What is wrong with polygamy? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

What is wrong with polygamy?

You could argue the other way as well though Alcyone and say more parents would lead to less neglect as when one is having a hard time there would always be another the child could go to for support. As for the sexual bias, are you saying if the norm was the other way around you'd accept it?
 
Lurker said:
You could argue the other way as well though Alcyone and say more parents would lead to less neglect as when one is having a hard time there would always be another the child could go to for support. As for the sexual bias, are you saying if the norm was the other way around you'd accept it?
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Nope, even if the gender roles were reversed I'd still be against it. There would be way too many ways for things to go so very bad for a woman involved in a situation like that.

I watched the interview with a polygamous man and his three (or was it four I don't remember too well) wives. They said all the right things. But their sidelong glances at each other, individual interviews, body language etc...painted a completely different story. That wasn't a happy family no matter how much they wanted to persuade everyone otherwise.

Depends on the definition of neglect. If you mean food, clothing, and shelter. Yes, it would protect a child from physical neglect. More adults would (should?) ensure that everyones physical needs are taken care of. As for emotional needs and nurturing, even for the most tender hearted of mothers, if a line had to be made, take care of my kids or her kids, I am sure that Mom would try her damnedest to do it all, but the kids of her other co-wives would eventually take the back seat portions of her time and affection. And one or two good parents can't take up the slack from several bad ones when in such close quarters like those families live in. When it comes to modeling appropriate conflict resolution, As well as positive gender role modeling, I think a polygamist situation leaves a lot more to be desired.

There are likely good, healthy, polygamist households out there. But I think the unhealthy ones out weigh the good ones and the potential for abuse makes it unsuitable for legalization.
 
Stone said:
Widespread polygamy would mean rich dudes would have all the ladies and average joes would be left with no womens. :cry:
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What if the women in question can also have several men? :mrgreen:
 
I'm not good at sharing...

No sloppy seconds for me thanks...
 
Shaz- said:
Stone said:
Widespread polygamy would mean rich dudes would have all the ladies and average joes would be left with no womens. :cry:
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What if the women in question can also have several men? :mrgreen:
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AMEN sista!
 
Shai Gar said:
polygamy_2.jpg
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Nice. ^^ Imagine being married to a bunch of women who constantly nag at you to take the garbage out. I dont care if someone else wants to marry more than one person, it has nothing to do with me. :p I want to have one person and I dont share. :p
 
I believe people can do what they want as long as no one is hurt in it.

Actually I think most mothers are grouchy or "bitchy" because they don't get a break from maternal/household duties as often as they need.
It could possibly work like the way they have it in communes where adults will take the responsibility of babysitting all their children in turns freeing up everyone a bit more.
I think it could work.
 
Wow...I'm really going to like this forum. I feel so at home :D.

I would jump at the chance to be in a a Polygamous/Polyfidelitous relationship. Be it MFF, MMF, or even FMFM (I'm bisexual, but 70-80% hetero). So as you can probably tell, I support Polygamy/Polyfidelity 100%. However, that doesn't mean I recommend it to most people.

In a way, I agree with those who are against Polygamy being legalized. I don't think most people would be able to handle it. But for those who can, I say: ROCK ON UNTO THEE. If everyone in the Poly family is capable of pulling it off, I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with Polygamy.

However, it takes a "special" type of person to be able to pull it off. In my opinion, you have to be psychologically aware, unusually non-judgemental, and dare I even say somewhat spiritual/philosophical. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, it cannot be for sex alone (though it is a nice bonus :D). Love is probably the most important ingredient. The proverbial "glue", if you will. Even in a strictly heterosexual Polygamous family, you must still "love" your homo-spouce/spice (platonically).

I have a lot more information on all of this, but at the expense of you all, I'll save it for later lol. Not to mention since most of your are INFJs, you probably know a good 80% of it already =/.
 
In theory, I don't believe there's anything wrong with polygamy. It's still normal and practiced widely in many cultures and has been since the dawn of time.

While I am naturally and completely monogamous by nature, I can totally envision the potentially pleasant aspects of a non-controversial polygamous relationship (non-controversial in that my child/the children would not meet with cultural brutality as a result of their parents' choices). I have often daydreamed of having my husband, and 2 or 3 of my closest friends as an extended family. It would take a HECK of a lot of pressure off me in so many ways.

The idea of living with multiple husbands is simply too horrifying to comprehend.

I am still scratching my head over the original question though... if gay marriages are allowed, then polygamists will have to be too? I don't get it. What does a committed, monogamous same-sex marriage have in common with polygamy?
 
ZenCat said:
In theory, I don't believe there's anything wrong with polygamy. It's still normal and practiced widely in many cultures and has been since the dawn of time.

While I am naturally and completely monogamous by nature, I can totally envision the potentially pleasant aspects of a non-controversial polygamous relationship (non-controversial in that my child/the children would not meet with cultural brutality as a result of their parents' choices). I have often daydreamed of having my husband, and 2 or 3 of my closest friends as an extended family. It would take a HECK of a lot of pressure off me in so many ways.

The idea of living with multiple husbands is simply too horrifying to comprehend.

I am still scratching my head over the original question though... if gay marriages are allowed, then polygamists will have to be too? I don't get it. What does a committed, monogamous same-sex marriage have in common with polygamy?
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I think it has to do with bi/homosexuality. People assume that marriage means man + woman...which is somewhat arbitrary, even in the animal kingdom (450+ spieces are completely bisexual). If this hetero-model of marriage is removed, there is theoretically no reason why Polygamy/Polyfidelity is "wrong" (assuming there is no abuse, etc).
 
Hum... You damn annoying people... Getting me to think. That's why i love being here aswell i guess.

(this is my thoughts)

For me marriage is about two things.
1. Between two (or well more) people loving each other and want to ... "prove" for themself and others that they belong together. A romantic guesture. (and for some/many a religious thing)

2.want a security for the other part / children if the other part dies.

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I've never been in love with 2 people at the same time. So i don't know.
Imo I don't think you can be _IN LOVE_ with more than 1 person.
You can love other people for different reasons. But I can't see myself being married with 2 or more people.
I don't think you can love 2 people equally much.

And I don't see why you would want to get married with alot of people. What's the point? Is it the religious thing to show god or w/e that you belong together?

I think I have a hard time understanding this thing (I DO NOT SAY IS WRONG). Because I belive in soulmates :mcry:

OK so let's see...
Love relationships for me is between 2 persons, get married if you like.

If you can't / want settle with 1 person and like another (or many more) person(s) and the other partner(s) don't have a problem with it. Do w/e you want. The goverment should not bother you.

If the religion don't like what you are doing...
It's not your religion... is it? find another one or make your own. Imo you have to respect the religions and not force them to anything, go ahead and have a discussion about it... But i don't they will change anything.

Ohh well just a few thoughts about it.
 
ZenCat said:
I am still scratching my head over the original question though... if gay marriages are allowed, then polygamists will have to be too? I don't get it. What does a committed, monogamous same-sex marriage have in common with polygamy?
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Yeah, I agree. A marriage between MEN and WOMEN (no matter how many there are) is nothing like a marriage between two men or two women. How is a gay relationship like polygamy in ANY way? Controversial, maybe, but other than that, they're completely different!

Personally, why should we stop people who want to slap on the ball and chain? If they're of age (that's the one area I strongly disapprove of with polygamy: underage girls) then let them go for it. Who cares? Let's all be miserable in our marriages together! Huzzah!
 
Can you imagine the hassle of a polygamist divorce?:m035:

Forget losing half your stuff...
 
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I see nothing wrong with polymagy, nor have I ever in the past. I remember when I was young I was scolded in preschool for asking "what if two men or two ladys want to marry?" (note, this was long before I knew I was gay) and I got scolded ALOT by the teachers there. Then because I had a huge mouth as a child, nor any social cues at all. I asked "What if a bunch want to get married?" Then I got sent to the pervabal time out, where I cried as usual, haha. I simply didn't see a fault with it, and was just curious if it has ever happened. Thankgoodness for my wonderful mom who made me feel all better when I got home :)
 
Ultimately, I think it comes down to the fact that most (modern, human) polygamist states are patriarchal. What I see (from my distance, as a monogamist individual) is that it is highly doubtful that these societies (especially white, christian* polygamist societies) are entirely consensual.

I believe any non-consensual relationship equates to slavery. And that's what I would consider wrong about polygamy.

(And the question of polygamy has no place in a comparison to consensual same-sex marriages.)

*Most christian societies are patriarchal.
 
ZenCat said:
*Most christian societies are patriarchal.
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All Christian societies are patriarchal, otherwise they are not Christian. The New Testament states that women are allowed no authority over man. It wasn't stated in any way that could have any other possible meaning, therefore no Christian society can be either feminist, humanist or matriarchal.
 
I have no argument with that clarification.
 
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