Extroverted INFJs?? | INFJ Forum

Extroverted INFJs??

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by Mystic7, Sep 22, 2009.

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  1. Mystic7

    Mystic7 Regular Poster

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    In the INFJ typology, my N and F are the strongest, and my I and J are closer to the borderline. However, after reading all the profiles, the INFJ definitely sounds more like me than any of the others.

    But sometimes I wonder if I'm even an introvert. I mean, a lot of the INFJs I have run across are extremely reclusive and really are not able to socialize with people very well, and some have social anxiety. Some of them hardly ever go out in public, and they seem to tend to only have maybe one friend that they see on a regular basis, if that. It also seems like they spend a lot of time and effort in hiding from people. Not all of them but a lot. (No offense to anyone, these are just things I have observed.)

    I think I'm a lot more outgoing than I have been in the past... I am still a private person, in terms of I am not going to tell my life's story to some stranger at a party, or even to acquaintances unless I have some reason to tell them. But, I don't feel shy in a group of people, although again I am not necessarily going to go revealing a whole bunch of stuff about myself either. It usually depends on the dynamics of the group but I never hesitate to speak up, and like going out and doing things with people.

    I work at home and live alone, and I think this may cause me to tend to be more extroverted when I go out. Hmm... not really sure. Maybe I am a 'conditioned' extrovert. lol.... like I'm really an introvert but because I spend a lot of time at home or alone, I end up wanting to go out and see people, and I act more extroverted? Weird huh. It's just a theory.

    The ENFJ profile really doesn't sound like me at all though... it says stuff like 'expansive' and 'always looking at the big picture' and 'dealing with a bunch of people at once' etc, which doesn't sound like me at all.

    Are any of you the more extroverted INFJs? Or does anyone have any thoughts about this or experiences with this? Thanks.


     
  2. Ria

    Ria Snow White over the ocean

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    I have my times when I crave the recluse of my home and my mind for sure... I do however know that now I am in my late 30's that I am more comfortable with myself to be more extroverted. And I also think that I am more open now even with what I post on the threads here... I feel somehow that I have been there myself in some instances, so I try and write things that r helpful, caring and sharing... gawd that sounded cheesy. So ya, I tend to think that being older and in one's 30's can play a big part in it all as far as coming out of one's shell. Having said this tho, I do still live largly in my head, and still even with company I can be far away in thoughts of my own, and kinda just wish I could go and be by myself again. And... my friends all don't know exactly who I am still... most of me tho, but not all... how can they, but u must know what I am talking about. As u said in yr post, even tho yr with others and r open, u still hold back a part of yrself like we all do as is common for our type. So ya I'm kinda the same as u in my own way I guess, and again, it's because I'm older.
     
  3. Gaze

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    Maybe you can consider another type, if INFJ doesn't fit as well. I'm not sure but have you considered INFP?

    I think I can relate to this somewhat, if not entirely.
     
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    #3 Gaze, Sep 22, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2009
  4. Raccoon Love

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    I think the answer is the fact that your I/E are borderlines as you stated. I think it is possible for you to almost act as an extrovert because the I/E are so close. I think this makes you more balance. Now the question is wether your an extrovert or not, I think this would be very hard to tell specially when scores are so tight together. Some introverts can enjoy talking, being outgoing etc.. but I think that after doing so, an introvert will need some time to recharges and reflect. So I think you should question yourself, Do I need much time to recharge my batteries? or can I keep on socializing without stopping and it does not really bother me?. Another introvert characteristic is the importance of personal so time so I would ask myself, Do I prefer to do solitary activities or do I need to be in a group of people? You might say a bit of both, but only you can decide which one do you prefer, event if it's a slight preference. From the INFJ's I seen when I was lurking we seem to have a mix of both, there are those who are extremely introverted who score 100% on introversion on nearly every single test( I include myself on this list) or those who have tight scores like yours which enjoy the company of others, but desire and ask their space and privacy right afterwards. SO I think it is certainly possible to be an INFJ and still have extrovert characteristics( I think this is even more visible if you have a very strong Fe).
     
  5. efromm

    efromm Underground and breathing.
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    I know I can be very out going when I want to be I just choose not too now. It is too draining to be the life of the party all the time. You live alone so you get your quiet time and you can go out and have a good time. I can relate I used to be the same at one point in my life. Now I truly enjoy my quiet time.
     
  6. midnightmelody

    midnightmelody nagging for truth

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    My I and J border a lot, too. I think as a whole, INFJ fits me best.

    I'm quite talkative when I'm comfortable, but when I'm uncomfortable, I'm pretty much a wallflower.

    Plus I'm too afraid of risks to be a P.

    Try to look at it as a whole.
     
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  7. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    it depends for me. when i'm with closer friends, I will seem like an E. I will go crazy, talk a lot, generally do what an E does. but still, few of them would truely know me. at the same time, I can only go "E" for a limited time. I will get very tired very quickly when I do that. anyway, it also depends on situations.
     
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  8. IndigoSensor

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    Given the right scenario, I will appear to be the most extroverted person in the room. However, this is a rare occurance. I can't explain the nature of it, but it just seems like I end up appearing extroverted in situations where others are very unconfortable. Despite all of this though, I am definitely an introvert.
     
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  9. Lurker

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    Loud, talkative, energetic etc are not indicators of extroversion just as reclusive isn't an indicator of introverted. What energises you is. Common use of the word introversion and extroversion in that way causes much confusion when people convert it to MBTI, the best thing to do it forget about that.

    If you find yourself more energised when you are around people or getting some kind of external stimuli then you're probably an extrovert, if you are energised when you are on your own, you're prolly an introvert.

    As much as comparing yourself to other people in terms of type can tell you a lot, there are some things, such as shyness, that have less to do with type and more to do with environment.
     
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  10. IndigoSensor

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    Just as lurker said, this is exactly why I will only appear to be E. I am regenerated by alone time, so I am an I type.
     
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  11. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

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    INFJs have Fe (extroverted feeling) as our Judging function. This means that our reasoning and feelings are based on others and our surroundings. It is not at all uncommon for us to seem extroverted, gregarious, and social. However, what makes us INFJs is the fact that we are dominantly Ni (introverted intuition), and therefore rely more upon it than Fe. Of course, no one is going to see that part of us, because it is both intuitive and introverted. Others are only going to see our extroverted function, which is Feeling. Even though it is our secondary function, that's pretty much all that others are going to see.

    I've had this internal debate for quite sometime now, constantly wondering if I'm an ENFJ. I'm not, and from what I can see in your writing, neither are you. ENFJs tend not to be the most eloquent writers, and are generally not interested in anything 'brainy' like posting on internet forums. They're generally too busy using their Fe with their massive real life social networks.

    The fact that we're constantly striving for refining, correcting, and perfectionism is one of the things that make us INFJs. This is what happens when Ti (intorverted thinking) supports Fe, which supports Ni. Honestly, from what I have seen, you're being a very typical INFJ by trying to make sure, because it is our less developed functions functions that are causing the confusion. If we break it down from least developed function to most developed function, the progression is clear.

    Se - Extroverted Sensing needs to know how things really are.
    Ti - Introverted Thinking needs to know how it works.
    Fe - Extroverted Feeling needs to know what is right.
    Ni - Introverted Intuition seeks the one most accurate truth.

    All of these things lead us to second guess our INFJ-ness. I don't know many of us who haven't from time to time.

    Additionally...

    If you have a well developed Ni and Fe, then you're going to score low on the Introvert and Judging axis. That's a natural byproduct of these two functions working in tandem. The low I score comes from the extroverted influence of Fe. The low J score comes from the fact that our dominant function is actually a Perception function.

    If you take a look at any of the posted results from INFJs in the online tests section, you'll see a very clear pattern that the more developed we are, the closer and closer to balanced our I and J scores become, while younger INFJs tend to have much more polarized I and J scores. That's perfectly normal.
     
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    #11 VH, Sep 22, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2009
  12. Gaze

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    Great explanation.
     
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  13. Wyote

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    I feel like an extrovert, especially around good company and I suppose I appear like one as well. My friends don't view me as an introvert. What Von Hase said is true, as usual.
     
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  14. OP
    Mystic7

    Mystic7 Regular Poster

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    Yeah, this is true. It's not like even if I am acting extroverted and being social in a group activity, it's not like any of them really know me.
     
  15. OP
    Mystic7

    Mystic7 Regular Poster

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    INFP

    I don't think I'm INFP... they sound more dreamy and fluffy?? than I am... I do so many things that are J. lol.
     
  16. OP
    Mystic7

    Mystic7 Regular Poster

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    Thanks for the explanation

    Yeah, I have known one ENFJ that fit the ENFJ profile and he & I were a lot different. Like you said, he didn't do anything 'brainy' or on computers... If he needed something on computers to get done, he would delegate and get someone else to do it. He was the leader of a large group of different types of people and somehow managed to hold it all together, while also taking the time to care about and interact with each person individually at the same time. :)

    I didn't know about the thing of 'if N and F are strong I & J will be more balanced'. I haven't gotten too much into the Se/Ti/Fe/Ni specific breakdown as of yet. Interesting.
     
  17. OP
    Mystic7

    Mystic7 Regular Poster

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    Recharging/what energizes me

    Yeah, I think I can see how I would be classified as an introvert. For one example, in the past few weeks I was doing a lot of socializing, 4 or 5 times a week, spending 4-24 hrs in the company of other people, and after one point I could start to feel a need to kind of recluse a little bit, and I'm taking it easier on the socializing this week, and enjoying the time by myself.

    I guess it probably is that since I live & work alone, I am generally fairly recharged on a daily basis, so I'm more interested in going out & being social.

    I don't really have a 'need' to be in a group, but I do have a need to be social and to be with people, at least 2-3 times a week. More than 4x a week is pushing it, I think. And once a week or less is not enough.

    I don't tend to feel drained after a social activity, but I do like to have a day to myself in between social activities, especially if they will be sustained throughout the week.
     
  18. laurie

    laurie Snowblind in Dreamland

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    What if you don't get energised at all? XD

    I find that I'm more outgoing now than I used to be, but i still get my 'energy' from being alone or in a quiet family environment. I often get the feeling (what with seeing friends everyday at college) that I want to just be alone for a while.

    But I used to be really confused about the definitions of extroversion and introversion too >> those should be replaced by 'withdrawn' and 'outgoing' sometimes....

    (Ugh, sorry, lame post. I'm tired ;.; )
     
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  19. xizzax

    xizzax Community Member

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    wow, mystic7 i DEFINTELY can relate to you, and Von Hase has basically summed up my seemingly 'eternal' confusion.

    Anyways, I've had the I/E problem before and it really has seemed to become increasingly so. I enjoy the company of others, yet do not need external stimili to run on whereas, I'm assuming extroverts do? You've explained this in your own experience. I can't cut myself off from my social contacts, and need to be around them at least 3/4 times a week.

    As for being with myself, I LOVE it though it's not a necessity. (However, being in constant social company -is- draining. )

    I think that what really cleared everything up for myself was...
    wow, sorry for talking about myself so much, but the point was to show you that you're probably an INFJ.

    Unless, I'm not one then....:m187:
     
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    #19 xizzax, Sep 22, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2009
  20. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    I doubt I'm an extrovert, but it's still too early to tell. I tend to be energized by being around others. I am, however, alone quite a bit, so I think this is just my need for some interaction with people. I have a desire/need to share/experience personal and meaningful connection with people. I don't know if that's an indication of being introverted or just fulfilled as a person. I have been incredibly shy most of my life, and took a while to feel comfortable and adept communicating and interacting with people, so my take on my I/E is still fuzzy.
     
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