Object empathy

udremeei

udremeei

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
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9 ; inst. 6w5
This morning, I was walking with the dog as usual when I saw that one of our neighbors was throwing out a bunch of interesting stuff. I picked through the pile and found a pile of cloth (I sew quite a bit), and in the end selected only one. It was a big thing, but I figured it'd be useful as backing cloth or for bulking material.

Anyway, I washed it and then took a good long look at it. It's a tie-dyed sheet kind of thing (blue and purple and white), with a hellenesque design printed in black on it. I can see why they threw it out- it's got tears in several places.

But the more I looked at this thing, the more I felt bad for it. The tears can be fixed easily. It almost got sent to a landfill. Once upon a time it must have been a very nice thing to have. The design is interesting, after all (it's a warrior with a shield).

...Surely I could find a place for it / put it to good use?

And then I realized how strange a reaction this is. It's a sheet. A torn up, used, probably very old, sheet. So why in the world do I feel bad about it?

Do you ever feel empathy for objects? Do you usually follow your empathy when it pops up, or do you just plow on through?






(edit) Another example that I just thought of: The other day, I was microwaving eggrolls. There are quite a few people in the house, so it took three loads of eggrolls to make enough for everyone. The first two times, I let the microwave finish and beep, but the third time, I was going to stop it before it beeped at the end.

Then I thought, 'that's not fair to it, is it?', and let it finish- before realizing how strange a reaction that was. The load of eggrolls doesn't have feelings! :S
 
I walk to the train station each afternoon across the concrete expanses of downtown Dallas....sidewalk to street, street to parking lot, parking lot back to sidewalk, sidewalk to yet another parking lot, etc. I sometimes feel so out-of-place, cut off from anything natural or non-man-made. The other day, while walking down the sidewalk, I noticed some nice tall grass plantings and began to feel sorry for that grass. Waving in the breeze, it seemed as oddly out-of-place as I was, both of us subsisting in the same fabricated bubble of cement and asphalt. The grass and I are now friends...and I say hello to it every day.
 
:) You're both adorable.

I have to stop myself from turning all my daughter's stuffed animals, and dolls face up. I feel terrible when they look uncomfortable, even though I know better. I think we must be projecting our feelings onto these objects.
 
Sentimental fools, we are... ;)
 
purplecrayons said:
Sentimental fools, we are... ;)
Click to expand...


Not fools... sentimental based on nostalgia, perhaps.
There are certain objects and even foods that evoke emotions in me.. but it's all based on the memories I associate with them...
I definitely agree with you that it is about projecting our feelings onto objects.

But I don't know about the microwave example in the OP.. I've never been courteous to an inanimate object before...
 
I was really just wondering if I had a special brand of crazy or not. :D

[MENTION=1098]randomsomeone[/MENTION], I've done things like that before. I saved a weed in my garden once because I felt bad for it, having lost all its friends. It grew into a tree/bush thing! I kept it pruned back nicely and in the end it was a nice addition to things there.

:)

[MENTION=564]acd[/MENTION]: Yeah, the microwave thing.. It was even a bit strange to me, that kind of thought. And yet it popped into my head! Go figure.

[MENTION=4015]purplecrayons[/MENTION]: I used to do that with my toys when I was a kid. I kept them all very clean, too, lest they feel unloved. xD
 
I used to, though I'm still very picky about keeping my books, in all their multitudinal glory, as pristine as possible. Sentiment, surely. Rose-colored, fuzzy wuzzy, sentiment.
 
I lost my Pounamu which is a type of green stone it holds a spiritual significance in Maori culture. I was devastated when I realized it was lost and promptly broke down with tears in front of a crowd of strangers. Even now, years later I still clutch at my chest expecting to feel its familiar touch.
 
When I was a kid, certain objects like toys or furniture were my "friends". I cried when we got new furniture lol, I still remember. But now, no, not at all. Although I'm still sentimental about my old stuffed animals and toys.
 
I remember getting really attached to an old couch as a child, and feeling as if it would feel taken for granted and cast off when my family replaced it. I think stories like The Velveteen Rabbit made it even worse...which is why I won't let my kids watch a lot of Toy Story movies (I'm trying to spare my very "F" daughter the agony, lol).
 
purplecrayons said:
:) You're both adorable.

I have to stop myself from turning all my daughter's stuffed animals, and dolls face up. I feel terrible when they look uncomfortable, even though I know better. I think we must be projecting our feelings onto these objects.
Click to expand...

I feel silly sharing this.
After cleaning the basement, I had found that my Wife was throwing out a Teddy Bear. (Wasn't even mine from childhood LOL!)
I pulled it out of the trash bin, and asked her why she was throwing it out?
"How can you throw a Teddy bear away?" I asked. "It's, it's just not right, with what they represent. Love, comfort, security. I feel like throwing one in the trash is a cold hearted thing to do."
She looked at me like I was crazy. "it's just a stuffed toy" she said.
Well, long story short, it never made it out to the curb, but went with other things we donated to Goodwill. Maybe it brought comfort and was loved by some little kid. As it should be.
 
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I apologize profusely to my car for abusing her so frequently. Her name is Satori.

When I wash the dishes, I handwash those that won't fit in the dishwasher. Since they got left out, they deserve a little bit of special attention.

When my ex acquired newused furniture for our house, we moved our dumpy old cushionless sofa to the back yard and used it as the "smoking couch." We had a rule that no one in the house could smoke unless everyone wanted to smoke. So we spent lots of nights sitting out on the smoking couch, smoking and giggling. One morning, the trash guys came by and asked me if I wanted them to take it. I said yes, because I knew it was time to get rid of it and I didn't have a truck to take it away myself. So I let them take it away. I still feel bad. It served us well. sigh.
 
Had to quote some Velveteen Rabbit... =)


"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by
side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does
it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that
happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just
to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When
you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit
by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It
takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who
break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved
off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very
shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are
Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Click to expand...
 
All of your responses are wonderful to read. They all seem to be quirky ways of putting love from yourself out into the spaces around you. On a very deep level - such as cell to cell or atom to atom - you are just as connected to those inanimate objects as you are to your family.

The quote from the Velveteen Rabbit reminded me something a Unity Church does each year around Thanksgiving. They obtain about a hundred stuffed toys - mostly animals - and place them in the congregation chairs within the the chapel. Members are encouraged to hold them in their laps during services while infusing loving thoughts into the toys. My meditation group meets there on Monday nights and I like choosing one in particular to hold in my lap while I meditate. When the gongs sound - I wish it peace and joy. Some period before Christmas, the church donates the stuffed animals to children who need presents.

@udreemeei I can relate to your reaction of the tie dyed sheet. For most of my life I've been drawn to creating "stuff" from material and using an old worn item to create something new felt right. Perhaps the sheet's previous owner placed some love into it at one time and you resonated with it.

As for the egg rolls? LOL....I admit this took a bit of stretch for me. :w:

Here's what I think: Since you were cooking the egg rolls for a group of people you love, the last batch of rolls represented the last of the group. I'm guessing but it could be the younger children? In your mind you were unconsciously allocating egg rolls for each person based upon some arbitrary standard. Maybe 3 egg rolls for the oldest and only 1 egg roll for the youngest - kind of thinking. You may have been in a hurry to get the last ones cooked and thought to not cook them all the way. But the family they would go to wouldn't be cooked "properly" and you didn't want to short change the family member? All of this was projected onto the rolls.

[MENTION=3573]Haven[/MENTION] I hope you find another Pounamu.

Keep infusing love into your objects. It's good for the world.

:love:
 
The only things I get wonky about are books and beads. Otherwise I am more than willing to give it away or throw it away. That tattered book that fell apart and I already have another copy of it---nooooooo....must keep it. That little jar of 20 beads that won't make anything useful anyway....noooooooo...you never know....must keep it. That really lovely card that so and so gave me 2 years ago...in the trash. That stuffed animal my bf from 5 years ago gave me....goodwill.
 
Oh well, you never know. It might help someday. :D

I often have it-- with the silliest things possible. Billboards. But also my 'personal' goods, such as PC, iPod, HDD, etc. :p
 
I was almost sick when I saw 3 of my big Hickory trees snapped in half from high winds, but when my nieces and nephew started to play in their new "Jungle Jim" and making forts in the branches I got over it.
 
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