Do you like it when someone takes care of you?
- Thread starter Gaze
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Same here, I'm usually the one who takes care of other's. Would be nice to know what it's like to be fussed over.
I voted that I like to do the pampering. Don't get me wrong, I love foot and back massages along with every other manor of comfort when I've had a rough day or sick and need a lil help. Thing is I enjoy giving foot and back massages just as much as I enjoy receiving them, and if someone is feeling like hammered hell...well they're just gonna relax till they feel better. I don't like to see people hurting or under the weather and I'll go out of my way to make sure they're at least comfortable while they are recovering.
- Aug 9, 2009
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Why? Are you among the crowd who believes that receiving is a manner of taking advantage of someone's kindness, and that receiving care is only allowed once one has become desperate, in order for it to be deserved?
I think it's nice to be able to allow others to help you out, since many people - like INFJ's - get happiness and satisfaction from doing so. Always denying it of them or being upset by it does the exact opposite, and garners resentment as well as your own loneliness. I can understand why people would jump to the thought that being taken care of equals taking advantage of another's helpfulness when we are always taught to just toughen up and do everything on your own, but this is harmful to yourself, and you have to be sucking out a lot of help form someone to really get to the point of taking advantage of them. In a community, everyone helps and takes care of the other, as in a relationship. If one side gets all awkward about it, it just mucks up the works and suddenly no one can be happy.
I don't like it much. It's nice knowing people care, of course. But when they take it too far, it can feel suffocating, uncomfortable and annoying, and like they think you're incapable of take care of yourself or something. And sometimes you wonder if it's genuine...hmmm. If you're sick, that would be a different story. But if you're perfectly fine and people are all up in your space and being toooo nice, I don't like it.
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Well, not exactly (in regards to being of that camp). I think that if someone is freely giving of it, and I'm not asking for it, then it's not taking advantage. However, I've been in a couple of rather memorable situations in which there was an expectation of reciprocity.
I suppose for me it just feels a little awkward, probably because it's not something I particularly enjoy doing. Usually the people who I would be upset by their doing it I'd rather not have them attach to me anyway. I'd like to be accepting of everyone's kindness, but it kinda grates on me over time. What you are painting with your description, I really don't want, but I have to reinforce my boundaries somehow, and more than just a little pampering bothers me at a rather deep emotional level.
I guess the bottom line is that some people feel like such pampering and gift-giving is a path to emotional closeness, whereas I don't feel that way.
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Ah okay. Personal awkwardness I can get. Though I've run across people who thought it was somehow morally reprehensible to be pampered or taken care of. It's mostly a feminist/machoist sentiment, when I've encountered it though, being that taking help or receiving caring is some duel sin of being both weak and spoiled. Or that the fact that you want it is the true sin. You can only receive it as long as you protest long and hard and refuse until forced to receive it.
Not at the time... that comes later. You would be surprised how many manipulative, or doting type of people there are out there.
Last year I had a string of kindly people who would do all kind of favours for me, but when I would insist that I was fine and didn't need anything they would get all offended and frustrated that I wouldn't let them pamper me.
It just seems so weird to me, because I'll pamper others to make them feel better, not to make myself feel better.
On the other hand I've had a couple of people do unusually kind things for me, only to be asked for some unreasonable favour within a couple of days.
I'm getting so cynical since I turned 30.
I love being pampered, and am glad to be with someone who loves pampering me. I do want to give something back though. I never feel I do enough
Emotionally. But there's also a high chance of me kicking them aside for "I can do it alone, thanks for your concern."
Physically / Literally? Unless I'm incapable of doing so (like, say, fixing machines), I won't like it. I will feel like being babied / considered incompetent, and.. No. Just no.
So in short? I like being taken care of, but I hate being taken care of. I guess I'm one of those people Dove had said;
I guess for me, being pampered is more like, "...I need to be helped? Over this? .....:<"
A little happy, but totally awkward and going to clam all over. Not due to shyness, but...see above.
Emotionally, the feeling seems nice enough to try a little taste of. Like, pampering me emotionally? I'd be embarrassed and all awkward, but inside will be AWWWWWW. (high Fi here; I don't think it's a good thing.)
Ignorance and taking things for granted is too little. Babying, being oppressive, and being pampered with an equivalent of a gilded cage is too much.
Strange one for me. My sister tends to make a fuss over me because she's not sure I can handle certain things. This is nice in the way it means she cares, but also not so great when I want to help out by carrying a bag of shopping and she thinks I'll pull a muscle (to be fair to her, it's happened three times). Recently, she's gotten a lot better, which is nice and now we're kind of equal.
Yeah, I guess I like equality in all aspects of life
Yeah, I guess I like equality in all aspects of life
When someone does too much for me, it tends to lead to feelings of doubt and incompetence. Not that i won't appreciate the effort someone makes to show their care or concern, but sometimes it's just too much. Love shouldn't stifle; you should still be able to breathe. Can really learn to do things for yourself if everyone keeps jumping in to fix things or do everything for you.
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Yes. For example my grandparents buy all of my food, pay for my gas, and are paying for my college plus books. I enjoy that.
If I didn't have my grandparents to take care of my needs I would be working a shitload of jobs and would not be in college.
If I didn't have my grandparents to take care of my needs I would be working a shitload of jobs and would not be in college.
If it is someone I care about, I like giving just as much as I like receiving. I don't have a problem with being taken care of, as long as I get to return the favor.
I think I would feel bad if my partner didn't like my complements or wouldn't let me pamper them once in a while.
The way I see it, there is plenty of work to be done in life, if someone is willing to give a hand, then why not figure out what to do next, or join in by offering a helping hand back.
I think I would feel bad if my partner didn't like my complements or wouldn't let me pamper them once in a while.
The way I see it, there is plenty of work to be done in life, if someone is willing to give a hand, then why not figure out what to do next, or join in by offering a helping hand back.
//casts a spell where everybody appears in a circular tent filled with lavish large pillows, luxuriant foods, incense, music, awesome calming atmosphere and bellydancers where we can all chill out and not feel bad about being spoiled.
This^^^. Thing is, caring is not really a chore or a responsibility if i care or love someone. I'm automatically going to show interest, caring, and attention because of how i feel. Not saying we won't have to learn to manage the relationships, but i don't see myself struggling to show i care about or for them. But it's how much someone would want done for me that makes me uncomfortable. Not entirely sure why.
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