Would you ever change yourself for someone? | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Would you ever change yourself for someone?

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If you're talking about changing myself to make someone like me/accept me, then not in a million years. I've never tried and even if I knew how it just wouldn't be me and I'm not good at putting on an act/pretense, so I'm not even going to even make the attempt b/c I would just make a fool of myself. There's nothing more silly than pretending to be someone you're not. If you don't like me, then that's too bad. Your problem, not mine.

If you're talking about reinventing myself or being more accommodating/adjusting myself somehow
 
What I've done is, I've accepted that most people won't get on with me or won't like me. That is inevitable. I have gone through periods, when I was younger, of really trying to fit in and trying to please people, but as people have said, your just raping your self identity. I've fully acknowledged that I'm gonna have a hard time anywhere I go and that 8/10 people won't like me. That encompasses friendships and relationships.

So with this acknowledgement, I can focus on being who I am. I'm not a people pleaser, so if people don't like me they can go suck a fuck!* That's who I am and I'll continue to improve myself nonetheless.

*Points if you get the reference!
 
I think many of us do this without intending to, or even realizing we're doing it. Then once we've already squelched our true selves and beaten our self esteem to a pulp, we realize we're unhappy and can't figure out why.

Having lived and learned, I know that I will be more conscious of staying true to myself in the future. If one person can't love me for who I am, I know there is someone else who will. Compromising yourself is never worth it in the end.
 
Would you ever change yourself for someone?
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Depends what we're talking about here. If we're talking about an afterschool special sort of thing where one person superficially makes over their look or personality to attract another person... then can I get a HELL NO. But if we're talking about that someone genuinely caring about you and asking you to eliminate alcoholism or other inhibiting behaviors because it is hurting the relationship/or you, then yes. I would. In a heartbeat.

I think the majority of us have the right idea. I am who I am, it's my life, rah rah rah! Healthy self-esteem for the win!
 
hmm I'd adapt my self to a friend's needs temporarily, but as for permanently anything outside of a natural progression of personal growth, I would not.
 
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