It's absurd because I'm mute yet giving myself a headache most of the time, conspiring that no one wants to talk to me!
:lock1:
I've never been the one to do most of the talking in real life conversations so the internal dialogue compensates. The more I am divorced from reality, the less lonely I delude myself into being. Being my own best friend both escapes and reinforces social anxiety.
If I'm talking out loud to myself that'd be a monologue, which takes quite a bit of effort. Sometimes I practice when I'm alone.
I'm thinking of making youtubes to practice but I can't be bothered...