How does your anger feel to you? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

How does your anger feel to you?

I get 'upset' more than I get angry nowadays. But when I used to get angry, I felt homicidal.
 
I don't show my anger often, everything just builds up. Then the unfortunate soul says one wrong thing which sets me off and I too EXPLODE. It does feel better after and I do think it is healthy to let it out once in a while since we INFJs have a tendency to internalize our feelings (which have negative effects). However, sometimes I do regret some of the things that come out of my mouth during those moments since I tend to lose all sensitivity to others' feelings when I explode. I know cannot sustain my explosion. If the other person is a really aggressive extrovert I cannot compete against them for long... leading me to withdraw and become depressed.
 
If I'm irritated or resentful, it comes on like a quick flash of red, as if to say, "Stay away from me!" But if that turns into frustration and pure anger... then I go cold inside. And it's not a good, soothing cold, but painful, like I'm being frozen from the inside-out, and the ice itself is searing my heart. I've also noticed that my voice gets deeper and hoarser if I'm truly feeling provoked and I feel less human and more like a beast about to be uncaged.

Fortunately for the rest of the world, such episodes tend to pass quickly for me, and I do my best to avoid conflict or smooth preexisting ones over whenever I can.
 
It feels like cold fire sharpening my mind and unlocking doors to actions such as murder or torture.
 
So basically, homicidal?
 
It takes A LOT to get me angry but when I do....... explosions, earthquakes, hurricanes, the lot. stand back. The weird thing is though, I can switch it off just as quickly as it switched itself on. In about two seconds I can go from fire breathing monster to calm as a stream and vice versa. odd
 
I'm generally laid back,but I tend to keep a lot of old anger bottled up inside.I'm not emotionally expressive and not not comfortable with putting my emotions on display so it mostly stays under wraps.Occasionally the anger will be intensified or triggered by a circumstance or person who have pushed it over the edge,or it might just be a plan of mine that didn't work out as imagined.When the angers is roused it feels like being burned from inside,like having something gnaw at you-like a self destructive force that awakens feelings of aggression and destructiveness in me.These feelings are mostly focused inward and I'm the only one who suffers the consequences of it,but under some conditions the anger will spill over to others.What happens then isn't nice.
 
In a very basic form, no, not homocidal... More vicious. Once you kill a person they can't feel any more pain or humiliation. And that's just not on.
 
Ah...So you're the type that likes to keep them for years, slowly torturing them day by day in new and outrageous ways, before finally, something you do pushes them too far and they just die. I see this very clearly now.
 
do we not elongate the pain in ourselves when we do so torturing another for length? doesn't hatred breed hatred...is not hatred for another a reflection of pain within ourselves?
 
Some people thrive off that sort of thing, dude.
 
THIS IS MADNESS
 
It's a little thing in the back of my head that tells me I should punch someone. It doesn't show up much, and when it does I can usually control it pretty well.
 
My anger is rarely pretty.

I'm not aggressive, or violent. My anger is a cold, blank, monotone form of expression that refuses to listen to the person I am angry with. I refuse to accept their excuses for their actions, and demand they prove they're sorry through their actions, not their words.

I hold grudges for life. I never let them go unless a person proves they have changed.
 
mine is an instant explosion of rage... doesn't last long...

and then i get quite... which is dangerous, cause i am usually plotting something... actually, more like daydreaming on what i would like to do or have done...
 
Yeah, anger.

For me, it's a flash that comes out of nowhere. There's this very short window right after that - where if I can get ahold of it during that period of time, I won't do something stupid. Stupid being eviscerating (them) with my tongue and glare without a care of who's nearby, or possibly lobbing something nonlethal in their direction (but not at them).

With as much as we INFJs like to maintain control, anger is one of the emotions that I have the hardest time dealing with, and few others leave me feeling ashamed afterward. I agree with the mindset change - I have to do that before I can let it go, and more often than not it is a catalyst towards improving something.
 
I don't get angry very often. If I feel myself getting angry I normally try and roll with it, or even intensify it. To me, emotions don't come often enough to ignore them =/
 
I get angry a lot over little things- I HATE holding back- I don't like the feeling, so I just end up yelling. But I'm all bark and no bite. I release the anger and then I'm over it.

Although sometimes I think I hold back and let it fester and then explode on someone. I always seem to hold back from the person I am in a relationship with- as if I am not allowed to be angry at them or something. Or if I am angry at someone but can't discuss it with them because I know they won't take it well. Then I get angry about everything they do. :/
 
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rainrise said:
extremely repressed anger that is brewing beneath the surface and to which i am unable to contain anymore feels like a very sore and throbbing throat. rarely do i feel this kind of anger.

more commonly, anger takes on forms of resentment, sheer frustration, or desperation depending on its orientation or cause.
Click to expand...

People in our society are afraid of their anger. Instead they say "I'm not angry I'm just frustrated/annoyed/etc"- but that IS anger. It may not be RAGE or HATE (more intense anger) but it IS anger.

These are our basic emotions:
Happiness
Joy
Fear
Anger
Guilt
Shame
Sadness
Pain/Hurt

All others are combinations of these, other words for these, watered-down versions of these, or magnified versions of these.

We feel anger in our throats and in our stomachs.
It's fascinating to me- the physiological placement of emotions.
So many people in our country are so emotionally stunted- and I've done facilitation work plenty of times to see this is how it goes:
you'll say "What are you feeling?" and they'll say "I dunno" and you'll say "How is your body feeling?" and they say "My stomach hurts" and you'll say "Sounds like anger- are you angry?" and they ARE! You coax 'em a little and they can let it all out. Amazing.
 
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