Do people seem to like you for you or who they think you are?
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
A lot of the time I probably subconsciously behave in an unlovable manner to let only those who are perceptive enough see through my outer-layered defense and get to know the real me.
People who don't like me will never be able to get close enough to me to get to know the real me, so it does not matter whether they like me or not.
People who are close to me but do not appreciate me I would regard them as unworthy and keep them out from my inner circle...they then become the first group of people.
I am an object of Newton's Third Law...I reject anything that rejects me.
:rain:
People who don't like me will never be able to get close enough to me to get to know the real me, so it does not matter whether they like me or not.
People who are close to me but do not appreciate me I would regard them as unworthy and keep them out from my inner circle...they then become the first group of people.
I am an object of Newton's Third Law...I reject anything that rejects me.
:rain:
I voted 20% me, 80% who they think I am. Most of the people I meet in real life seem to like me until all of my walls start coming down, and they learn about my thoughts, my actions, and my past. The few that stick around usually have been my friends for years, and have seen many different aspects of me. I hardly ever make and keep new friends/acquaintances.
Depends on the person perceiving me and the assumptions they are making. I always stay real whether it is liked or not.
40% me, 60% who they think i am.
People usually don't see the negative side of me, I would rather they didn't know about it.
But I try to be as honest as I can and open to those that really want to know me and that are willing to accept me.
People usually don't see the negative side of me, I would rather they didn't know about it.
But I try to be as honest as I can and open to those that really want to know me and that are willing to accept me.
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this is tripping me out! what if the whole concept of a true me is illusory in the same way? this thread is making me feel like so uncomfortable right now!
I voted 100% who they THINK I am.
People like me for how good I make them feel about themselves.
No one knows all of me....Heck - I don't even know all of me... Where is that shadow side of me today anyway? That sneaky devil girl in me comes up at the most awkward times!!!
Hahahaha.
People like me for how good I make them feel about themselves.
No one knows all of me....Heck - I don't even know all of me... Where is that shadow side of me today anyway? That sneaky devil girl in me comes up at the most awkward times!!!
Hahahaha.
Pretty much the same for me, but mostly the bolded.
Also, people are usually telling me they like qualities about me that don't even exist. Like 'smart and logical.' They assume I have intellegence in every academic area, when really that's not the case at all. I also don't think logically a lot of the time, and people usually tend to ignore my more abstract thoughts. They also still think that I'm far more outgoing than I actually am, probably because I'm so interested in other people and like to give advice. Most of the time though, people think I'm boring and don't know how to have a good time.
There's a concept in Buddhism called "Anatta", which argues that any concept of a "true you" that acts as a constant is illusory. The idea being that there is no fixed point within us that is the "real us", because who we are is ever-flowing, ever-changing. Who we are now is not who we were when we were children, or who we were a year ago, or even who we were a few seconds ago.
People VERY rarely get to a deeper level with me. This is either because I keep them at arms length (usually the case) or because they don't truly care to know me. In any case, people tend to make assumptions about me and even idealize me in their mind. =/ I've seen this happen more in people who want to become romantically involved with me. I am liked for how I make someone feel, and not so much who I am. =/
As for people in general, well truth be told no one can really speak for anyone else... I'm just making general assumptions, and you know what is said about people who assume things? =)
Anyway, although I feel like I am an open book to anyone who takes the time to read it, I also don't just offer up all of the information right away. This book needs to be checked out of the library first.
So not many people are ever going to get to know me 100 % and so far from the evidence I've gathered, not many people truly want to.
As for people in general, well truth be told no one can really speak for anyone else... I'm just making general assumptions, and you know what is said about people who assume things? =)
Anyway, although I feel like I am an open book to anyone who takes the time to read it, I also don't just offer up all of the information right away. This book needs to be checked out of the library first.
So not many people are ever going to get to know me 100 % and so far from the evidence I've gathered, not many people truly want to.
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Indeed we all change as we become older and experince differen't things but there is that part of us that really makes us who we are. That part in you that more times or not will make the decisions as you get older and get to those points and have to make a choice. I mean I am really different know on the outside from when I was 16 but inside, much of the same thought process is there. There are different issues to be addressed but my standards won't be changed to solve them. So yeah you can't know people fully on the outside because that part of people changes all the time but at a deeper level, the change is very little.
That is what I think the OP is asking, not that side of us that we change all the time depending on who we are with and where we are.
People VERY rarely get to a deeper level with me. This is either because I keep them at arms length (usually the case) or because they don't truly care to know me. In any case, people tend to make assumptions about me and even idealize me in their mind. =/ I've seen this happen more in people who want to become romantically involved with me. I am liked for how I make someone feel, and not so much who I am. =/
As for people in general, well truth be told no one can really speak for anyone else... I'm just making general assumptions, and you know what is said about people who assume things? =)
Anyway, although I feel like I am an open book to anyone who takes the time to read it, I also don't just offer up all of the information right away. This book needs to be checked out of the library first.
Bravo!!! That also describes me perfectly when it comes to a lot of my friendships.
How can people be aware of who you are outside of their perception of you? They can't. They aren't inside your mind.
Everyone can, at best, like their own mental representation of you. Because that representation is all they can be aware of.
No matter how much they try to observe and mold that perception in order to understand you, it will never quite be "you" that they see.
Thinking that a person can know you well enough to like you for who you really are is wishful thinking. It just isn't possible. What really happens is that the person is similar enough to yourself in some important way that it feels like they understand you. Without that core similarity, they can't even get a somewhat clear idea of who you are, much less like it.
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Thats really sad you two. I've always found that my closest friends are the one's who've seen my nasty side. The mean, the crazy, the threatening to kill him if he doesn't stop slacking off (my friend at work XD). We get along the best out of all my friends really, we've got the most comfortable friendship cause we know the other's bad side pretty thoroughly. This is actually why I was downright shocked when Chazzy and I became close friends then started a relationship, cause he'd seen me at my very worst, with a dose of other people dragging their dramas with me past him in full view. He loves me even more though cause he really knows me, I think.
So hold on, don't believe you are ever so bad or have a personality no one will accept.
As a few have mentioned before, most people like how I make them feel rather than who I actually am. That being said, I don't really put a lot of my true self out there. I make observations and share thoughts but I don't really communicate any actual feelings and am slow to share my experiences or what is going on with me.
I think people see me more as their therapist rather than a friend. I think they believe it's friendship, but it's very unbalanced. I prefer it this way most of the time.
I am VERY much Gemini, so who I am and what I think or feel can flip like a switch. I don't feel that anyone in my life truly knows who I am. I like to just remain a mystery.
I think people see me more as their therapist rather than a friend. I think they believe it's friendship, but it's very unbalanced. I prefer it this way most of the time.
I am VERY much Gemini, so who I am and what I think or feel can flip like a switch. I don't feel that anyone in my life truly knows who I am. I like to just remain a mystery.
People like me for who I am and who they think I am, since they usually only see about half of me. In other words, I'm not "fake" to people, but I am usually more than what they assume me to be, and they often don't know how to handle that.