The value of a "crush" | INFJ Forum

The value of a "crush"

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Nov 19, 2009.

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  1. Gaze

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    We all have crushes, or people who we like or admire, someone who find interesting or appealing for some reason, but what does it all mean:m083:?

    So, i'm curious, what's a "crush" in your view, and what does it mean?

    How do you separate a crush from true feelings for someone since they're both so easily confused?
     
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    #1 Gaze, Nov 19, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2009
  2. yumiii

    yumiii Community Member

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    Interesting question.
    A 'crush' for me would be someone I'd like beyond mere appearance. Someone I can talk to for long periods of time without ever getting bored. The only person who can effectively distract/relieve me when I experience and/or feel overwhelming emotions.
    The one who can make me smile and laugh in my worst days.
    That one person I can't figure out. [Ha, no. That's just me.]

    It's actually just that, a crush. You'd be lucky if that crush returns your feelings, though. It'd certainly be nice.

    As for how to differentiate...easy. I use my intuition. Haha. It's more like, I instinctively go and ask myself 'Is this it?' and then I'd get either a 'Yes' or a 'No.'

    Pretty darn accurate, too. :)
     
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  3. sassafras

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    I get crushes on people all the time and they're gender neutral. To me, it just means that I don't know that person very well, but I find them interesting or attractive in some way and have a friendly affection for them. I guess you can call it a "friend crush." I got a few on these forums :D

    As for romantic crushes, I think its sort of the same except I'm interest in them isn't platonic and there's often a sexual attraction component. These types of things can also escalate and sometimes turn into full-on puppy love or romantic affection but it's not the same thing as love. Nor is it anywhere near the same thing as a "Friend Crush."

    Romantic crushes come few and far between for me.
     
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    #3 sassafras, Nov 19, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2009
  4. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    When I have had crushes, I remember the people having traits that are more developed than mine or possessing traits that I don't posses myself, but would like to. That's why the value of a crush to me remains little; I don't think we should date what we lack but become/improve on what we lack.

    For example, people with profound political intellectual views that are outside of the box and bit 'dark' for most people, I admire a lot. Most of my ideas I don't come up with on my own but collect bits and pieces from people who's ideas I like, and combine them to form my opinions. There are some people who appear to just sit on ideas all day long; that's admirable and quite darn attractive to me because that is not how I am.

    I also tend to admire and appreciate efficiency and nit-picky people. Maybe because I am so free spirited and not naturally orderly, the orderliness and 'no no no, THIS way' is quite appealing. I don't like bossiness though; it's more that attitude that if it doesn't get done, I will do it. Bossiness I tend to attribute to people who aren't willing to do things themselves so they make others do it for them. That isn't what I'm talking about here.

    There's also another type of person whom I probably wouldn't ever be able to maintain a relationship with, but admire and absolutely adore. This type of person keeps the rule 'honor someone's absence' to heart. They try to always talk positively about people, aren't overly gushy and appear somewhat superficial. Extroverted, they make rounds with everyone. This type of person makes sure EVERYONE is included and acknowledged and is the last to take someone for granted. They see the good in everyone and are generally well liked. They have a gold sense of humor; their own flaw might be socializing too much and not being very interested in intellectual topics. They are the 'a little bit of everything' type of person. They always keep busy, have lots of friends, and are constantly trying out new activities. Gahh. Cool people.

    But yeah, those are some traits and types of people I admire and usually crush on. Would I ever pursue them? Probably not. For me, crushes are best lived out through my head because I know my perception of the person is possibly not the most accurate, and I would rather have that bit of fantasy than actually live the horrible nightmare it would turn out to be if I pursued it.
     
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  5. OP
    Gaze

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    Agree
     
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  6. youhemmein

    youhemmein awkward turtle
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    I have a crush on everyone.

    Who wants to take me to the ball? :m096:
     
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  7. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    Slant is just pissed cause she has already buried 6 people that didn't "work out." And now she doesn't have any room for more graves.

    Just throw em over the fence slant... Over the fence....
     
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  8. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    Hmmm, eerily similar to how I was planning on responding to this. I get these "friend crushes" all the time. Completely different then romantic/sexual but there's that admiration for them and qualities they possess.
     
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  9. Jayce

    Jayce Community Member

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    There are friends whom I admire and think are pretty and wonderful and I guess you could call that a crush. I usually like spending time with this person and find excuses to hug them often.

    Then there are crushes whom I admire from a distance. I don't know them well or at all and I find them very physically attractive. When I see this kind of crush my face flushes and my heart beats faster and I smile at them nervously while trying not to trip over myself. There are the people I stare longingly when they're not looking.

    I think true feelings develop over a long period of time after I get to know the person and crushes just pop up then disappear every so often.
     
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  10. youhemmein

    youhemmein awkward turtle
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    So...
    no one will take me to the ball?
    FINE! I'll take mySELF.
     
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  11. sassafras

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    Aw, come on, I was just about to ask you!

    *whips out corsage from behind her back and waggles brows*
     
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  12. youhemmein

    youhemmein awkward turtle
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    *feels silly, kicks dirt*
    I'M going to the BALL!!!! :m164:
     
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  13. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

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    I think I have mini crushes on everyone I meet. I have a weird theory that when you meet someone, and you just 'click' that it's kind of like a crush, whether they are male or female. I just try to keep all my crushes to myself. :)
     
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    #13 Moxie, Nov 20, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2009
  14. yepunsarang

    yepunsarang Community Member

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    Mmmm...the odd thing is, I don't get crushes that easily. I only crush on people I think are worth my time (well, I guess there are pre-crushes---people that catch my eye but that's it. No swooning or anything, so that doesn't count). Crushes I guess, mean that there is "some potential" in me falling in love with them. :D
     
  15. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    I think so too.
     
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  16. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

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    Thank you Last Dawn... I was starting to think I was the only one who felt that way!
     
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  17. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    It's weird because I can have multiple crushes at once and that just disrupts my mind lol, so yeah, you're defineately not the only one :p
     
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    #17 AUM, Nov 26, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2009
  18. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    Of course I'll take you, let's go!! Oh, and I got you this
    -------> [​IMG]
     
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  19. youhemmein

    youhemmein awkward turtle
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    Ooh! That's pritty. I'm afraid you're going to have to fight TDHT for me now. Or you both could take me. Talk amongst yerselves.
     
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  20. OP
    Gaze

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    *watches as crushes unfold. munches loudly on popcorn*
     
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