Brain stuck. Can't decide.

[Matariki]

Ok, what the hell should I be doing with my life?
My mother (EXFJ) wants me to be a chef and my father (INTP) wants me to be a detective.
I know I could do well in either profession but thats not where my passions are. I want to be a film director, however there are no job opportunities here in New Zealand at the moment. New Zealand is broke. If I take a leap of faith and jump straight into art school I could potentially end up in debt and stuck in the country trying to pay off my funds.

I also have a confession to make, I hate school and I'm academically retarded. I've never done well in school, hell I failed primary school (elementary school) and had to teach myself during my teens, and I was only interested in the arts, food science and philosophy. Because of this I also failed art school, not because I couldn't do the work but because I wasn't used to the amount of work that I had to complete within the time period given. I tend to be slow and methodical when it comes to study. I like to do things properly.

They say slow and steady wins the race, but not in my case. I feel like a dumb-ass for failing school (three times in a row) and its something that I am extremely insecure about. The concept of school makes me shake in my boots.

My father doesn't really think me going to university would be ideal because I'm not academic. At all.
Its a shame that most things these days require a piece of paper, and one that I can't seem to get. My mother says that its a waste of money for me.

I dunno, am I really that retarded?

 

[Griffin]

General institutionalized education definitely isn't for everyone, and if your posts here are any indication whatsoever, you are smarter than the vast majority of my GPA-whoring peers at university right now. The educational system only rewards certain facets of knowledge and certain skillsets, and lets some really good skills go unrecognized and undeveloped because of how standardized it is.

As for career choices, I'm afraid I don't know enough to help you make a really solid decision, but I've always been told that what you love becomes something you just like as a career, and something you dislike becomes something you loathe as a career. I wish I could be more helpful here :[

 

[Lurker]

Your parents will not be living your life, take in their advice then make your own decision. Dropping out of art school isn't something that can't be recovered from, although it is ideal to intend to finish what you start in terms of study.

Keep in mind that school as a kid up to graduation is usually vastly different from chosen schooling after that. Go along to open days and get a feel for it, if you have passion for something there is a good chance you will succeed at it.

 

[Tamagochi]

It's very useful to have a backup career. Therefore in your situation I would suggest to follow your heart's passion - become a film director And during your free time pick up a job with food industry. That way you will become proficient in two areas and be able to pay the bills.

No one really knows how the situation will turn up in a few years. And during a lifetime there will be huge fluctuations in every industry. A person who has the passion will better endure the hard times and excel when the opportunity comes.

 

[donkeybals]

Do what makes sense. You need to stand on your own two feet before you follow your passion. I followed my passion and dug myself a hole. And I tried to get out if it by digging deeper. I got pretty far while digging. But I had to climb out of it eventually. I'm out of it now and when I go back down there I always bring a rope. You need to implement logic. It's cool to follow your dreams, but be prepared for the possibility of it getting you nowhere. It's a dice roll. It was a cold dose of reality, wouldn't change it for the world, but also wouldn't recommend it.

 

[gps]

Ok, what the hell should I be doing with my life?

[MENTION=1815]Matariki[/MENTION],

Well, you've just demonstrated a capacity for Shouldism, so just jump into one of the J occupations dominated by Shouldists and you can bypass all those roles, activites, and pre-occupations requiring Couldism or/and Is-ism. ;-)

My mother (EXFJ) wants me to be a chef and my father (INTP) wants me to be a detective.

Have you tried merely `being' human?
In the absence of that, have you discovered who you `are' and taken up the fine art of `being yourself'?

I know I could do well in either profession but that's not where my passions are.
I want to be a film director, however there are no job opportunities here in New Zealand at the moment.

You may have too narrow a view of `film' directing.
If you used a computer to compose this post then you have the actors and locations at your disposal IF you could condescend to `direct' a stop-action animation `film'.
You can also write while you are awaiting funds and opportunities to boss humans around.
Here's something I've recommended to my friends for composing scripts of many sorts.

New Zealand is broke.

As broke as your imagination? ;-)
Come on! Get brain storming!

If I take a leap of faith and jump straight into art school I could potentially end up in debt and stuck in the country trying to pay off my funds.

Yep. Many gamble and jump out of the school of hard knocks and into an institution requiring remuneration on speculation that their class mates won't both have the same degree AND connections with employers on graduation day.

I also have a confession to make, I hate school and I'm academically retarded.

Me too.
Fortunately I already have a few college degrees and without the academic constraints the retarded/arrested state is left behind in academia.

I've never done well in school, hell I failed primary school (elementary school) and had to teach myself during my teens, and I was only interested in the arts, food science and philosophy.

`Food for thought', a new film written, directed, and produced by ______________
A philosophical approach by a budding food scientist cum stop-action film director and autodidact in training ... to life and living on the fault line of liminality which is the cusp between childhood and the mental retardation which is adulthood. A thought provoking film. You'll relish it!

Because of this I also failed art school, not because I couldn't do the work but because I wasn't used to the amount of work that I had to complete within the time period given.

Perhaps it's time for a stop motion re-make of `Modern Times'.
You can re-present the factory boss of Chaplin's version as an Academic Task Master ... enslaving his artsy minions to produce `Fine Art' on a fixed budget of time.?

I tend to be slow and methodical when it comes to study.
I like to do things properly.

Well ... there's always room for you in the sex trade if you can't prostitute your talents on the Procrustean Beds of the`art' world ;-)

They say slow and steady wins the race, but not in my case.

As if `the race' were over for you and you could look back with 20-20 hind sight?
Surely, you jest.

I feel like a dumb-ass for failing school (three times in a row) and its something that I am extremely insecure about.
The concept of school makes me shake in my boots.

My father doesn't really think me going to university would be ideal because I'm not academic.
At all.

Its a shame that most things these days require a piece of paper, and one that I can't seem to get.

Damned good thing it's only `MOST THINGS" these days, eh?

My mother says that its a waste of money for me.

I dunno, am I really that retarded?

Well, technically, if you're 25 or older -- and your brain has congealed into that of an adult -- then yes, you've undergone arrested development and mental retardation of the processes of childhood and adolescence.
Though you might want to consider the source as I'm probably at least twice your age.
But then again ... what if it takes one to know one? ;-)

 

[shafishstix]

I've found that following a curriculum in my school experiences in the past "a challenge at times". On the one hand they give you a really good overview of the things that you would never have thought of, on the other hand you find yourself asking "Is what im learning really that relevant to my goals? How useful will this be too me, if at all?".

Its probably for that reason i value self education so much, it gives you an opportunity to be an expert on the things you feel is relevant. Its a good gauge to see if you really are interested in an aspiring career in something, because it will challenge how motivated you are (really challenge it). Your absolutely right a piece of paper does seem to go a lot further, for that reason i'd suggest a synergy of informal "then" formal education.

Also if film directing definitely is your passion you may need to travel for it, to find opportunity, to extend experience and get a foot in the door. You would really need to try to get some local experience (be as resourceful as possible at this stage) to build up your credibility. In Australia we have quite a large selection of grants on offer for the local film industry to those who can pitch a really well thought idea for a short film.

So i dont know, maybe at some stage "Sydney or Melbourne" might be potential places where you can further your goal. (Im not sure if you would be able to apply for a grant here in Australia (or in conjunction with Australia/New zealand), but its definitely worth investigating at some point. If you want to follow this path its absolutely necessary to try to get as many ties into the industry as possible.

If you are committed, your potential is there and to a degree fortune is in your favour i think success wouldn't be out of the realms of possibility. I have had formal training in 3d design and digital compositing so i have a reasonable idea with all this. I think you also need to realise that finding opportunity will be competitive, sometimes very competitive and you need to be prepared to face this.

Still despite those realities i hope it doesnt discourage you too much, in fact embrassing these challenges to your upmost potential may give you an edge.

Anyway, good luck with whatever you choose.

 

[the]

Do what you are good at.

 

[Chamomile]

Do you think your commitment to school would be different if you were passionate about what you're studying?

 

[Norton]

[MENTION=1815]Matariki[/MENTION],

Well, you've just demonstrated a capacity for Shouldism, so just jump into one of the J occupations dominated by Shouldists and you can bypass all those roles, activites, and pre-occupations requiring Couldism or/and Is-ism.

Well ... there's always room for you in the sex trade if you can't prostitute your talents on the Procrustean Beds of the`art' world

Harsh and mean do not equal helpful. Show a little compassion.

 

[not sure]

Harsh and mean do not equal helpful. Show a little compassion.

+1

 

[shafishstix]

Yeah i was thinking about this a bit further and thought i should add, if you can find a relevant "mentor" who is willing to help, that will be a huge benefit to you. He/she will have the contacts in the local industry and he/she will have the experience to guide you onto a good path. (Really, Really important).

Its also important to know that people who enter that industry usually work up from much more humble beginings. They get their foot in the door doing much more menial stuff on a film and move upward.

Locally for me i have a place that is like a cental hub for film makers, you can hire equipment, access training and generally "link in" with people of the local film industry. Its called the media resource centre - http://www.mrc.org.au/make-it/crew

If you can find something like that locally for you, that would a great place to try source a potential "mentor" who would provide some useful tidbits. If you are really interested i'd suggest getting in contact with the New Zealand film commission and be upfront about what your after.

(Im actually commencing a bootcamp film with my local media resource centre within 2 weeks, though im interested in creating a film, my real priority is the potential friendships and like minded people i may find there)

 

[whytiger]

You're awfully young to be deciding what you want to do for your entire life. How about deciding what to do right now?

Sometimes people need some time before they become more academically inclined. You may need time to mature and learn what you do best. What about becoming a Muay Thai instructor? That doesn't require a degree does it?

 

[Ria]

Harsh and mean do not equal helpful. Show a little compassion.

+2 (And tact).

 

[shafishstix]

You're awfully young to be deciding what you want to do for your entire life. How about deciding what to do right now?

Yeah thats good advice, rather then making any long term commitments at this point, maybe trying different things out and focusing on having fun would be best for you.

 

[Matariki]

Do you think your commitment to school would be different if you were passionate about what you're studying?

The problem isn't so much me lacking passion, its learning to over come hurdles such as work schedules and of course C-PTSD. Unfortunately my time at school as a child (before I was homeschooled) was an unhappy experience, the one lesson my tutors always wanted to teach me was that I'm a failure. Naturally, I feel uneasy around that sort of authority.

 

[shafishstix]

When you say you have had problems at school, is there anything specific you don't like? You've mentioned work schedule, deadlines and imposing authority.

Do you have problems holding your attention on a subject for long periods of time? Do you feel too rushed to consider material properly? How about your overall goals, do they tend to change? Do you feel strong anxiety when someone is showing you something? What about your methods of learning? When you teach yourself something is it different in some important way from how people have taught you in the past.

(Im just trying to get a better gauge on what the problems might be)

Sometimes at school you can just become bored and it takes a good amount of self discipline and determination to get through those periods (not necessarily saying that is the case though, but sometimes it is).

 

[Matariki]

When you say you have had problems at school, is there anything specific you don't like? You've mentioned work schedule, deadlines and imposing authority.

It's complicated as I did mention that I have C-PTSD. Whenever I'm in a school like environment, I get very strong flash backs and panic attacks. I don't mind teachers outside of this environment, but I prefer to keep my distance. Although I am working on taking control over my C-PTSD through counseling.

Do you have problems holding your attention on a subject for long periods of time? Do you feel too rushed to consider material properly? How about your overall goals, do they tend to change? Do you feel strong anxiety when someone is showing you something? What about your methods of learning? When you teach yourself something is it different in some important way from how people have taught you in the past. (I'm just trying to get a better gauge on what the problems might be)

Yes, yes, no and yes to the first four questions.

I do have problems with my attention span, I did forget to mention that I have Aspergers syndrome (which is a similar disorder to ADHD), It doesn't help when I inform my tutors that they expect me to be like Raymond from Rain Man; super intelligent and fantastic with numbers (I'm the opposite). I like to take my time when it comes to learning so I can mentally prepare myself to complete the assignment, unfortunately I'm not usually given the time to do so. My goal remains the same, but my strategy to achieve it changes. I know what path I want to go down, its just going to take a huge amount of effort and will to get there.

Sometimes at school you can just become bored and it takes a good amount of self discipline and determination to get through those periods (not necessarily saying that is the case though, but sometimes it is).

There's nothing boring about learning anything new but it has to be within my interests and relevant to my future.

 

[Norton]

The problem isn't so much me lacking passion, its learning to over come hurdles such as work schedules and of course C-PTSD. Unfortunately my time at school as a child (before I was homeschooled) was an unhappy experience, the one lesson my tutors always wanted to teach me was that I'm a failure. Naturally, I feel uneasy around that sort of authority.

We live in a world where the conventional way is the obvious way. But, if you pursue the conventional path, you'll end up like everyone else. Clearly, you're not like everyone else. People spend years in school obtaining their conventional credentials and this means, on paper, they all look the same. You are already different. You need to rewrite the story you tell yourself from a negative, pessimistic one to a positive, optimistic one.

Every personality trait and "disorder" typically perceived as negative has a positive aspect, too. People with Aspergers are often brilliant in the subjects of their passions. For example read about Tim Page. People with ADHD and attention problems can be extremely flexible and creative (they can get an idea a second). It might be helpful to research and read about people who have pursued unconventional interests, or conventional interests in unconventional ways. You might find inspiration but also, some ideas about how to solve your dilemma.

I might add that many who pursue conventional educations often never learn how to learn on their own. So after school, they become stagnant. Learning is a lifelong experience and, indeed, a necessity. Those who are curious, inspired, and driven to learn, learn despite school, not because of it.

Matariki, your differences are an advantage.

 

[whytiger]

I have ADD---not the fake kind either. Aspergers and ADD are apparently related. I am not at all methodical though---rather the opposite.

Anyway, you focus a lot on what you can't do. What about the things you can do? What are your strengths? If you are used to thinking of yourself in negative terms, it might take a while to think of what they are, so take your time.