As a child, I was... | INFJ Forum

As a child, I was...

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by bs98r3kjf, Feb 27, 2009.

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As a child, I was...

Poll closed Jun 7, 2009.
  1. picked on.

    48.1%
  2. a bully.

    1.3%
  3. a bully in some instances and picked on in others.

    21.5%
  4. neither picked on nor a bully.

    29.1%
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  1. bs98r3kjf

    bs98r3kjf Well-known member

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    Were you picked on as a child?
    Were you a bully?

    Please share your experiences. How did it affect you when you are a child and how do you feel it has carried on to your personality and your personal values today? Do you still think about it often?

    NOTE: I made the poll public so that we can get it all out. Sometimes, it hurts to keep it all inside and you just get tired of it.
     
    #1 bs98r3kjf, Feb 27, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2009
  2. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Picked on initially at every school until I beat the shit out of their friends and them.

    I've got a motto; "People can be brave for themselves, so attack the ones they want to keep safe."
     
  3. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    I was picked on for being younger 2 years younger than my peers. It was devistating and of course had an impact on my self-esteem. I blamed my parents for putting me in school early and cried alot, untill I realised that it was for my benefit and obviosly for a reason: because I was more intelligent than those of my age. Hence, I still feel like that it ripped parts of my childhood away as I was forced to mature at the paste of classmates. Although, emotionally I probably reached a plateau at age 7.
     
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  4. Kellie

    Kellie Newbie

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    I was picked on a handful of times in my life. But I know it can be very painful.
     
  5. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    I was picked on a lot around 4th grade. Then one of my mom's boyfriends taught me that if I didn't want to be picked on I needed to be the one doing the picking. I tore a kids a coat one day and my parents got sent a $100 bill. After that I would just sit back and let kids pick on me until I would snap. It wasn't until high school that I started standing up for myself, and it wasn't't until college that I had developed enough feelings of self worth to understand the personal rights perspective.
     
  6. Chimerical

    Chimerical Newbie

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    I was picked on for being different and told that things I did were wrong all growing up.

    Eventually I began to adopt the idea that family doesn't mean anything other than someone with a few of the same genes as me. Some of my friends think this is a crazy idea, but I don't give my family any special privilages just for being related.

    The other effect. Anytime I'm picked on or something bullshit happens to me I decide to try my best to make sure this never happens to anyone else, and that it wont happen a 2nd time.
     
  7. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I was picked on in 5th grade a lot, and then through 6th grade some, but it died eventually. Otherwise, I didn't have too much of a tough time; the before and after were alright.
    After that, I just ended up hurting myself the most.
     
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  8. Kellie

    Kellie Newbie

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    Don't spurn them completely, you may need that kidney one day!
     
  9. Silently Honest

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    lol.
     
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  10. firehotemily

    firehotemily Community Member

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    well...i was NEVER a bully...but i stood up for those kids that were picked on...i was picked on occasionally so yeah..
     
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  11. dylan

    dylan Bearded Dancing King

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    I was definitely never a bully. I was picked on a bit, but not by "bullies." I was usually picked on by my friends. It took me until well through college to develop a thick skin to "good natured ribbing." I still don't really get how you can be mean in a friendly way, but I've come to accept that it is somehow an acceptable form of bonding and expression of one's friendship.
     
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  12. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I got beat up by bullies for trying to divert their attention from my friends.. Then called a 'lesbian' althroughout high school for refusing to date anyone. I didn't much care though.
     
  13. mayflow

    Banned

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    I once got called a Lesbian in a man's body. What? It's like a Zen Koan or something.
    I also got once punched in the nose by some guy and I wasn't even looking at him at the time even though he was trying to pick a fight with me. There was blood everywhere and my books were scattered on the floor and I looked around and there was a teacher coming around and I told the guy to scram and he did. I told the teacher I fell down the stairs. I don't think they believed me, but really, there is no part of me that could ever get off on or enjoy hitting or hurting anybody no matter what they may do to me. Anything any one may do to try to hurt me is up to them, but I derive my strength and goodness from within, and I wish the same for them.
     
  14. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    We are similiar here, too. I'm not the type for revenge or any conflict at all for the reason that I also have a center of personal integrity and goodness that no one else touch unless I allow them to. Like that Ghandi quote King of Spades has as his sig. Something like: No one can hurt me unless I allow it.


    Noble that you let that kid go! Where do you think you developed this from, May? Is it natural to your personality or did you have to learn it and integrate it within yourself?
     
  15. v.shadow

    v.shadow Community Member

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    mmm...I don't remmember much about my childhood, but some people say I scratched them with my fingernails (lol I've been a sadistic since I was little). last year I was bullied a lot (I now got to the conclusion I'm dealing with retarded people -.-), until I snapped one day and everyone kind of undestood me a little bit more. these days the bullying has restarted, but I'm now standing up for myself and just using rational arguments to confront them (though I admit, I can be pretty agressive sometimes).
     
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  16. Thoth

    Thoth Regular Poster

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    I was, for no apparent reason, socially cast out in 1st grade. I stayed the one to be picked on throughout elementary school and junior high. It was worst in junior high. High school saw things taper off, and I finally emerged into some form of socializing by 11th grade (before that, I had a very small group of equally cast-out types).

    I'm still a bit socially stunted from my years of social isolation and abuse, but I think I'm making damn good progress, all things considered.

    Still a little weird from it all, but what can you do.
     
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  17. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Haha! Weird is good.
    It seems being a social outcast makes one more perceptive about people. That's just my observation about people who say they were outcasts.
     
  18. OP
    bs98r3kjf

    bs98r3kjf Well-known member

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    Ok I don't usually talk about this but here it goes. When I was in elementary school, I was very quiet and very different from the other students in terms of where I was from. So that gave many of the kids numerous opportunities to pick on me and I was always just so helpless about it. My parents usually told me to just tell the teacher but they never understood my pain. My teachers would sometimes talk to the other students but it didn't change much. I still got picked on. I never got physically bullied in elementary school. It was just a lot of mean things that the other kids used to say. The names they used to call me echo in my head when I think about this. They were merciless and really mean and it made me cry, sometimes in the classroom. At some points, I felt that it was pointless to tell the teacher anymore because it became ineffective. I also stopped telling my parents because they too did not seem to understand or do much about it. I was stuck with it and there was nothing I could do about it. There were a few kids that were nice to me and felt bad that I was being picked on, but they were a minority, which stuck up for me a few times because they felt bad but I didn't have any friends in elementary school. I remember when this one girl, Bianca, had invited all the girls in the class to her birthday party except me. Gosh, that hurt! :( I remember always feeling left out. I don't remember every single bad thing that I went through but I do remember the feelings that I experienced at that time. I remember crying myself to sleep sometimes because of this. This happened mostly starting from the second grade to fifth grade. Then junior high school was a little better. I made some friends there, few, but good ones. And we did get picked on sometimes because we were different, but its a lot better getting picked on in a group than getting picked on alone so it wasn't nearly half as bad. I also got physically bullied in junior high school a few times. After 9/11, I got picked on some more and physically and verbally assaulted and was a victim of some hate crimes because of my background. That caused me to have an identity crisis bigger than all of the identity crises that I've ever had. In high school, the bullying decreased dramatically, especially in the second half of high school, and now in college, I don't get bullied at all.

    Yeah I know I blabber too much. I just needed to talk about this and I don't feel comfortable talking about this to anyone. Thanks for reading.
     
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  19. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    You don't blabber too much.
     
  20. OP
    bs98r3kjf

    bs98r3kjf Well-known member

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    I don't? :m075:
     
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