For thinking women and feeling men. | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

For thinking women and feeling men.

As a child I hung out with the boys and did boy things. I played with action figures (Action man and Thunderbird toys) and dressed up as Batman and pretended that I was a superhero.
I had an equal mix of male and female friends. I was never into gossiping and chasing the boys around the school yard (some game that the school girls would play when they would chase the boys and force them to kiss them) I didn't get it (still don't) and wasn't interested. I was teased on a regular basis for being a tom boy. When the teasing began, I started to isolate myself and spent most of my play time in the library (reading up on the paranormal and Roald Dahl). In my teens I wasn't interested at all in dating, its only now that I am open to the idea, but I'm not going to run down the road with a billboard saying that I am available to the world.

My older sisters do point out that I am tactless in my approach. But I'm working on it.
 
Makes us F men sound like pussies. I'm pretty sure that most of us F men disagree somewhat.

I've never been described as being soft. In fact I'm sure my F makes me more protective.
 
I cannot say this is totally correct for all people per se; but I personally relate to most of the F males description (...in a way.). And since I'm being surrounded by T females, I think the Thinking women descriptions is somewhat correct too.
 
Here are some lyrics -- mostly for women -- who don't fit neatly into any stereotypes:

She wore a pink tutu and her cowboy boots, and her big brother's superman cape
Shootin' down dragons from her little red wagon
To keep the backyard safe
Stubborn as a grass stain,
runnin' 'round in french braids,
tough for such a little girl
Livin in a big boys' world--

Oh--shes a pink warrior
She's a fighter like her mama always taught to be
Got an army of angels marchin around with her
She won't give in
Yeah she's gonna win
She's a pink warrior

I didn't write those lyrics, but it seems appropriate for T-women. It seems appropriate for a whole lot of women, actually, myself included.

Maybe there is someone wordallly-gifted who could write one for F-Men.

That sounds kind of like a movie title, doesn't it? BEWARE! Here come the F-Men and they are going to ROCK YOUR WORLD!!!!
 
I'm a feeler bigtime and yet, I played with boys as a child, I get along better with men than I do women, and a lot of the attributes in that article attributed to T women I have. I played sports. I also played with dolls and barbies and played dress up and did all that girly stuff. But I think I'm pretty balanced . As an adult I like baseball and video games and can easily be "just one of the guys". I work in a completely male dominated industry and I've always believed women to be equal to men.
I'll never be what I call a "sex and the city girl" 500 dollar handbags and designer shoes do absolutely nothing for me.
I'd rather buy electronics or fatten up my dvd collection than waste money on designer clothes.
I feel more at home in jeans and a hoodie than I ever would in a dress.
Sometimes, I even objectify women (lol)
I like knowing how things work, I love logic and yet I'm an F. I'm an F because I'm extremely empathetic.
I think all men should be in touch with their feminine side and all women should be in touch with their masculine side but I don't really believe that F=femine or that T=masculine.
 
I was more interested in "boy" activities as a kid... I harassed my dad to teach me how to throw a football when he was teaching my brother until he gave in.. I bugged him and honed in on my dad's judo lessons with my brother when I was younger until he let me into the lessons. But it was because I insisted on being taught and treated the same as my brother. I never wanted to be treated a certain way or excluded just because I was a girl.

I was mostly friends with girls growing up, and I don't see my relationships or interactions with other women as gossipy or vapid or concerned with whatever stereotypes are still popular. I felt I could relate to girls in some ways and boys in others. I didn't date til I was in my 20s because I always felt more mature than the guys who were interested in me--they never seemed to measure up.
And I find great satisfaction in doing my own work-- designing my own accessories to sell (budding entrepreneur) or just studying whatever I feel like I want to study at the moment..though I couldn't say it's more important than having good relationships with my family friends or boyfriend.. It's all of equal importance to me.
 
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88chaz88 said:
Makes us F men sound like pussies. I'm pretty sure that most of us F men disagree somewhat.

I've never been described as being soft. In fact I'm sure my F makes me more protective.
Click to expand...

I know plenty of men who are T's in real life that are sissy's.
 
Why do the words sissy and manly even matter anymore?
What good do the concepts of being tough and manly do?
What bad does being soft or a 'sissy' do?
 
bananaphone said:
Why do the words sissy and manly even matter anymore?
What good do the concepts of being tough and manly do?
What bad does being soft or a 'sissy' do?
Click to expand...

Manly = temperamental and aggressive display of emotion.
Sissy = emotional display of vulnerability, sadness.

That's how I see it. It's actually funny, I always thought people in general are too emotional, men and women alike. However, when men react emotionally and get into physical altercations they are "manly", but when women cry or express sadness they are being stereotyped as "over-reacting", being overly emotional, unreasonable, etc.
 
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Regarding that reluctance to fight for the males... It's true that I've always distasted physical violence but the reason for that is that it's too overwhelming emotionally. I am quite sensitive to subtle emotional changes in my environment therefore a fight breakout is something comparable to a full blown storm. And most fights are not worth anyway.

Yet for those that are worth it, I strike mercilessly and without hesitation. People are very surprised to experience that side of me.
 
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I read the T woman part and could relate to much of it. I always had male friends although I didn't really engage in "male" activities (sports, cars, building things). I actually did a whole bunch of extroveted things when I was younger, primarily theatre. I usually have one or two really close female friends at any given time but not more than that. The part I most related to was the whole didn't date much at a young age thing. I have a very strong personality and am forthright and don't hide my Te at all. I don't think I am able to play stupid or giggly, not a brain in my head kinda person at all. That is not to say that I am not feminine because I am a bit of a girly girl (okay a lot). However, I strongly believe that most men are intimidated by me because I project a very confident, authoratative manner. I also have stated before, that tact was a learned behavior for me.
 
I relate to most of it, interesting the thing about fighting defensively, whenever I got into a fight it was always defensive, I even remember stepping into a looming fight and actually taking the blows for my friend. If I get in a fight I spend most of my time trying to restrain the other guy, I've never just belted someone.
 
wow!! I could really relate to most of the T women stuff. It was like telling my story. I am still more driven for relationships at home though. I am an F but I learned as a kid to hide anything that looked like feelings. I don
 
NiennaLadyOfTears said:
See, I'm an F, and definitely did not identify with girls.
Click to expand...

I agree. I hung out with guys, was ashamed of my female species for a long time, because they played games while dating. I thought that was a stupid way to behave. I thought painting their nails, having endless pairs of shoes, and talking only about boys was a total waste of time. I loved building things, figuring out how things worked, and was a total geek.
On the other hand, I am curvy, very feminine, and love my feelings.
So I'm not sure it's spot on.
 
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I read the man-with-F part. I could relate to some of it, but ~50% was not me at all.

And I dislike conflict, that is true. That said, at a certain point when I've exhausted other means of conflict resolution and de-escalation with no success, well - all bets are off.


cheers,
Ian
 
No one is 100% T or F. So its no surprise if some of what was said in the article doesn't fit, with you, as the individual.
Instead this article is more stereotyping those with a high amount of either T or F and how it is handled by women and men alike.
 
FWIW I related to most of the Male F stuff, expect this bit though:

And once they're teenagers, it's OK to be around girls. And, it seems that from adolescence on, Feeling men have more female friends than male friends.
Click to expand...
I never had any female friends until very recently, and I still have more male friends than female. It might have been a trust thing - I had to put up with a lot of jerks during my teens, but at least the guys were upfront about it. The girls though were much more deceptive, they'd act friendly at first and then turn on you after you'd let your guard down, which obviously made it that much more difficult to trust any girl.
 
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My eyes they burn, too long. hahaha. What DC said. Me and women, actually come to think of it I did have lots of female friends when I was very young but then I went through a patch of being not myself until the last few months. Trust me I know what I'm talking about I think and I'm adjusting to my excellent energy once again that was awesome once and will again. And as for the article I'll have a look, I looked and yeah blind.
 
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DefectiveCreative said:
I had to put up with a lot of jerks during my teens, but at least the guys were upfront about it. The girls though were much more deceptive, they'd act friendly at first and then turn on you after you'd let your guard down, which obviously made it that much more difficult to trust any girl.
Click to expand...

And that's why I had more guy friends than girl friends in my teenage years. It's only recently that I have met female friends who are as upfront as I like. No games or nonsensical competition/drama.

It could possible just be the girl-girl interaction vs. guy-girl interaction.
 
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