip away from our comfort zones. Typically we are already uprooted in one way, uncomfortable in another. It's almost like: what else do I have to lose?

 

Gave some random stranger a ride home as I was leaving school (a few years ago).
He sidled up to me and asked to use my cell. I let him. Then he said he'd walk me to my car. I let him. Then he asked for a ride. I gave him one.

All was well until I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he kept fishing in his pockets--then he'd see that I noticed that and he'd freeze, like he was trying to be secretive.
His overall demeanor seemed to become... ominous and shady.
So I said, "Self: He's probably going to carjack you or rape you or both."

So I started talking non-stop about God and pretending like I was trying to convert him to Pentecostalism. I even demonstrated praying in tongues to him. Then asking him tons of questions about himself.

I was so uncomfortable I figured I may as well try and make him uncomfortable--

It just seemed he'd be too caught off guard to do anything that way. He directed me to drive far into some unfamiliar neighborhood where he got out of the car and said goodbye in a friendly way.

He may or may not have had evil intentions towards me.. But that's just the way it panned out.

 

Agreeing to attend a dinner party at a middle class family

 

I would count being sexually abused and a couple of bad experiences with psychoactives among my most uncomfortable moments.


cheers,
Ian

 

I'm a type 6 enneagram. I don't have a comfort zone.