How does age influence the way you relate to someone? | INFJ Forum

How does age influence the way you relate to someone?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Oct 20, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    How does age influence the way you relate to someone? Your age and theirs?


    Do you expect to be treated in a particular way because of your age?


    Do you treat people differently based on their age or the age group? Or do you see everyone the same?


    Do you relate quite a bit with your own age group or do you feel, behave, or think differently than they do? How?
     
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    #1 Gaze, Oct 20, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2010
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  2. KazeCraven

    KazeCraven Graduated from Typology : May 2011
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    I often feel both like a child and like someone in his mid 40s. When things go over my head and I don't know what to do, I feel like a child. When people need to explain something to me because I've never bothered to keep up with pop/local culture, I feel like a child. But then, when someone needs to know something, or something needs to be done, or when someone expects me to play along with the "be cool" game, I feel like I'm some kid's father who's out of today's style. I think that's because I very rarely care to "just talk" about things.

    Aside from how I address older people and "talk down to" young kids, I pretty much treat people based on how I see them, including their personalities, education, and experience.
     
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  3. Bird

    Bird Happy Go Lucky

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    Perhaps your other personalities are making themselves known?
    (this joke okai.)
     
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  4. Sesquipedalian

    Sesquipedalian Community Member

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    Because I'm young for my field, I'm always underestimated.

    I suppose that's good though, because that gives me the chance to far exceed my superiors' expectations.
     
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  5. SamE

    SamE Community Member

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    I sometimes tend to relate to age groups beyond my years, I wonder how much this is subconscious and how much is this part of my communication and environments.
     
  6. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    I've noticed and have been told I get along better with people older than myself...hmm...
    I enjoy being around people more advanced along than me :)D) because i feel that they are often wise, interesting, and have great things to say if we would only listen.

    I can only speculate on how my age is perceived by others, i don't know...

    I suppose i have a bit more admiration and respect for those older than me.

    Expect to be treated a certain way based off of my own age? Not particularly.

    I feel different than most my age. I guess the world around me seems all busy, busy, hurry, hurry, not to mention obsessed with entertainment. I feel i have a lot less of both of those traits.

    I would love to hear from some people older than myself on how they view my generation..(generation Y)


    great thread par usual, anita. :)
     
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  7. Claridon

    Claridon Community Member

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    I'm sorta in the no man's land between x and y generations, but I would have to agree that I get along well with people who are older, I feel like they have things to say, more experience, and I want to learn from their mistakes. I get along well with people younger than me, and an often mistaken for some one of a younger generation. It's an odd place to navigate, but time has made me a little bit more comfortable in my own skin.

    I like generation Y, RwiR. They are interesting.
     
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  8. jyrffw54

    jyrffw54 שכינה עוֹלֶה

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    At 19, sometimes I'm 12 and sometimes I'm 42.
    I seem to relate to older people better, in general, because growing up, kids my age didn't really like me much because I wasn't into clothes in fashion like they were...So I spent my time either alone reading about my interests, or discussing them with someone older, usually a college-aged to 40 year old person...You get the picture. Older people also have been more tolerant and accepting of my ideas, dreams, and quirks. I think it's just a maturtity thing in short.

    Conversely, I would also spend time with younger children, who were, for the most part, very accepting of me, and I learned from them almost as much as they learn from me.

    I try to treat people their age, no matter how immature/mature they act. But as a rule, I will treat someone who is more mature than their age, as older than they are. I have a good friend at my college, who's 15. he is hands-down the most mature and intelligent 15 year old that I have ever met. I treat hom like he's 19 or 20...despite the fact that he can't drive yet. lol
     
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  9. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    I think age does influence the way we relate, although ultimately it is just one of many factors. I turned 55 recently...most younger people treat me like an uncle.
     
  10. OP
    Gaze

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    How does age influence the way you relate to someone? Your age and theirs?
    - I relate to someone more based on seniority, position, etc. than age. When i try to relate to someone older, i fail miserably. On the other hand, i'm not comfortable relating to younger, unless it's kids.

    Do you expect to be treated in a particular way because of your age?
    - Not anymore, since in my 30s. But for many people, young is young. So, for some it's always going to be more comfortable to relate to someone as "from the younger generation" than to relate to someone as an individual. So, generation gaps can seem a bit too wide to cross. People will still see age even when it shouldn't be a factor in how they relate to someone.

    Do you treat people differently based on their age or the age group? Or do you see everyone the same?
    - I tend to see everyone differently depending less on age than their emotional/social behavior. I try to treat everyone the same (respectfully) but realized that it's actually quite ineffective. Whether or not you treat someone as an equal doesn't signify they will treat you as one. And it's easy to dismiss unique and interesting distinctions between people if you treat them the same. And people will rarely respond the way you expect them to. It's a constant adjustment relating to different people. You almost have to be a chameleon to keep up today.
     
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    #10 Gaze, Oct 21, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2010
  11. middle1

    middle1 Hellur

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    How does age influence the way you relate to someone? Your age and theirs?
    I'm always respectful to my elders. I usually relate better with older people. I do have younger friends too. However I can't help but see that SOME younger adults (I'm sure I'm one of them too) think that they have it all figured out and can conquer the world.

    Do you expect to be treated in a particular way because of your age?
    Not really, just respect in general is all I hope for. Most people think I'm younger and I always get ID'd at restaraunts by 18 year olds when I order a drink, its silly.


    Do you treat people differently based on their age or the age group? Or do you see everyone the same?
    I try to be respectful of all people. I use extra patience with the elderly folks and explain and go into detail more with younger people.

    Do you relate quite a bit with your own age group or do you feel, behave, or think differently than they do?
    I really do feel a sense of commradarie with my generation. Class of 2000! We are all at different stages in life though so its kinda neat. I do relate to them pretty well.
     
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  12. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    I was taught there was a differnce between an elder and an old person. Typically Native culture has a great deal of respect for age and the wisdom that comes with age. That being said, age itself does little to enhance someone's wisdom if that person doesn't make an effort to gain knowledge and insight. As far as my own age, I don't feel particularily old and I don't look particularily old. I would say that most people don't take into account that I am 40 and I don't really emphasize that I am older. Not ashamed of my age but I don't have kids or a husband so I tend to be foot loose and fancy free so I would say I don't appear older to most people because of that.
     
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  13. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    Just one part of the puzzle. I try to see it in context.
     
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  14. NeverAmI

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    Age doesn't influence my perceptions much for general adults. I am much more influenced by someone's personality and intelligence.

    Not really.

    If someone is a teenager or an adolescent, I have to keep in mind what it was like for me in those years, because sometimes they seem very irrational. I generally try to be more patient with non-adults.

    Most of the people in my age group are married with kids and seem to live vicariously through sports, at least where I live. I enjoy the stories but I can't really contribute to the discussions much.

    Otherwise, age doesn't really mean much to me.
     
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  15. KazeCraven

    KazeCraven Graduated from Typology : May 2011
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    Maybe. I suppose when it comes to relating, I am just the older person. Never really was one to play games and stay on top of the social game. I think really I just lack the "social side" that most people have, leaving me only able to relate to people from other angles.
     
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  16. Jonathan

    Jonathan Community Member

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    How does age influence the way you relate to someone? Your age and theirs?
    It doesn't really. Sometimes people think that the experience factor comes in to play, andtherefore people without the same amount of life experience couldn't possibly relate to eachother. I find that this isn't always true. I think that as long as you're willing to understand a person, regardless of their age, you can relate to them. Often I find that I'm able to carry on conversations most easily with people who are in their mid thirties and upwards. I find that most people, when they reach this age, become less focused on experiencing all the world has to offer, and focus more on what things mean and how they observe the world. They tend to be mature, insightful, and willing to have a long and meaningful conversation.

    Do you expect to be treated in a particular way because of your age?
    Depends. Most of the time, when people meet me, they don't really know what to expect. I don't look like a "normal" 17 year old. Appearance wise, people usually can't pinpoint my age. Recently, I've been thought to be within the range of 21 to 25. If people know that I'm 17, I find that they keep trying to convince themselves I'm their average teenager, even though they know I'm not. It's interesting to see people try to put me under that stereotype. Usually people ask me questions like "You probably would rather be out with your friends, right?" or "You probably don't care much about.... people your age aren't into that, right?" But once they get to know me, they usually just throw the expectations out the window, which is good, because everyone matures at a different pace.

    Do you treat people differently based on their age or the age group? Or do you see everyone the same?
    I see everyone the same in the way that I don't necessarily judge people's maturity, inerests, or lifestyle on their age. It has more to do with the things they talk about, their personality, their mannerisms, their choice of words, and thier emotional intelligence. When I'm talking to a child, I assess how advanced the child's knowledge is in order to know how to speak to them. I don't like to treat children like they don't know as much as I do. I prefer to let them show me what they know and are capable of. With elderly people, I have a deep respect for them because I realize that they have been through almost an entire lifetime of experiences, and carry with them the wisdom and understanding that came from those years. I usually prepare myself to listen to what they have to say and to share, and likely to be sensitive in expressing disagreement as the opinions they share have likely been in development for several decades.

    Do you relate quite a bit with your own age group or do you feel, behave, or think differently than they do? How?
    I definitely do not relate to my current age group. My concept of time, the way I communicate, and my attitudes toward life are quite different. But then again, it's always been that way for me. I guess I just accepted the fact that I view life differently than the typical person my age, and just accepted that as who I am.
    I don't really had much use for any of the current language trends, and never have. I've always spoken in a more formal way. Not that I'm really a formal person at all, but because I feel that there is a certain unappealing quality to talking like everyone else does. I also look at life more intensely and seriously than most people my age. I don't just take things at face value, or go for any opportunity that comes my way, I prefer to think things through and make wise choices. I also find parties and casual dating unappealing, which is pretty much how my graduating class has spent their first year out of high school.
     
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  17. DevilDoll

    DevilDoll Beware! I Bite...

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    It's not about age, it's about life experience. Age is simply a number. Sure, some one who is 40 has had more time to experience life, but that doesn't mean they have. I have found many older people who have lived sheltered lives and did not mature because of it. To me, age is a number. I don't make any kind of judgement based on it. I want to observe how the person actually is first.

     
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