Tell me about INTJ...
- Thread starter splott
- Start date
This is true. It happens when I'm very happy and in comfortable company, a social butterfly emerges. It shocks people a bit. It's not an act but it is not a natural mode for me. Eventually, I grow tired and need to retreat. I've been retreating for twelve years now. LOL
Here is an interesting bit of personal trivia. I can't wiggle or raise my eyebrows like other people. I can knit them together but my forehead feels frozen, naturally "botoxed". The good news is I won't have any wrinkles on my forehead. The bad news is that I look annoyed or bored all the time unless I smile.
I think it's fair to say most people need to feel safe...but it comes more easily to some. 
Boyfriend is very tall, strong, former Marine with a hobby of Jiu Jutsu, so there's physically safe, and he knows I adore him and he can tell me anything (and has), so there's emotionally safe.
I had to think a bit on the whole "what exactly are you looking for here?" from [MENTION=3710]kiu[/MENTION].
I guess what I want is how to describe his intj traits specifically to him in a way that he'll understand? My ways of describing things tends to a ton of imagery and analogies, doesn't work so well for him.
Also, glad to see someone obviously has good relationships with the intj's in their world, [MENTION=4015]purplecrayons[/MENTION].
Boyfriend is very tall, strong, former Marine with a hobby of Jiu Jutsu, so there's physically safe, and he knows I adore him and he can tell me anything (and has), so there's emotionally safe.
I had to think a bit on the whole "what exactly are you looking for here?" from [MENTION=3710]kiu[/MENTION].
I guess what I want is how to describe his intj traits specifically to him in a way that he'll understand? My ways of describing things tends to a ton of imagery and analogies, doesn't work so well for him.
Also, glad to see someone obviously has good relationships with the intj's in their world, [MENTION=4015]purplecrayons[/MENTION].
I had to think a bit on the whole "what exactly are you looking for here?" from [MENTION=3710]kiu[/MENTION].
I guess what I want is how to describe his intj traits specifically to him in a way that he'll understand? My ways of describing things tends to a ton of imagery and analogies, doesn't work so well for him.
What traits in particular do you think he's having difficulty understanding? Also, is the difficulty in understanding the traits or in understanding how they affect you?
Amen. That's me, except for acts of service; I prefer quality time with someone because I don't need others to do things for me.
Now if you could just educate the rest of the female population, that would be appreciated.
I...am not by any stretch of the imagination an expert on MBTI, but I know more than HE does, so I find myself answering questions about what it means to be an INTJ, from him. It's a little weird and awkward, to say the least! As an INFJ, I have a better-than-average insight, but I still find myself struggling to disentangle his personality-type from things that are uniquely-HIM.
I end up saying things like "No honey, being INTJ doesn't mean you're an emotional cripple incapable of love", or "No, it doesn't mean you're just an asshole, it means you're a NATURAL asshole.
Important things to learn about INTJs.
INTJs are not especially social and tend to have issues when dealing with groups of people because like NFPs they prefer absolute ethics which they heavily relate to.
INTJs are not vocally caring, but they show their love through actions and it can be very indirect.
INTJs have real difficulties with questions that require white lies. This is a major moral conundrum which we live with daily and sometimes we know a response is required quickly so we hesitate and panic. Please don't hate us.
INTJs value space and self sufficiency, if they feel there is a lot of collusion on these we will start to recreate these boundaries. This isn't intended to offend people or to show a lack of care, merely we need it to stay sane.
INTJs are highly compartmentalised in thinking style; at the same time we can be extremely angry with what you just did in our left hand and act accordingly one instant. On the right hand we can love you to our dying breath with the other, so we can seem very contradictory in terms of how we are setting those boundaries instantaneously.
Do be careful not to abuse this, we know very well if you are playing the different card because you are scared of the other; we always follow through eventually.
Thats it.
I just want to say: if imagery and analogies seem alien to the INTJ in question, he/she is possibly ISTJ. Not because ISTJs cannot comprehend analogies, but because Si-dominants tend to have a very specific way of understanding new concepts and the Ni-dominant way usually only confuses them (and vice versa.) They are both exceedingly similar in terms of outward behavior; particularly scientific-minded ISTJs who can seem "N" at first.I guess what I want is how to describe his intj traits specifically to him in a way that he'll understand? My ways of describing things tends to a ton of imagery and analogies, doesn't work so well for him.
That is all. *poof*
Thnigs I've learned about INTJs:
- INTJs actually do have very deep feelings. I suspect that the Vulcan personality was patterned after INTJs when it added the "No really, we have deeper feelings than you. We just don't show them" aspect as well as the once in a blue moon they flip out and go all instinctive.
- INTJs are amazingly deep people emotionally, but unfortunately will attempt to refine their emotions the way INTPs try to clarify their thoughts. This leaves INTJs often paralyzed emotionally until they can sort through everything to a satisfactory degree. I've seen my female INTJ friend lay on a couch for 3 days at a time while she does this.
- INTJs really don't like it when you tell them that they know how they feel, or more importantly try to tell them how they feel, or should feel. Emotional autonomy is extremely important to them.
- INTJs are in fact assholes. It's an unavoidable side effect of their reflexive bluntness. However, they don't intend to be, nor mean anything by it. Most importantly, they're self conscious about the fact that this happens and is beyond their control. From what I can tell, they're the most upset by the fact that others can't seem to see their good intentions, or accept them for who they are. If you can learn to accept their manner, INTJs are actually amazing people who make amazing friends.
- INTJs actually do have very deep feelings. I suspect that the Vulcan personality was patterned after INTJs when it added the "No really, we have deeper feelings than you. We just don't show them" aspect as well as the once in a blue moon they flip out and go all instinctive.
- INTJs are amazingly deep people emotionally, but unfortunately will attempt to refine their emotions the way INTPs try to clarify their thoughts. This leaves INTJs often paralyzed emotionally until they can sort through everything to a satisfactory degree. I've seen my female INTJ friend lay on a couch for 3 days at a time while she does this.
- INTJs really don't like it when you tell them that they know how they feel, or more importantly try to tell them how they feel, or should feel. Emotional autonomy is extremely important to them.
- INTJs are in fact assholes. It's an unavoidable side effect of their reflexive bluntness. However, they don't intend to be, nor mean anything by it. Most importantly, they're self conscious about the fact that this happens and is beyond their control. From what I can tell, they're the most upset by the fact that others can't seem to see their good intentions, or accept them for who they are. If you can learn to accept their manner, INTJs are actually amazing people who make amazing friends.
I think it's fair to say most people need to feel safe...but it comes more easily to some.
Yes but I mentioned this in relation to knowledge seeking.
I am being accused to being an honorary INTJ on this forum (in a nice way), but I still identify strongly with and have INFJ traits... though, to be fair, most tests put me near the middle between T/F. I mention that because some of the above applies to me, so I can't help but wonder if there's a way to describe someone who is halfway between.
The assumption is that the imagery and analogies are appropriately chosen and clearly articulated.
Indeed, watch out for the implicit Ne-Si ism... compartmentalisation doesn't work well on the Ni-Se mind, because it is all about functional definition, not conceptual definition. Sometimes when we describe things in terms of what they do it's fascinating to see Ne users 'panic' because we've 'went off the grid' and we've jumped from describing a car as transport to car as a philosophy of movement.
Sometimes the analogy fits the function.. other times it doesn't.
It is very Ne-Si to believe there is only 1 singular contextual way to interpret an analogy, image or idea.
Shout it from the rooftops.
If you are going to just drop a vague analogy on me with no context then don't be surprised if I misunderstand you. There are a myriad of ways to interpret and I don't automatically know which one you prefer unless you make it clear. In high school, this was the very reason that I dropped English Literature as a subject. In one of my MacBeth classes the teacher started asking random students to interpret some of the imagery in the text. Of course, I hadn't read it. It didn't interest me so why should I? In a few minutes I scanned the text before she came to me then I pulled some random interpretation out of the air. There was silence for a few minutes after I finished speaking. Then the teacher said, "I've never considered it from that point of view before but that is a very interesting and valid interpretation. Let's explore it." At that point, I thought to myself, "This is BS. Next year I'm signing up for Physics instead."
[MENTION=3096]NDN NT[/MENTION]
Sista! Don't think I haven't noticed you avoiding my touchy feely thread. You too [MENTION=3473]InvisibleJim[/MENTION]. It's a matter of time before I wear you down with my charms and you'll be longing for my hugs.