You find out your partner has cheated... | Page 6 | INFJ Forum

You find out your partner has cheated...

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Scientia, Apr 21, 2015.

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  1. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    It's been my experiences that INFJ attract personality disorders. I think they are instinctually drawn to our healing aura.

    One thing that disgust me about PD the most besides their lack of empathy and loyalty is that they are hippocrates. They demand loyalty (it's their hook), even get a distorted like jealousy but without hesitation or second thought will act impulsively and they will cheat on you... strange being a broken person that lacks what makes us bond with living creatures.

    They (vampires) been with us since the dawn of man. Every culture around the world has a myth about vampires or vampire like creatures because it speaks about a universal truth that there are wolves in sheep clothing living amongst us. And the symbolism in the myth stories gives clues about them to teach their society how to spot, deal with, and avoid them...it.

    Interestingly, I believe mature INFJs are lone wolves that are formidable against wolves in sheep clothing, our cognitive circuits are designed to see thru their masks and intuitively sense something's not right, but an immature INFJ has a hard time leaving a toxic relationship because we believe that we can fix them... the truth is, they can never be fix, they are incapable of changing...ever, don't waste your time trying.
     
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  2. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    It's true, real INFJs encompasses the big picture... the past, present, and future.

    I stand by our congivite functions as the polar opposites of the psychopath. They represent 1% and nature created INFJs as the other 1% to balance out the duality. After all, who understood the shadow better than the apex INFJ Carl Jung?
     
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  3. Hostarius

    Hostarius Apostate INFJ

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    That's a good point, actually, and makes a lot of sense. Loyalty is an emotion (someone find me some Thorin Oakenshield to quote pls).

    Hey, man, I think this is some dangerous thinking for three reasons:

    1) You're perpetuating this myth that INFJs are 'the most human humans', thereby denigrating the humanity of other types by comparison.

    2) By trusting in some ineffable 'gut feeling', you run the risk of judging the innocent as unworthy... worse than that, as 'vampires' and 'narcissists'.

    3) By the same measure, you risk not being able to detect the truly dangerous by relying overmuch on this initial gut reaction.

    People ought to be judged by their behaviour and not by if they give you the willies or not. You're not magic. You're not psychic. You're not a mystical vampire hunter forged by evolution or creation for this special purpose.

    It seems to me that you're just a human being who's been hurt and that's OK. To me that is a thousand times more meaningful than any of the hyperbolic claims that are sometimes made for each of the types. We're all brothers and sisters in this thing; children in the void.
     
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  4. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    Impressive reflection and spot on insights. It just occurred to me that if you really look at INFJs functions: that they see thru masks, human lie detectors, of the four introverts INFJs are the ones that go face to face with bullies..snarling teeth and ready to bite, we see core issues, which by the way is the "heart of the matter" hench we can drive a proverbial stake they're an unsuspecting dark triad, and we mirror just like the cluster b, why some think we are just like them... It's an awareness that defines an Infj but from a masculine pov... my sister INFJ have different feminine instincts and may not see thru the masculine pov... I stood up to many bullies in public and they backed down without a fight.

    Mature INFJ just knows they can handle any present moment cross wires with an immature personality disorder, and mastered boundaries and inner peace.

    Not suggesting a super hero's persona, we are naturally into harmony but God forbids if a predator tries to fuck with our territory...
     
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  5. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    It's all politics and diplomacy man because some dark Triad personality disorders they have their use turn High Society they climb the ladder... it's all about being Machiavellian these days... sometimes you got to be evil for the common good you got to learn how to pick your fights..too
     
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  6. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    But the first line of defense is boundaries you got to learn how to screen out these cheaters Liars personality disorders cluster B dark Triads get rid of all that toxicity... I think the hardest thing about being an infj it's learning boundaries and enforcing them
     
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  7. Hostarius

    Hostarius Apostate INFJ

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    Yeah I do agree with you to some extent, but again I've noticed in my own life that I tend to stand up to bullies and defend underdogs, often at great personal risk. So far I haven't been in a situation to risk my life, but definitely my physical safety and my job. Anecdotally, I can say that in my job, the people who put themselves into harm's way for the sake of others were both INTJs... Have you ever considered that you were INTJ?

    Again, though, forgetting the functions for a moment and what they superficially seem to imply, I do think there's a danger in imputing that this is a 'special quality' of INFJs. I think all types are probably equally motivated by it, and capable of it, though how they might go about doing it could be different.

    Take Churchill - ESTP apparently - polar opposite to an INFJ and he stood up to a bully when noone would listen to him. Thank God he did. I wonder what type Chamberlain was... food for thought :wink:
     
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    #107 Hostarius, Feb 24, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2019
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  8. Wyote

    Wyote Con Risa Absoluta
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    Yup
     
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  9. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    I am not INTP because I have multiple layers in my personhood and it's really hard to get to know me, but I do shine with a light of curiosity to my extroverted persona. Plus I'm paradoxical, fined tuned to music, see quantum mechanics as the perfect marriage between religion and science, I can do codes on a computer...feel balanced and in harmony with both hemispheres.. how about you?
    I'm just in the later stages where the Se becomes more prominent. Meaning the present moment becomes more of a factor, I pick up things and my surroundings like on a matrix level my subconscious is working overtime so my conscious could be free and that I know I can handle any human interaction on the fly...in the present because I have these unique autopilot cognitive functions, well tuned that I'm more human than most... I just don't worry about the future much cuz I trust myself in any present moment now..peace. I like the way you think.
     
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  10. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    Also I'm very drawn to children and animals when I'm out in public with Se, and they capture my imagination and attention more than some existential issued adults...lol. thank you for stimulating thoughts..
     
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  11. Hostarius

    Hostarius Apostate INFJ

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    I just wondered if you ever considered INTJ...

    P.S. I should clarify: I can totally see you as INFJ, I'm just wondering if you ever considered INTJ and why you may have discarded it. I am absolutely NOT questioning your type, dude.
     
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  12. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    I'll look into it, the only thing is...we can hang out for 20 years and you'll barely scratch the surface of who or what I know, but I'll know everything about you... I'm curious about others, kinda absorb their experiences into mine. INTJ...hmmm. I believe they're more prone to logical and practical? I'm more into people science, people open up to me almost immediately... why I got a bitch shield...thats easily cracked if someone engages me.

    Never turn down an insight.
     
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  13. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    I know it seems contradictory that I'm opening up but hell I mean I'm in an infj forum..my own people and being asked interesting questions turns on my extroverted part of me. But in person I'll only do that with less than a handful of people...thing is people love talking about themselves, I'm very guarded.. except I had one ENTP that peeled back some layers but that made me vulnerable and bonded deeper which made me feel betrayed when her dark triad shit hit the fan..I knew then what I was dealing with...just curious about the discarded phase and you let them break up with you so you don't deal with psycho stalking bs... no hoovering attempts...so far. Need people science to deal with a creature like that.
     
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  14. Hostarius

    Hostarius Apostate INFJ

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    Hmm.

    I wouldn't say that INTJs are more logical than INFJs, and people open up to me, too. I am also curious about others.

    I wouldn't say INTJs are especially practical either, since we are Ni doms (INTJ functions are Ni Te Fi Se).

    The tricky difference here is that in terms of cognitive processes, I will have a vague, unitary idea that I'm trying to grasp/chase, which will be composed of many different, interlinking elements (Ni), which I will then try to concretise and make understandable by placing the intuition into some kind of systematic or logical framework (Te). This process of pursuing my own ideas can be described as an Ni-Te process, but you should be thinking 'yeah but I do that, too!', because INFJs do essentially the same thing with Ni-Ti.

    If I'm analysing an already existing system for its major weaknesses or improvements, this process happens in reverse as Te-Ni. I take in structural information about the system through analysis (Te), and then at some point it's major structural weaknesses become apparent to me (Ni), and I'll be able to say that the major failing of this system is X. This is a useful cognitive process to think about because INFJs tend not to identify with this (though they can do it, of course, it just takes more energy).

    If you don't identify with this process then you might be able to eliminate INTJ. I suppose the comparable process for INFJs could be Fe-Ni, which takes in emotional information about individuals and groups (Fe) and then tries to render this information into a unitary insight (Ni) about a person (or group). I think this is why ENFJs are sometimes accused of always trying to 'fix people', because Fe and Ni are their dom and aux respectively. INTJs can do this, too, of course, but again it probably takes more energy and concentration and/or the feelings are very raw and intense because we just don't have that much command over Fe.

    So yeah... I just thought I'd put that here, but I did realise while writing it that it's probably not going to be that useful to you. Sorry, but I hope it was at least a little bit interesting anyway.
     
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  15. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    Do INTJ think metaphorically..?.I noticed I use that language a lot..side by side with my logical side. Did you know that's how babies think, before they learn a language... in metaphors because they don't really have anything to base their personal experience on except with other similar experiences...it's baby thinking, and I kind of kept that while expanding thru time.
     
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  16. Hostarius

    Hostarius Apostate INFJ

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    Yes, but I think being particularly open to metaphorical or analogical thinking is a trait of all Intuitives.
     
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  17. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    Right on. Listen I'm sorry that we hijacked this post because I know the poster is dealing with the cheater it really hurts, and if you're an infj it's best to look to see if that other person has a personality disorder since we tend to attractive them. Because all personality disorders under cluster B follow the same recipe, they all read from the same book and they can never change. Betrayal sucks...I hope you'll pull thru it.
     
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  18. Bg5Cn

    Bg5Cn Regular Poster

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    Cheaters also put your body at risk, STD and that's not cool.
     
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