Here as Queen, I get you special throne. Now you never worry about flushing yourself down the toilet hole. Now you make poopsy where ever you go! See awesome relationship compromising skills! /wow
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So cheating is ok if the other did it first?
You could handle that a lot more adult-like.
1) Cheated on
2) Break up
3) Happily fuck around the world
Just don't cheat. You'd be as bad as the other.
What I mean is that it would be time to move on. I could freely form another relationship, sex or no sex. If the relationship ended for other reasons, I would probably feel guilty about forming a relationship too soon because I would be worried about hurting their feelings. Not so with a cheater.
"Foolish Games" by Jewel is most likely my favorite video on Youtube. Her facial feelings, body language, emotion, beauty, and all add to it.
She sings about tearing apart and her heart breaking. I feel it with her. The spiritual language in the background is awesome. Bleeding heart, down on her knees. I could never do that to her. Awesome video. She is being ignored. Her depth of emotions are silently causing her to die spiritually. Time to go.
She sings about tearing apart and her heart breaking. I feel it with her. The spiritual language in the background is awesome. Bleeding heart, down on her knees. I could never do that to her. Awesome video. She is being ignored. Her depth of emotions are silently causing her to die spiritually. Time to go.
The difference we have is that I think anyone can do whatever they want after a breakup no matter why the breakup happened. I probably wouldn't do it myself and I wouldn't like it if a future ex of me does it, but she would have all the right to do it. Besides, it's probably easier to move on that way.
I would try to figure out why they did it...and if the explanation isn't good enough or doesn't sit right with me, or if I know I had to no real fault behind what they did (like I was there for them, spent time with them, provided needs, was open etc.) then I would say goodbye to the relationship.
i do understand as K mentioned there is a "subconscious" element. the internal pressure to behave in ways that transgress values can overwhelm; life is difficult. it was cool to read what justme had to say. ive been unsympathetic in my responses on this thread. in this situation, it would take a stronger, more sympathetic person than me to forgive and forget though. i dont have that kind of personal power. x
*Raises hand* Faithful for 20 years. Or at least I have been.
I voted leave, but it really does depend on the circumstance.
I've had the conversation about my spouse getting it on with another girl when she was 18. She told me a day or two after it happened, sort of. I thought they just made out. When we were in our 30's with 2 kids I learned it was a whole lot more. It crushed me. I forgave her after a little while but it's one of those things that I'm not sure I'll ever fully let go. I thought I was over it but the hurt started resurfacing again after a few months. We may have been young but we had an agreement since she had already once cheated on me a few weeks into our relationship. I truly forgave her the first time as the relationship was fresh, I was still testing my emotional waters myself, we were young, and she was truly remorseful.
I saw first-hand as a kid what cheating can do to a family/marriage. And I was cheated on in a teenage relationship twice. Given the poll choices I would say leave, but it really does depend. I know now that receiving any new information would devastate our marriage. I guess time would have to heal a break-up because of the kids, but I know I would have to move on.
If monogamy is one of your core values it deserves to be respected. And you have to make that clear.
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"Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart
- Jun 26, 2017
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I'm out.
I don't have time for dumb shit.
I don't have time for dumb shit.
Leave is the best option. It’s too complicated otherwise.
Factors to consider:
—Did they come forward or did you catch them? If you caught them, did you do so with integrity. No phone snooping
—What was the nature of it? One time, drunk, ongoing, etc?
—Is the other person still in contact with them; what is the status of that relationship?
—Are they really sorry?
—How is your relationship otherwise?
Basically, allowing cheating sets you up for even worse manipulation. It also gives the offender power. Just ending it is better
Factors to consider:
—Did they come forward or did you catch them? If you caught them, did you do so with integrity. No phone snooping
—What was the nature of it? One time, drunk, ongoing, etc?
—Is the other person still in contact with them; what is the status of that relationship?
—Are they really sorry?
—How is your relationship otherwise?
Basically, allowing cheating sets you up for even worse manipulation. It also gives the offender power. Just ending it is better
Been through this, multiple times with my ex. Each and every time I thought I could fix it, stay as the steady element in our lives, for the kids.
I was stupid. My son was away at school when I had to tell him I was filing for divorce. His response was "About time."
My advise: cheaters will always do it again given the right person to cheat with. Get out, you're the good person in this relationship and deserve someone who truly cares about you.
I was stupid. My son was away at school when I had to tell him I was filing for divorce. His response was "About time."
My advise: cheaters will always do it again given the right person to cheat with. Get out, you're the good person in this relationship and deserve someone who truly cares about you.
Also, stop caring so much about a relationship so that if and when this happens it’s no big deal. Only interact with things that can’t happen without a relationship. Do not emotionally or intimately blackmail someone.
Just do it once in awhile and people won’t stray. Lack of intimacy is the real killer. We like to act like doing it isn’t the most important thing. It’s the only thing. What are you doing to create those opportunities for commitment? How hard are you making it for the other person to engage
Just do it once in awhile and people won’t stray. Lack of intimacy is the real killer. We like to act like doing it isn’t the most important thing. It’s the only thing. What are you doing to create those opportunities for commitment? How hard are you making it for the other person to engage
I guarantee the odds of cheating go waaaaaaaayyyy down if you’re actively and consistently doing with each other
Do each other so someone else doesn’t
Do each other so someone else doesn’t
I totally disagree with the physical contact bit being a deterrent to a straying s.o.
Eventually one will get injured, ill, have kids... what have you. Then, if the other needs that physical contact so bad they think they have the right to cheat and turn the blame back on the other.
NOPE. They're either faithful through and through or they aren't.
I can see quite a variety of colors and shades in almost every circumstance under the sun, but this is one thing that is black and white to me.
Eventually one will get injured, ill, have kids... what have you. Then, if the other needs that physical contact so bad they think they have the right to cheat and turn the blame back on the other.
NOPE. They're either faithful through and through or they aren't.
I can see quite a variety of colors and shades in almost every circumstance under the sun, but this is one thing that is black and white to me.
I guarantee if a study was done on this. Couples doing more and on the reg have a significantly lower chance of having cheating occur
Now that might not be the true cause, but is definitely the signal things are working out enough that you don’t mind doing that kind of stuff
Now that might not be the true cause, but is definitely the signal things are working out enough that you don’t mind doing that kind of stuff
And thanks for all the “Is he cheating?” ads now on my browser. Clear them cookies
D
Deleted member 16771
Leave. No exceptions.
The way I think about it is this:
If you cheat on me, then you weren't the person I thought you were, so I wouldn't lose anything or anyone of value by leaving.
The way I think about it is this:
If you cheat on me, then you weren't the person I thought you were, so I wouldn't lose anything or anyone of value by leaving.
You have to appreciate the INTJ!
... and I fully agree with him.