Is forgiveness connected to self-betrayal? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Is forgiveness connected to self-betrayal?

Oh good! I'm glad I misunderstood you. :)

I wish I could "give up" the memories of harm being caused, like you do PristineGirl. Even after the person says (and means!) that they're sorry, I still remember, still replay the events. It would be nice to be able to choose not to think about it anymore. In that respect I envy you. :eek:hwell:
 
Milon said:
Oh good! I'm glad I misunderstood you. :)

I wish I could "give up" the memories of harm being caused, like you do PristineGirl. Even after the person says (and means!) that they're sorry, I still remember, still replay the events. It would be nice to be able to choose not to think about it anymore. In that respect I envy you. :eek:hwell:
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Oh I'm sorry Milon. But see the memories persist in everyone, I have them too. I think about things that hurt me from e.g. 8 years ago but the anticipation (obsessing thought process) about them gradually fades but the sensation and feelings that come with the memory stay. The sensations are almost like a bad reminder, the bad type of nostalgia.
It is actually only when they ask for forgiveness that I can forget, but often it is restored as 'unresolved' in my mind. Hence, why I have the depressive nostalgic failiure phases.

As I am emotionally hypersensitive, often I tend to give up and move on from the thoughts because as they have asked for forgiveness: I feel as if I'm loved again. So don't envy me because it may be a mean of fooling myself into believeing that I am at least worth something.

Anyhow I think that when one is hurt deep enough (almost always) it stains our 'what used to be' clean sheet.
 
If I've ever hurt you or slighted you in any way, I ask for forgiveness. Friends?

And I know what you mean by the staining of a clean sheet. Paradise lost. Innocence lost. :(

And you don't have to fool yourself into believing you're worth something. You are loved (umm, I mean that in a not creepy way). I love the perspective and energy and enthusiasm you bring us here. And even if you didn't have those things, you'd still be loved because you're you. Real love isn't earned or lost - conditional love isn't real, remember. You're loved and you can't be unloved!

That goes for everyone here, btw! :)
 
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Milon said:
If I've ever hurt you or slighted you in any way, I ask for forgiveness. Friends?

And I know what you mean by the staining of a clean sheet. Paradise lost. Innocence lost. :(

And you don't have to fool yourself into believing you're worth something. You are loved (umm, I mean that in a not creepy way). I love the perspective and energy and enthusiasm you bring us here. And even if you didn't have those things, you'd still be loved because you're you. Real love isn't earned or lost - conditional love isn't real, remember. You're loved and you can't be unloved!

That goes for everyone here, btw! :)
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No Milon, don't be sad and don't be sorry. You have done me only good and no bad. Ahh what you say is essentially what I think too although it is just really hard because most of the times I crave after those I can never 'have' so to say. But I'm going to stop that =) You are right about the conditional love and remember your wise words too Milon :)
 
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