Why am I so odd? | INFJ Forum

Why am I so odd?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by SweetDreams, Mar 6, 2010.

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  1. SweetDreams

    SweetDreams Regular Poster

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    I'm currently at a party which I didn't want to come to, but ended up going to because I care for the person. And instead of trying to socialize, I really can't be bothered. Usually, I'm very good at pretending to be outgoing and initiating conversations, but a part of me is just going, "No!". I think a part of the reason is that the person whose party it is is just hanging around their friends(this person is family) but it's a small house party with around 20 people. I feel like I can't relate to any of them.

    So I guess what I want to know is, have you ever shut down like this? And what could be the reasons behind this? It's not like I'm anxious or anything, just not bothered.
     
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  2. Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

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    your not odd, at least for an introvert your not odd. I've been in the exact same position, It takes alot to coax out my extroverted side.
     
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  3. the

    the Si master race.
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    I dont think that is odd behavior at all.
     
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  4. mooseman

    mooseman Local Claviger
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    I agree. I know a lot of people who would feel extremely uncomfortable sitting in a sofa, drinking tea and talking about life a whole night. In that setting they are the ones who feel odd. People are just different.
     
    #4 mooseman, Mar 6, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2010
  5. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    this happens even to me, and i'm supposed to be an extrovert ;)

    people are complex, we can't always match our states of mind

    i've noticed that some people that i love and they love me, and still we almost never match at the present time, and seem to pass each other too often
    like, when i'm happy they will be sad, and vice-versa; and when one is outgoing, the other isn't.. and still that doesn't mean we don't have very dear feelings in general
    so it doesn't bother me too much

    bottom line: you are not odd :hug:
     
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  6. muffinsnail

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    I think you are not odd, you are just listening to you heart... I had a few experiences like that, going to the party only because I cared for the person who hosted the party, and I ended up left early, actually running away from the event... :D I think it might be the conflict between my introverted intuition and extroverted feeling: My feeling tells me that I should go for the person who I care but my intuition tells me I don't feel like it... :)
     
  7. Norton

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    In parties, I'm always shut down. I take the earliest excuse to leave. Why endure any more discomfort than the necessary minimum? I'm such a hermit.
     
  8. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    ahahahha no of course not :) :hug:

    sometimes, when people talk to me, I even become rude (I don't know why.. but it's kinda natural to me especially when I don't like the vibe of the party)

    heeheehee so.. not odd :) :)
     
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  9. ec3khrl

    ec3khrl Community Member

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    I find it hard to motivate myself when the event's purpose is known as "to socialize" and nothing else.

    That makes it feel like work.
     
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  10. NeverAmI

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    I simply can't function in a party unless I consume enough alcohol. Even with alcohol, sometimes it isn't enough to supress my wandering mind.

    I actually had a point where I visited old friends and I felt like I couldn't relate to any of them. Of course, that was in a crowded bar and nearly everyone was talking about their 'inside' stories that I wasn't a part of, which is defintiely not encouraging.
     
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  11. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    If I'm at a party it's usually because its at the house of a group of friends, and half of them will be hiding in their rooms anyways. We all tend to dissapear into the rooms for a bit durring any party anyways, and come out to steal food.

    I find that if a group of people are too different, its pretty natural to not want to talk to them. If everyone at the party is different than you, then shutting down isn't at all surprising. You really shouldn't have to force the interaction though, it isn't all about trying to get along for another's sake, you gotta remember to think about your own fun and enjoyment. If they dont hit upon something you feel like talking about, can't blame yourself for not wanting to get involved.

    Maybe next time, pick a spot in the kitchen and start mixing drinks (Non-alcoholic is more of what I mean, see below). You'll be the party favorite without having to strike a conversation at random to a room of strangers. I am a cooking type though so this is more my thing. Hell, if you've got mad skills and an open kitchen, flambe baby! Everything is better with fire, especially a party. Its not as hard as it looks either.

    Drinks are easy, if you have warning and a friend is hosting (or even you if you get brave and ambitious) just have these things on hand: Crushed ice or smaller cubes. Buy bagged. Pineapple juice and other fruit juices, coconut syrup and grenadine, (you can usually find it in the pop and water Aisles at the store) lots of either Sprite or just carbonated water, and straws. You can make something really good with just a glass full of ice, a teaspoon each of grenadine and coconut syrup, fill the glass halfway with pineapple juice, and the rest with sprite. Less syrups and use carbonated water to make it less sweet. Its pretty fun to make/watch too.

    Okay, a harder one, but if you're brave, go for it! Here's some links for making one:
    http://whatscookingamerica.net/flambe.htm
    http://whatscookingamerica.net/Fruit/BananaFoster.htm
    Basicallyyou take sugar and spices, dissolve them in a frying pan over a gas stove, (sorry electric) add some fruit, add some really high proof alcohol, make it hot and tip the pan over a little into the flame. The whole thing lights on fire and you stir it till it stops. Put the contents of the pan onto a plate and add ice cream. You have made this party better, with FIRE.

    The moral of this [crazy] story is that if you don't have anything to talk about, make something. Food is the easiest, and people always eat at parties. You'll be too busy talking about food (or FIRE) to worry about not having anything in common.

    ...Okay one last recipe. Easy layered dip: Sour cream, cream cheese, salsa, shredded cheese, bowl. Bottom layer, salsa. Next layer, cream cheese (get the whipped stuff and warm it up if it wont co-operate). Next layer, more salsa. Second to last layer, sour cream. Last layer, just sprinkle cheese on top. You can make this a thick layer though. Make it in front of everyone if you can! It'll go fast so you can make another.

    I love food
     
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  12. BlinkandThink

    BlinkandThink Community Member

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    Same. I need to feel like I'm doing something ... like there's a goal or like something's happening. If there's a reason, it becomes fun for me.

    If I like someone, I'd rather interact with them one on one instead of with their sawed-off party personality.


    But, as NeverAmI mentioned, alcohol helps. :bounce:
     
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  13. Krumplenump

    Krumplenump Community Member

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    I'd hate to be in the position you're in there. It's not odd.
     
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  14. poshlost

    poshlost Community Member

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    That's so odd.
     
  15. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    oh yeah it's happened to me. 3 months ago in the freezing whether, i opted for my friend's unheated car about half an hour into a late house party and nearly froze to death (which was hilarious because i could easily have just went back in)
     
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  16. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

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    Doesn't sound like an odd response at all for being in a house full of people you can't relate to [sarcasm] you stuck up jerk! [/sarcasm].
     
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  17. iDane

    iDane Regular Poster

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    Not the slightest bit odd. I certainly can relate.
     
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  18. OP
    SweetDreams

    SweetDreams Regular Poster

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    Yeah that makes sense. It's just that I've never really experienced this before (but that could also be because except for this one time, I don't really go to parties I don't feel like going to).

    haha my enfp best friend is kind of like you, she's actually less outgoing than I am.

    I think this is probably what was happening to me, and that's why I felt really weird.

    Yes, I can see that you love food! I probably wouldn't be game enough to walk into someone's kitchen and start making something, but I would (and did) resort to eating food (I must say, it was a great way to avoid talking to people, and at the same time not look totally anti-social....although I did ask other people if they wanted something.)

    lol alcohol might help, but I don't drink. Thanks anyway!

    Poor you, I can totally relate! Except, I was bored after 1 hour, so I just started playing on my phone (and decided to make a thread!).

    lol.

    This is the part I already knew...I was more after the 'why?'
     
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    #18 SweetDreams, Mar 7, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2010
  19. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    know how you feel bb, i leave early too. although later i'll admonish myself for being such a tool! my friends can relax and be comfortable in parties, but for reason i really can't. there's like a knot in my stomach that refuses to go away, i just get nervous i suppose. at times like that i wish i could switch my introverstion OFF for a day and be talkative and loud like everyone else. damn extroverts, they make it look so easy ;)
     
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  20. PSchickadee

    PSchickadee Regular Poster

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    Even when you do try to talk to people in this situation, it's hard finding the right words. I think of stuff to discuss, but have to nix them before they are spoken because I don't wanna be a Debbie Downer...

    We'll usually scope out a spot early on to retreat to, in our little "space bubble." I know it's much easier having an introvert partner to retreat with than by yourself.
    Lucky for us, however, we only go to about 2 non-family parties a year. They're usually with my co-workers, and are actually a lot of fun. They love food and enjoy drinking and games (the boss has a pool table and air hockey table), plus sarcasm is welcome. Great bunch, I tell ya...

    But anyway, it's not odd because we yearn for deeper conversation (most of the time) than what passes for party chit-chat. Nothing interesting being discussed? Back to the shadows... :)
     

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