Do people seem to like you for you or who they think you are?
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
People tend to like me more when they get to know me. Strange and quiet is usually the first impression.
As for liking me for who they think I am as opposed to myself, I can't really answer that.
As for liking me for who they think I am as opposed to myself, I can't really answer that.
People in the past had told me ''be yourself'', ''you don't have to change for me'' yet I noticed whenever I act myself, I am ignored. People think my ideas are boring,not interesting. I really do not want to change myself, though I only show people certain limited aspects of my personality for this very reason. I only show my ''nice, caring side'' which tends to be abused quite often by others. Others see me as naive, but in reality this is just one of the masks I put up to not tell them that I really do know what's going on.
this is tough, since for example at work I am very restricted in how I act, mostly because I am very uncomfortable there, so most people don't like me so much or are neutral. Outside however, I am either rageful (online mostly) quite but nice, or fun and crazy, but how can I know which part is drawing people to me, especially since I don't know who's reading which posts of mine.
If its people I know who like me, I'd say its mostly how I actually am, as I don't know who likes me lest I like them enough to care, and if I've gotten far enough to like them, they usually have to like me.
Tough...
If its people I know who like me, I'd say its mostly how I actually am, as I don't know who likes me lest I like them enough to care, and if I've gotten far enough to like them, they usually have to like me.
Tough...
A lot of people tend to dislike me before they know me, mainly because of appearances and the fact that in the past I had a bit of a reputation for being stuck up, but once they get to know me better, they take a liking to me, but as walls start coming down, a lot of people can't handle the depth of how much I have gone through in the past, and will just leave. Either that, or they can't grasp the fact that I like to have my alone/quiet time to meditate, and dismiss me as boring. A few people, however have liked me more and more as they got to know me better, and those are my closest friends
100% who they think I am.
That doesn't mean they can't be completely right. I'm not doing anything to make people percieve me in a way that would lead them to think I'm anything different than what I am, but perople still judge based on their own perceptions...
Whether their perceptions bring them to the truth or not is usually not my problem.
That doesn't mean they can't be completely right. I'm not doing anything to make people percieve me in a way that would lead them to think I'm anything different than what I am, but perople still judge based on their own perceptions...
Whether their perceptions bring them to the truth or not is usually not my problem.
Same with me.
A lot of times I find people registering surprise, when I FINALLY open up to them,if they haven't given up and written me off as aloof and stuck up, that I really am a very nice person! So generally I would say people like me 100% for who I really am.I think the more pertinent question, at least for me, would be "Do people DISlike you for who you are, or who they think you are?" In this case, I would say probably 80% of people who dislike me do so because they really don't know me. 20% of people who dislike me do know me and don't like me. That doesn't include people who are neutral, though.
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Yup, I'd say the same with me. Heh, but I kinda don't want to give people the chance to know me so meh.
/\ This.
The limitations of human perception mean that none of us can ever know who another truly is (to do that we would have to be them), we can only know who we think they are, based on the model of them we've built in our heads.
I can relate to this , especially the text I highlighted. Except the side I exhibit depends on the various circumstances. For example in the past, I think that sometimes I may have only shown people the "student" side of me. Sometimes I guess I was sort of ridiculous with regards to that. For example, since I am asexual I had what some would call "anomalies" in how I interacted with people. This sometimes prompted some students to ask me questions such as, "So you never want to get married?"; I am a very private person so I told them that was a rather personal question. Had they asked me a question regarding school work I would have most likely answered them. If someone got closer to me though I tended to show more of my personality but still remained a rather private person.
Of late though I have been being a bit more open with some people. But even then I suppose it depends on the individual. If someone seems really nice though I do show more of myself to them. For example the last two acquaintances I made seemed really nice and even though I knew them for only about two weeks I shared more of myself with them than I did with some people that I have known for years.
As I see it, if I only show the "prickly" side of me- I am referring to the Alan Watts video in the "Famous INFJ Personalities" sub forum- then I am going to constantly miss out on forging long term friendships.
I also at the same time believe that given the nature of human perception, that I doubt anyone would be able to see us entirely for who we are. If they like us or dislike us they do so based on their perception of us- however accurate that perception may be
This is a hard question. I said %60 me and %40 person who they think I am. People who don't know me on deep level, so like other students, co-workers, not close friends, etc.. like me for who they think I am. People who are close to me like me for who I am and don't really like the other side of me that everybody else knows. I am very serious, very stoic, and not talkitive when meeting people for the first time unless I am intersted in meeting them so that part can drive people away.
