Interesting video | INFJ Forum

Interesting video

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Dec 15, 2009.

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  1. Gaze

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    I think many of us here can relate to this sometimes. What do you think?

    [YOUTUBE]kVesXYhem5k[/YOUTUBE]
     
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  2. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    This is my life... Every day...
     
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  3. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    Well hugs to you both then. This is terribly sad. People can be so cruel and uncaring sometimes. And its a vicious circle. It's all our job to fight this with love and understanding wherever/whenever we can. That's really what the "good fight" is all about.
     
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  4. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    Amen.

    But I admit I've felt this before just from being who I am.
     
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  5. VChosenOne

    VChosenOne Community Member

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    That made me cry.
    I feel as alone as that person does daily,but not for all the same reason.
     
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  6. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I've felt this at times. I've gotten out of the circle, mostly, though...but it's hard. It's real hard.
     
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  7. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    that is so sad, I wished I could huge this person!!!!

    But it is also the one thought that goes on in my head all the time: "I don't know how to act properly" Like today, it was my collegues last day before her maternity leave and I didn't know: should I huge her, kiss her, make a conversation or just say goodbye and good luck...
     
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  8. The Jester

    Hmm. The maker of the video seems to think he/she is the only one dealing with such problems.
    I realise it might seem like this from his/her point of view, but I believe a lot of people have these problems.

    And about the 'being molded by society'.
    Does society teach us when we are young who to reject and who to accept?
    Because if it doesn't, then personal traits of the victim could be causal variables.
    Of course, I can relate to the video, but everywhere in the world people do.
    Trust me, I'll probably be the first one to blame society, but sometimes it's just the easy way out.

    It's so much more.
     
  9. OP
    Gaze

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    No, actually. If you listen to her words, you will realize that she's using herself as an example, not that she believes she is the only one. I think she made this video because she's aware others go through the same things as well, and she wants to create some awareness. I don't think she would've put so much effort into the video if she believed she was the only one affected.
     
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    #9 Gaze, Dec 15, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2009
  10. INTJMom

    INTJMom Community Member

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    I know that pain all too well.
    I was a social outcast too when I was young.
    I felt like a "reject" for years and years.
    I worked on my social abilities a little at a time.

    In February, it will be the second anniversary of the day God healed me of feeling like a perpetual loser.
    I've been much better ever since.

    I, too, feel like giving the author a hug.
     
  11. OP
    Gaze

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    Glad to hear. The fact that others go through this and come out on the other side is good, because it let's us know that we can overcome.
     
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  12. smiffy

    smiffy Community Member

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    ok wait a second!!!! as sad as this is! I need some IN advice or IN in general!

    ok here goes! I am one of those nice people who will always go over and talk to the quiet ones! I find iy really hard that neverIam relates to this, you are one of the funniest people on this site despite the noticeable handicap of being a sensor (joke...)

    On the video it says that these people reject the nice people and yet have no control over this action? I find this hard to understand can anyone enlighten me?

    I have gone out of my way and talked to some loners before (its not easy despite my extraversion) and some of them to say the least were so weird and messed up (and to be honest it takes alot to disturb me)

    but you guys seem cool! does this happen often when approached by strangers?
     
  13. mooseman

    mooseman Local Claviger
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    Very moving. I have been there.

    I was afraid of strangers in general. Nice or not - they were still strangers.

    Now I know it is possible to escape it and that you shouldn't feel bad about yourself for being in it.
     
  14. NeverAmI

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    I am not bad in social interactions anymore because I have worked so damn hard to be good at it.

    When I was younger, I was so damn weird to talk to. I had so much conflict in my head going on all at once that I think no one had a clue what I was talking about. Grade School was ok for the most part. I was in advanced classes, but our class was small and I had fun. In Junior High things were different. I started to become really self-conscious and I just had so much conflict roiling in my head that I simply couldn't speak like a normal human being.

    I got made fun of a lot for being a nerd and I was pretty unattractive to boot. I was REALLY neurotic, like I remember I forgot my text book once for class and I went running out of the room without saying a word. I was SO damn afraid of getting in trouble. I had a TON of fear growing up, I just don't understand why.

    I really didn't like school in the first place, but it came easily to me and I SERIOUSLY wanted to please my parents. I worked my ass off despite all this bullshit. I had a few friends that I would hang around with, but the relationships always seemed more shallow, like there were parts of myself I simply couldn't share with them.

    My parents were never really there to "fill me in" on the lessons of life and so I just had to learn a lot of shit on my own. I always felt pretty distant so it was kind of like I was just some lost soul walking the face of the planet waiting to die. I really wasn't all that funny when I was younger, this was something I eventually built to help me relate to others. I constantly took things in at face value. If someone told me something then that is what I believed, I didn't look between the lines or assume a hidden agenda and that got me taken advantage of more than a few times.

    Btw, I believe my older sister is HEAVY N, which I pulled extensive influence from when I was younger and looked up to her so much. I believe both my parents might be SJ's now that I think about it.

    I don't mean for this to sound like a sob story or anything, it just is in response for Smiffy.
     
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    #14 NeverAmI, Dec 15, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2009
  15. smiffy

    smiffy Community Member

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    my mam is ISFj and dad is ESFJ, my dad is very interesting! they all laugh at how weird my mind is, but its all in good fun! I get along with them very well! just find it hard to understand people who reject people they label as nice!

    i can also relate to being too gullible
     
    #15 smiffy, Dec 15, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2009
  16. mooseman

    mooseman Local Claviger
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    For me it was about not being able to open up even if I wanted to, but just being terrified for being approached by a stranger. Any stranger. That made most people think I didn't want them around.

    Recognizing that reaction and not backing off can be a beginning of a path of healing for the lonely person.
     
  17. NeverAmI

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    I agree, I had a TON of fear in social interactions when I was younger. Terrified of disappointing people, terrified of making others upset, terrified of what others would think of me. I don't know why.
     
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  18. smiffy

    smiffy Community Member

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    ah ok! well its in your own hands to fix that! but i can understand habits that are out of your control!! as you said recognise them and break it if possible
     
  19. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    First thought after watching the video: I've been there, still there. Sounds like the creator of that video is 'defeated' though. maybe I took it wrong or I'm projecting lol.
     
  20. mooseman

    mooseman Local Claviger
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    No no no. I don't think she is defeated.
     
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