Till death do us part or as long as i love you | INFJ Forum

Till death do us part or as long as i love you

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Barnabas, Feb 15, 2010.

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  1. Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

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    It's come to my attention that people are changing there wedding vows from "till death do us part" to "As Long As Love Shall Last". I must admit this seems kinda rediculous to me, Isn't the point of marriage to be a bond that says I'll love you and only love you, not I'll love you as long as I love you.


     
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  2. snail

    snail Newbie

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  3. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    I will agree that is ridiculous...That is just dooming something for failure. Some times marriages fail, but that doesn't mean we should have a clause in the wedding vows for just such an instance.

    But I am always, and ever will be pro choice. To each their own I spose
     
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  4. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    You've got the definition down. I agree. It's dumb. What a waste of everyone's time and money.

    Let's just do away with the institution entirely!
     
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  5. Roger

    Roger ...

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    I think marriage, whole things should be taken as bond for forever and from heart. Otherwise it will fail. Marriage means share your life and its every moments with your partner.
     
  6. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    The meaning of marriage changes with the generation that is actually getting married. In essence they define what it really means. Because of this I don't see much of a problem with it.

    I would love to one day marry someone, and I want it to be an everlasting bond. Yet, I don't like the idea of "till death do us part". That makes it sound forced. People do indeed fall out of love, and it is a terribly sad thing. If you do fall out of love though, one should not have to remain bound.
     
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  7. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Well, why not just continue to stay together for however long it lasts then? What's the point of actually getting married if it's not a mandatory lifetime commitment?
     
  8. IndigoSensor

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    For me it is a status thing (and you know quite well how much I love statuses and labels). This is sort of the order I see, more or less, dating --> going out --> a relationship --> engaged --> Married. Being married is the deepest you can go, and by having that label it makes it feel as secure and deep as ever.
     
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  9. OP
    Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

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    that brings up another question, what is the point of marriage?

    Recently it's changed a great deal, over the last two to three hundred years it's changed drastically.
     
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  10. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    I have to agree with ACD, I personally don't need marriage to show people that I love this person.

    I also I'm not a fan of saying you should stay with someone if you can't love them.
     
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  11. MrCoffee

    MrCoffee ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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    If people are going to do stuff like that, I don't think them changing the words of their vows is going to make them any more likely to stay together. Then again, I'd change that line in my vows to "Till yous a bitch."

    :m090:
     
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  12. PSchickadee

    PSchickadee Regular Poster

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    Hey, we're all a bitch temporarily sometimes.... :)

    Here's my take on that (which I didn't even know was going on, but we're so far away from the pulse I don't even know where the arm is...):

    Marriage is a contract. What you choose to put in your contract is none of my business. You get married where you like, when you like, by whomever you want, and it's not my concern. We got hitched in December years ago for the tax benefit (the timing, we were going to get married anyway), which (besides healthcare) is probably a key reason for some not-totally-gaga-for-each-other folks to get married these days anyway.

    For my own experience, it won't likely end at death. We used to joke "The only way you're gettin' out of this marriage is in a body bag..." But now the hubby wants dibs on my soul too, should we be fortunate enough to get somewhere everlasting together. So for our marriage, it's not enough that we're here now together, we got the everlasting contract :) And I'm happy with that. If one of us eats it first, the other will have to last here (sans-suicide) until their own bitter end, at which point we may be reunited. That's love, imho.:m027:
     
    #12 PSchickadee, Feb 15, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2010
  13. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

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  14. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    I think it's great that (at least in many instances) our culture is finally in a time and place where the decision to get married is first and foremost, a choice. I know there are religious and cultural influences that can nullify this "choice" aspect for some people; but by and large, I think it is a choice.

    Personally, I'm undecided about marriage. I don't want to feel stifled.
     
    #14 Soulful, Feb 16, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2010
  15. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    For me, they did the right thing in the wrong way.

    Yes, love can end and marriage can fails, but my problem would be : Do you really have to say it out loud? IN the marriage-- the beginning (or at least the opening) of that life?

    How about, say, a toddler's birthday. "Happy Birthday! Here's wishing you longevity and good health, as long as you're alive."

    To me, that's a way too cynical. But maybe those married couples do know that and are trying to enjoy it as long as it can so...kudos to them, I suppose?
     
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  16. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    falling out of love is sad :m169:

    I wonder how people sustain their marriage<---- maybe couples who are close friends sustain it better than the ones who aren't
     
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  17. under skies

    under skies Community Member

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    I don't mean to pass judgement under any circumstances, but I have difficulty in seeing the point in getting married at all if there is at any time even the smallest amount of doubt that the relationship will last.

    But I am biased in the first place because I am not a huge fan of the idea of getting married, anyway.
     
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  18. SpaceCowgirl

    SpaceCowgirl vanilla cat

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    I guess it's a practical view. There is always a chance that the relationship won't last no matter how committed you are. No one person is your soul mate who your destined to be with. Changing the vow seems unnecessary though. If your marrying someone then it should be at least extremely likely that you'll spend the rest of your lives together. Why plan for something unfortunate and unforeseeable that probably won't happen, when you can plan for something amazing that probably will?
     
  19. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    Seriously why bother?

    Sounds like commitmentphobes that still want the whole "wedding day" experience or like Indy said, the status.
     
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  20. Faye

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    I thought that marriage was a legal contract similar to a business transaction and had nothing to do with love? Silly me.... The "till death do us part...." was the no-return policy.
     
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