Why do older women like to call people honey? | Page 4 | INFJ Forum

Why do older women like to call people honey?

I've had Women clients of mine call me sweetheart.
"You're such a sweetheart"
I'm not bothered by it at all. I know they just mean it as a way to say thanks.
I would never ever consider saying the same to a Woman though outside from my Wife, because coming from a man to a woman in a business setting it does come across as condescending and patronizing.
Not sure I will ever be used to being called "sir" though. Even though it has been happening for some time.
 
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I really do think they need to get rid of "ma'am" though. It sounds too much as if you're addressing someone much older and senior. I am not sure "Miss" would work either. When someone calls me ma'am, it makes me feel much older than I am.

This is one of those situations where it would be cool if we could adapt the French equivalent : mademoiselle
 
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I have had people call me terms of endearment with a condescending intention before. But because im so full of myself and self assured i dont take offense. I know that sometimes im wrong or my behaviour may appear wrong or foolish to others. Im also younger and more immature than others. I make mistakes, i cant please everybody. Whatever. It doesnt really matter as long as i am happy with myself. Each to their own.

I do call lots of people- both friends and strangers by terms of endearment such as Love, Gorgeous, Beautiful, Angel, Lovely, Sweetheart, Darling etc. I do this if i feel comfortable with the person/and or like them. I dont take into account whether they are older or younger than me, male or female. It seems irrelevant. I guess what im trying to convey by using these terms is- i may not know know you- but that is irrelevant- i Love you and i want to have a positive interaction with you.

I like to make all 'real' communication as informal as possible. I understand the need for formalities and cultural ettiquette in certain situations, but as a rule i dont like playing these games. I only have respect for the person, not that cultural traditions they hold. I will honour these traditions only to honour the person. I think courtesy is very important, and i like it when people are nice, honest and gentle with each other. Rudeness is just lame. I like to treat people like they are already my friends and be as informal as possible. Im sure my use of familiarity may bother some people but most dont seem to mind. I often feel anyway, when i meet someone, that i can relate to them and have rapport with them. Instead of wasting time with small talk i like trying to talk about the more important things straight away.

And very importantly - why is a term of endearment related to how intelligent someone is? Why cant cute be smart too? Who wrote those pointless rules?
[MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION] is absolutely adorable, probably the most adorable person on this forum and she is probably the most intelligent and wisest too. I am constantly awed by her wisdom and understanding of the world. Long live niffer!
 
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@charlene
:m035: :mwaa:




Actually, the reason is because people associate childlikeness with being vulnerable and less experienced (= weak and useless in the insecure mind). One of my pet peeves is people acting like they know a lot if they just know a small amount on a subject. Even if one does know a lot, what good does it do to show it unless your expertise is called for in a particular situation? :m145: People who look like they care about trying to come off as intellectual always look silly because of this.
 
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Genuine said:
I really do think they need to get rid of "ma'am" though. It sounds too much as if you're addressing someone much older and senior. I am not sure "Miss" would work either. When someone calls me ma'am, it makes me feel much older than I am.

This is one of those situations where it would be cool if we could adapt the French equivalent : mademoiselle
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Mademoiselle == Miss

or does the French version just have a nicer sound to it?
 
I have been getting "Hunned" by women slightly younger than me....should I be concerned?
 
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charlene said:
And very importantly - why is a term of endearment related to how intelligent someone is? Why cant cute be smart too? Who wrote those pointless rules?
Click to expand...

Personally, cute does mean smart sometimes. When a girl is being really clever, I think it's cute. Sometimes it's nice being clueless to social rules. :D
 
I'll have you know my young ass self calls everyone honey.
 
Paladin-X said:
Mademoiselle == Miss

or does the French version just have a nicer sound to it?
Click to expand...

yeah, pretty much. :) When I said, I'm not sure Miss would be better, I was wondering if some women would like it at all, because someone may feel they're being seen as too young from the use of the term "Miss". So, it comes down to perception.
 
I'm suddenly feeling quite old.

On second thought, no... I'm not.

I am guilty of using words like sweetie, darling, and dear. I am now a bit bothered at the idea that someone might take offense and find these things condescending. Due to the fact that I truly enjoy and like people I know that I am being sincere in my usage. I also tend to judge and feel my situation, and I constantly weigh my words; so while I use these terms often and even with people I don't have an overly familiar association with, I am careful with whom, and when, I use these words.

I also find the genteel nature of these kind hearted idioms endearing when they are said to me, or used properly by others.

This thread is going to stay in my thoughts now, I'm sure.
 
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dneecey said:
I'm suddenly feeling quite old.

On second thought, no... I'm not.

I am guilty of using words like sweetie, darling, and dear. I am now a bit bothered at the idea that someone might take offense and find these things condescending. Due to the fact that I truly enjoy and like people I know that I am being sincere in my usage. I also tend to judge and feel my situation, and I constantly weigh my words; so while I use these terms often and even with people I don't have an overly familiar association with, I am careful with whom, and when, I use these words.

I also find the genteel nature of these kind hearted idioms endearing when they are said to me, or used properly by others.

This thread is going to stay in my thoughts now, I'm sure.
Click to expand...

I think it's not really the use of the word, but how it's said that makes someone a little nervous. But I have a feeling people don't mind when you say it :). I think when someone is earnest or geniuine, people are not as bothered by it.
 
Today i noticed I was referring to everyone as darling at work...
 
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don't you mean "why not [MENTION=2719]justme[/MENTION]?',Honey?
 
purplecrayons said:
Today i noticed I was referring to everyone as darling at work...
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I call sexual harassment.

The HR people at my work would say that it is not harassment if you like it. So what if it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. If I need to throw up afterwards, it comes out in hairballs. It's gross.

Don't ask. I'm apparently in a weird mood.
 
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I don't like being called honey, darling or sweetie by strangers, but I know most people don't mean any harm by it and just do it out of habit.
 
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