Interesting video | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Interesting video

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Dec 15, 2009.

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  1. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    All I see this as is an expression of emotions.

    I think giving some of us, that can relate, comfort might even be what she was going for.


     
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  2. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    Idunno, the "You did this to me" vibe seems to outweigh the "I did some of this to myself too"
     
  3. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I was like that for many years, over half a decade. I had nobody to talk to and nothing to talk about. I still find myself in similar situations sometimes, and it feels horrible.

    I was fortunate enough to end up receiving help, and toward the end of high school I was getting better. This is good too because I did want to kill myself that entire time.
     
  4. sassafras

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    I want to hug this person that made the video. Not because I think that somehow that will make all those years of abuse somehow wash away, but because they stood up and spoke out about it. I count myself lucky to have never gone through such an experience like this; I doubt I would be able to live like this for very long.

    This is why I always stood up for the kids that got bullied in school. Why I don't tolerate it when people make fun of someone or alienate them for being different. Because no one should feel this way.

    And I'm even sorrier to hear that there are people here that so strongly relate to this. My God, that makes my heart squeeze.
     
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  5. mooseman

    mooseman Local Claviger
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    I can see what you mean and I agree on the vibes.

    Still, I have a feeling that just making that video and posting it on youtube can be a turning point for her.
     
  6. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    Well thinking about it that way, yeah, I think it is probably a turning point for her. It helps other people who are feeling especially alone, as well, it even brought some feelings out of me (No tears though, I'm a man. ;_;)
     
  7. NeverAmI

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    Not everything in life has to be taken so literally.
     
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  8. OP
    Gaze

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    Thank you!!! All she did was make a video, believing that maybe somebody else could relate.
     
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    #28 Gaze, Dec 15, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2009
  9. NeverAmI

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    :hug:
     
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  10. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    I'm sorry. I'll stop participating now.
     
  11. NeverAmI

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    :hug:

    I apologize, I meant no offense.
     
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  12. OP
    Gaze

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    No, continue posting. It's just that the focus is being placed so much on the person who produced the video, making her the issue when i think she posted because she was probably just trying to help others understand this better. She was just using herself as a point of reference to speak about it.
     
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  13. OP
    Gaze

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    Thx N.
     
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  14. Afrelen

    Afrelen Community Member

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    You know... as much as I sympathize with that video and want to give it's author a hug. I also want to slap them in the face and tell them that, of all the things to quit, quitting is the first thing on the list. So stop being such a quitter and stop expecting people to just do what you want them to do.

    Harsh, I know, but half the reason I had this problem myself is because I expected people to want to be near me and help me out. The truth is, no one likes to be around someone while they wallow in self-pity and refuse to accept responsibility for who they are. That's for one simple reason: you can't help someone who thinks you're the problem.

    That off my chest, I hope and pray that person realized that giving up only maintained the status quo.
     
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  15. sassafras

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    This is most definitely the other side of the coin, and it is the hard, unforgiving truth. Unfortunately, when you're in a situation like the author of the video, taking the small part of your own responsibility for your situation is extremely difficult. When you're under that much pain, the last thing you want to do is pony up to your part in the situation. You also don't know where to begin. When you lack conversation skills, most likely, you're going to be knocked down more than half the amount of times you attempt to stand up; and that's going to be brutal on your already fragile self-esteem. And you need that self-esteem, that feeling of self-worth, to realize that you are worth standing up for. That you CAN change your situation. That's the whole key to change, is it not? Believing that you can?

    If it really was that easy to "man up" and see the light, there would be a lot of therapists out of work... and the self-help industry would not exist.

    I see the truth in what you're trying to say, but I'm also saying its easier said than done. Sometimes we do need the comfort from others to be able to stand up on our own two feet and fight. You have to have that taste of hope or, at least decide, by yourself, that this is what needs to be done before you can find the strength to change your strategy. That will isn't going to boomerang out of nowhere, after all.

    Imagine, if you spent your whole life believing you're worthless and someone suddenly comes along and jabs the finger at you and says that you're a part of the problem, I'm not sure everyone's psyche would be able to process that raw information. Some of us are not just able to 'snap out of it.' We have different needs, different beliefs, different strengths. Comparing one person to another and saying, 'well, they did it, therefore this person can too...' isn't that cut and dry. Different circumstances, different individuals.

    I don't doubt for a second that everyone can find their way out of a black hole; they just have to find what works for them.

    So in this case, I think a bit of sympathy might go a long way. Practicality can come in after a bit of validation and worth has been realized... gently, and carefully.

    But thank you for standing up and saying whats on your mind. I hope people do not take it the wrong way.
     
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    #35 sassafras, Dec 16, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2009
  16. smiffy

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    maybe not as strong but I thought she should take some responsibility dor herself
     
  17. INTJMom

    INTJMom Community Member

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    According to MBTI theory, some INTJs and INFJs require a time of self-pity when they are experiencing their Inferior Fi... or at least it looks like self-pity to some other types. It's actually allowing the Fi to be expressed so that one can return to normal again. What is most useful to an INJ in that situation is empathy and validation. They WILL climb out of the hole because they're not typically wallowers when they are in their right balance. Being slapped upside the head or being told to snap out of it is rather harmful as it just sends the Fi spiraling further downward... from my own personal experience.
     
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  18. OP
    Gaze

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    Here is her answer to the question of responsibility.
    http://pristinewaters.blogspot.com/

     
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  19. INTJMom

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    Exactly.
     
  20. NeverAmI

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    I think this video is hard for people to relate to that lack Fi.

    It is inner conflict, it isn't resignation, it is an observation of facts.

    It is the constant inner struggle to move forward despite your crazy mind taking you in 15 different directions at once.

    This probably still won't make sense, but it makes perfect sense to me.
     
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