Irrational fear of authority

[bullinthesky]

I think everybody has this at some point. I still distrust authority a bit because not everybody handles it so well. Even so, I realized some years ago that it was not so much that I didn't like authority, but that I really, really thrive in the arena of collaborative efforts. When authority serves an appropriate role on a team made up of other competent people...well that's just fine with me.

Ditto.

Looking back on my entire experience within the education system, it was never with a collaborative effort. It was just "Do as your told, don't question."

And intelligent people like ourselves never get a voice because we like to question. So we withdraw and keep to ourselves. From day one intelligent people are not actively engaged. I only had one teacher who praised the fact that I asked a lot of questions. One. And that was in grade 4.

I'd say most authority figures measure you by your ability to do what they say. And they also measure their own status by their ability to control others.

For me to like an authority figure, they would have to engage my intelligence, talk to me like I'm on the same level as them, and allow me a voice to provide a solution.

 

[IndigoSensor]

If I am able to directly interact with the person in who has authority, I almost never have a problem. I will either like it, work with it, attempt to disarm it, or walk away from it.

If I am able to observe the person in authority to a level that I can internally accept, then I will be able to make judgement calls on whether or not I agree with it, then be able to act acordingly. In this scenario I tend to be slightly less trusting.

If I am not able to observe or interact with the person in power, I become very stressed by it. Depending on what it is, I will either have the instinct to bawk at it, or I will be afraid of it.

My fear of authority only comes about if I can not see the reasons behind it, or I am denied total access to it.

 

[Chessie]

You know, I was curious about this for a while now.

High School was a particularly ugly period in my life and not for my treatment by the other students. Most often I found myself in ill condition with the administration, not so much for misbehavior as for...well, it was just after Columbine and they were sweeping up anyone who could be considered 'strange'. I somehow managed to get lumped in with the goths and other potential murderers. Apparently sitting quietly at the back with a book and not talking to more than a very small number of people constitutes unruly yobbish behavior.

The years and some measure of management of my own life have made it easier but I still get the shivers every year when I have to fill out taxes and I drive precisely the speed limit if I think there's a cop near. Authority is still a beast hovering somewhere nearby waiting to make life complicated.

I can posit a theory. INFJ personalities tend to be 'connective' rather than controlling. INFJ's want to reach out and be with people without owning them. They make calm, considering leaders. Irrationality is frightening and authority acts on a different scale than the one to one interactions that most INFJ's prefer. The rationality of authority requires less empathy for individuals and more understanding of the 'group'.

A 'group', particularly one operated by a frightened or unstable authority, will tear off what it feels to be a malfunctioning or even potentially malfunctioning piece of itself and INFJ persons are ever outliers and different. INFJ's can pretend to be part of these group structures and authority systems but we're aware of the axe hanging over our necks in a way few others are.

 

[Faye]

I used to be more afraid of authority, and it is kind-of a social phobic thing. I don't have the problem any more really- I ask myself what they can realistically do to me. If the answer is not much, then I don't care. I would only be afraid if I knew they were judging me and the consequences could be severe- i.e. if I was going to trial and the judge was after me.

 

[enfp can be shy]

Yes, and I sometimes still do, but only temporarily. Now I almost completely got rid of special respect for anyone, no matter how wise, talented or influential. People are just only people, that's all.

However, sometimes I feel so low, that it's like I feel blessed that someone even talked to me. It makes me extremely happy, like, oh my, I'm allowed to speak with you, that's such a relief. Dunno why I still have this limitation within myself, as if it's generally forbidden to speak to most people. (and I realize some of them probably sometimes assume I'm aloof to the point of arrogance, which isn't necessarily the case, but it may appear so)

Anyway, my classic example from the early days is when I bumped into the big boss of the big corporation I was part of. He kinda owns a dozen of huge cities. A really really big boss in the corporate world, probably the wealthiest person I've ever met. So, we accidentally met, passing by. And he greeted me briefly.

And I couldn't say anything. I almost fainted. Very silly me, but that's how we are usually programmed - to respect those folks like they don't walk the earth, and don't go to the toilet.

 

[Rakawi]

RE: op

I think your conclusion may be misinterpretation. Fears tend to revolve around that which matters most to us, so this is really about finding the flipside of what's dearest to us. No doubt Enneagram of Personality is very relevant here since it focuses on personal motivations. (I'm a 4w5.)

#1) Autonomy: Independence and competence are things we start working on a lot earlier than most given our introspective critical nature. I'm told this is true of INTJs as well.

#2) High regard: Our sense of integrity (especially in youth, less so as we age) is dependent on the approval and respect of our elders... and our peers to some extent.

#3) Individuality. We are individualists to the core. We deliberately see to it that when we flex for our surroundings (and we often do), it does not warp the integrity of our inner-being. (The image we present is intended to be authentic and if it is judged less so, we are offended.)


I think the collision of these values results in a lot of inner turmoil and what I would call "control issues" via unstated stipulations, such as...

We like sharing things about ourselves (on our own terms).
We like blind probing (but not to be blindly probed).
We like connecting with loved ones (when we're good and ready).
We want to be successful or excel (on our own merit, unaided).
We compulsively peel ourselves back to learn as much as possible (the good, the bad, the ugly) so that no one takes the upper-hand because we're acutely aware that knowledge is power. (We don't like learning things from other people about ourselves because it makes us feel vulnerable and threatens our view of ourselves as the ultimate expert on ourselves.)

...So when others express disapproval, find faults, question our integrity etc. it rattles us pretty badly. Then we start expressing disapproval of ourselves. Then we spiral into lockdown and that's the stage of rebound we fear most because it's dangerous to our psyche and physical health.

Thankfully, we get better at dealing with all of this the older we get! --But before that can happen we have to be aware what sets this process into motion.

 

[Korg]

An irrational fear? No. An irrational resistance? Sure.

I don't like the idea that authority figures will leech ego fulfillment from me (aka: narcissistic supply) by observing me act in accordance with their demands. Generally speaking, hierarchical power structures trigger negative thoughts and feelings in me and I can be quite childish about them. It's probably due to a fair amount of projection on my part, to be honest.

This is still true and I've decided I might need to address it. Someone told me what to do this morning and I wanted to punch him in the face.

 

[This]

I don't have a fear of authority, I do however often have a resentment of authority but I think that it's all part of a repressed superiority complex, and I also believe it's the same reason I can't trust a therapist.

 

[Billy]

So I have always had this fear of people in a position of power. But not because I think they are bad people or out to get me, just when they talk to me I assume I have done something wrong. As a kid I was terrified when I got called down to the principals office even though it was NEVER because I was in trouble and I never had any reason to believe so. Even with my parents I would be nervous when theyed take me aside to talk to me even if I hadn't done anything wrong. Needless to say I'm also afraid of authority when I have done something wrong but that goes for most people I'm sure.

Does anybody have this or have you at any point in your life?

I have a similar aversion to people in authority positions because in my experience 90% of the people in those positions are not qualified to be in them, only a few people in them have been able to command my respect and awe with their abilities. The vast majority I find are too stupid or too incompetent for me to bother listening to unless there is a benefit in it for me, in which case I may go along to get along. But simply put, I dont feel that I should be required to respect a title just because thats what you're supposed to do.

I dont really feel the "fear of disappointing" my superiors, unless they have my respect in which case I do understand. But going through life those people are few and far between. I have had discussions with teachers where I brow beat them into submission lol, telling them that I dont need ot do such and such assignment because I was going to get an A- and didn't need the solid A in the grand scheme of things. They hated it but couldn't disagree.

 

[detectivepope]

I hate authority as a reflex rather than a choice (I grew up in an anti-police/authority area), I found I spent a vast amount of my life been told I should do as certain people say even though it was evident (even to them) it was wrong or inefficient. My main tactic is to become an equal (body language, philosophy etc...)then 'suggest' things , even policemen seem to respond to this.

 

[Stella]

So I have always had this fear of people in a position of power. But not because I think they are bad people or out to get me, just when they talk to me I assume I have done something wrong. As a kid I was terrified when I got called down to the principals office even though it was NEVER because I was in trouble and I never had any reason to believe so. Even with my parents I would be nervous when theyed take me aside to talk to me even if I hadn't done anything wrong. Needless to say I'm also afraid of authority when I have done something wrong but that goes for most people I'm sure.

Normal. All of it. There's a group on Facebook for it it's so normal. (Being Scared to Death When Someone Says "I need to talk to you.")

This fear is, like, ingrained into the human mind. Don't do anything wrong and you'll be fine.

 

[uuu]

I've learned to be comfortable with most authority figures, but policemen scare me. Mainly it's because I know they are armed with a gun and/or taser, and I know if they just got really pissed off (unlikely) they could easily hurt me. However things like the principal, etc. don't scare me because I feel like if I'm just nice to them, then everything will be ok - there's only so much a principal can do.

 

[slant]

I always end up crying, too.

 

[bickelz]

The type of authority that is wrong is social authoritarianism.

 

[Howlsthunder]

When I was a kid I had the same fear of the principal at school and feared the wrath of teachers or other kids' parents - all authority figures. But as I've grown older I don't fear but instead highly mistrust authority figures unless they've earned my respect. That said, similar to the OP I also steel myself as I walk through the security device detectors at grocery stores and I brace myself whenever I see a cop though I've never stolen anything and I drive as perfectly by-the-book as I can.

But as to individuals, unless proven to be an expert (and an honorable one at that) in whatever position they are in, I expect everyone to be treated as equals, no one having significant power over anyone else. Anything beyond this just really irritates me. I am particularly irked by airport security in this way in how we are all treated like terrorists before being proven so - and by people proven to be dramatically uneducated and ill-equipped to find one anyhow! And as much as I respect those who have chosen to serve their countries by joining the military, I am rather intimidated and distrustful of those in uniform as well. I dated a woman in the AirForce once

 

[Howlsthunder]

I don't have a fear of authority, I do however often have a resentment of authority but I think that it's all part of a repressed superiority complex, and I also believe it's the same reason I can't trust a therapist.

While I don't know that I can sympathize for the same reasons, my distrust of authority made it really hard for me to look into therapy until I had a major breakdown that, for me, required major outside help. And I think the only reason I'm liking it so much is that I happened to totally luck out and find a therapist who happens to be an INFJ also. Maybe you'll get lucky and find one, too, if you ever need one.

 

[not sure]

Sorry to say this, but wait until you start paying taxes! That's fear of authority, authority personified, because it really costs you. I just delivered all my 2009 stuff to my accountant. Not a lot of fun!

Ditto! Inland Revenue. Now that's scary. I am so paranoid when filing returns. The word audit almost makes me lose control. I'll add the Police to that. I'm a nervous wreck whenever I have to deal with them. I don't know how criminals do it. The sheer power these two wield is staggering.

Otherwise, authority does not frighten me. There is almost nothing from which I can't walk away so, do your worst.