Do you like it when someone takes care of you? | INFJ Forum

Do you like it when someone takes care of you?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Aug 7, 2010.

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  1. YES! Pamper me . . . :D

    22.5%
  2. Sometimes - When sick or on special occasions

    25.0%
  3. Just a little bit

    17.5%
  4. Nah, i'm good

    20.0%
  5. I'd rather do the pampering . . . thank you very much ;)

    10.0%
  6. Hell no! . . .

    5.0%
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  1. Gaze

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    Do you like it when someone takes care of you?




    How do you feel when someone fusses over you?


    Do you like to be pampered?


    How much is too much or how much is too little?
     
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    #1 Gaze, Aug 7, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2010
  2. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    i really don't like it, it makes me feel uncomfortable and like i'm overburdening them. i like that people would want to fuss over me though, that's sweet ;)
     
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  3. OP
    Gaze

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    poll added
     
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  4. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    No, I feel really awkward and uncomfortable actually. I feel useless and like I'm being a burden. That's why one of my greatest fears is to be handicapped, I'd prefer death.


    I honestly feel good when people are fussing over me, but I don't overtly show that :D. I just tell them "stop being ridiculous"


    Rarely, but it feels nice from time to time.


    When the person is being so accommodating, and being too overly caring. You actually begin to notice when it's too much.
     
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    #4 AUM, Aug 7, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2010
  5. OP
    Gaze

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    LD, i edited that question. It pretty much means the same thing as fussing.
     
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  6. ~jet

    ~jet Director of Space Exploration

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    I can't answer since I've never experienced it
     
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  7. KazeCraven

    KazeCraven Graduated from Typology : May 2011
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    No, not really. I like being close to people I like, but I prefer situations in which it is clear that there is mutual benefit.

    When someone does too much for me, I get the sense that they want something like that in return, and that can be a little irritating, especially if I didn't like the person in the first place. Hmmm, actually I would have to say that I don't like that to be done unless it is by someone who I am already close to. And even then, I only like it if it is done out of a desire to show affection. When someone starts doing it because they feel like they ought to or because it is their duty, then I have a problem with it.
     
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  8. OP
    Gaze

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    Very similar. I begin to feel obligated when someone does too much. I had too much of it growing up and it became uncomfortable after a while. I was a little spoilt because of it and it made me feel a little self conscious - too much attention. A little bit is good but not too much or else i find myself beginning to expect it which isn't fair to the other person.
     
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  9. OP
    Gaze

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    Is is something you regret or do you think it worked out in the end?
     
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  10. ~jet

    ~jet Director of Space Exploration

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    Not sure what you mean; I 'imagine' that I would probably not be very comfortable with being taken care of, and have always managed to take care of myself pretty well. In relationships though, I just don't think it ever happened. Maybe that has something to do with why they didn't last. *shrug* (rather, I'm unintentionally keeping them at a distance?)
     
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  11. OP
    Gaze

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    You didn't say why, so i'm was asking just to be curious.

    Ok
     
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    Do you like it when someone takes care of you?
    yes, I appreciate the effort.


    How do you feel when someone fusses over you?
    I don't like fusses in general.

    Do you like to be pampered?
    Of course.


    Sure, I don't like being treated like a china doll, but I certainly don't mind when people help me out.
     
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    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    I like it at the time, but it always comes with too much personal baggage, either from myself or from the pamperer.

    A little pampering is ok, but I'm best let alone.
     
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  14. 894tt3h9

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    Do you like it when someone takes care of you?
    If I'm not feeling well or I need help with something, then yes. But otherwise I take care of myself


    How do you feel when someone fusses over you?
    I don't mind it I guess. Though I prefer being left alone.


    Do you like to be pampered?
    Hmm... Yes I do. But I don't expect or demand it. And I don't take it for granted if someone whats to do that for me. I also like to return the favour. I like balance.


    How much is too much or how much is too little?
    If the pampering and care taking is mutual and each of us takes care of and pampers the other from time to time, then there's nothing wrong with that. It depends on the person and the context I suppose.
     
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  15. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    Yes, actually. Though only by certain people. Being pampered by parents feels so wrong to me, I'm an adult and I need to have a rough life now to be stronger.
    If its someone else I kinda crave it, cause I'll admit I am care-deprived.
    If I'm sick or pregnant or badly injured then I don't feel bad about allowing it, and I will likely desire it and need it. Otherwise, a little is fun but then I start to get annoyed, unless its from the opposite sex cause then its cuteness lifespan is well-extended.
    Like the above, I do need it sometimes. I tend to get sick a lot [suffer from bad sleep deprivation especially] and not be able to take care of myself.
    Too little is being stressed out or tired or sick and knowing you're not going to get any, to the point of bleak acceptance of it.
    Too much is when I'm not even allowed to lift a finger for my own enjoyment because someone is rushing to do it for me. This is how I lived my first 2 years, apparently. I was the baby in the family and had 2 older sisters, so I didn't even learn how to walk and talk till I was 2 years old. I was always being carried or tended to so much I never needed to grow. Something about me being "The ultimate distraction" I was told. If the family was stressed I'd be the focus to distract them from it.
     
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    If you want to know what I really like in regards to the jist of this thread I'll tell you. Mutual care and attention are the best. Too much by either you or the other person is unsatisfying and annoying for different reasons. Care and show enough affection to let each other know how you feel. Don't smother or annoy. We all have our own limits on these things. It's really about finding and respecting those.
     
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  17. Lumi Spitsbergen

    Lumi Spitsbergen Community Member

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    Do you like it when someone takes care of you?
    To an extent, yes. I love it when people want to take care of me... I just often have a difficult time letting them.

    How do you feel when someone fusses over you?

    Loved or Irritated depending on the circumstance.

    Do you like to be pampered?
    Ummm...sure? I'm not really sure what this question entails.

    How much is too much or how much is too little?
    I like it when another person cares about my well being, but can back off and trust me to take care of myself. When I need help, I love it. When I don't, I still appreciate the offer.
    ...sometimes, though, people "taking care" of me makes me feel absolutely smothered.
    For instance, as a fairly smallish female I often engender "protective instincts" in others - both male and female. This usually just makes me uncomfortable, like the other person cannot trust me to take care of myself in an adult manner (despite the previous evidence of my capabilities).
    I honestly can't stand it anymore when people act like I'm some sort of delicate creature who can't look out for herself.
    I have never been that sort of girl, and I sure as hell won't start to be just because it suits the people around me.
    I resent it when people try to tell me what is and isn't "safe" based on some sort of arbitrary rule where they get to treat me like a child just because I'm a sort of smallish adult. I'm not even that small, I'm 5'2" for christsakes! I feel like if I were a midget - sorry little person - people wouldn't dare give me this much grief. >.<
    What's funny is that most of these people, if they end up traveling with me, need me to take care of them. Or they are surprised that I am, in many ways, tougher than they are.
    Sorry - didn't mean to rant. This is actually relevent to something that just happened in my life recently.
     
  18. Lumi Spitsbergen

    Lumi Spitsbergen Community Member

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    Do you feel like the person who is pampering you is doing so with expectation of future reward then?
     
  19. momof3

    momof3 Four

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    I only like being pampered by hospital employees or my husband. You have to be my very immediate family (or maybe an extremely close friend on occasion) to really pamper me. And at that point, (i gotta tell ya) I feel it my due. I spend a lot of energy helping others, which I love to do, but I definitely feel its ok to receive a little help in return when needed (a.k.a. sick, exhausted). If it comes from someone I know will never hold it over me in any way, shape, or form then I feel perfectly comfortable with it. My husband is probably THE best go-to person when I want to be pampered. I have to tell you, I actually love being in the hospital, too.
     
  20. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    Do you like it when someone takes care of you?
    No. It usually makes me feel really awkward. If something is being done, I want to be helping get it done. Even when it's something small it irks me for some reason. My grandparents had me over for lunch on my birthday and my grandma refused to let me help do dishes. It just about drove me insane!
    How do you feel when someone fusses over you?
    I makes me really uncomfortable. I had a girlfriend once in high school who made me soup when I was really sick. That's about the extent of "fussing" I can handle. I appreciated the thought of it, and it was pretty much an "awwwww" moment. Otherwise when people fuss over me, like when I had surgery last summer, it makes me feel somehow inadequate. I know people are doing it to be nice, but I really can take care of myself thank you. My knee is all messed up and I want my book from upstairs? I'll crawl up the stairs backwards before I ask someone else to get it.

    Thinking about it, I'm probably going to get myself killed when I'm old and elderly.
    Do you like to be pampered?
    Nope.
    How much is too much or how much is too little?
    Anything outside of a simple thought or action is too much.
     
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    #20 bamf, Aug 7, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2010
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