Intensity | INFJ Forum

Intensity

rawr

rawr

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Jan 17, 2010
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Do you consider yourself to be intense or not intense? (INFJ or otherwise)
Can someone be both intense and laid-back, or is that by nature two opposite things?

What causes the perceived intensity?
And on the flip-side, how are people that are not intense?
 
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Do you consider yourself to be intense or not intense? (INFJ or otherwise)

INTENSE AS A METAL FENCE!


Can someone be both intense and laid-back, or is that by nature two opposite things?

Of course, but not all at once. That's like trying to divide by zero using roman numerals, still ain't possible. And if it is, 'twould be a scary day for the floating tea cup around Mars.


If so, what causes the perceived intensity?

Yar. Ummmm, if you're tightly wound I guess. If you can't laugh at yourself, get too involved in anything, etc.

And on the flip-side, how are people that are not intense?



Can laugh at themselves, can make a mistake, don't think too much into stuff. Not to say they don't have the capacity to think "deep" ideas etc, however they don't see the need to. Usually pot smokers. :DD
 
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I definitely would say that I am intense, but I can be laid back when I want to; it's possible to be both, but it's not an even slice down the middle.

Usually I can tell by the cadence of the voice, or the way they hold their face. But body langauge completes the image of whether/whether not I think they are intense
 
(Otherwise category)
Intense but aloof/indifferent--not the same thing as laid back. If I don't care, I don't care--If I care, I care.
I don't know if I am perceived as intense or not but would guess yes. If you catch me at the wrong moment I can be quite scary I am told (as in don't mess with me!). I try really hard to play nice with the other children but I know there are definate times I fail to be as friendly as I should. I would guess that my perceived intensity comes from my authoratative manner. I am very decisive and have a strong personality. I am not a "golly gee whiz' kinda person. My J is very apparent and I am "Come on, lets get this done, settled, over with and move on" kind of personl.
 
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I would describe intensity in a person as any standard mannerism amplified in such a way as to make it an idiosyncrasy of that individual. In this way I am both laid-back and intense at the same time. I seem casual and detached because I don't show extreme emotions in reaction to stimuli. I'm not a roller coaster. At my best I would describe myself as a bit of writing you go over again and again because it made you think. You want to suck the marrow out of that moment and understand it for what it truly is. I'm not trying to be narcissistic, rather this is what people have told me about myself; this is me at my very best. I think that others find my lack of small talk and the blunt style with which I interact to be extremely vivid. I'm not claiming to be profound, I just don't act like other people when it comes to the relationship requirement of dialogue and it seems to be surprising.
Personally, I think that the most intensive of my functions would be the way I listen to people. If someone is talking to me one-on-one I lock onto them. This is generally mistaken as romantic interest but, in reality, it is me trying to understand. My desire to understand is at the very root of my subsistence and it is the fundamental reason why my attention is one-track. If someone is talking to me I stare at them until they are done speaking. Granted, when I'm thinking things over I'm looking all over the place or at nothing at all, but the smallest hint of a noise and the motion of my head should be accompanied by an audible snap of the neck. It doesn't matter what the conversation is about either. Talk to me about how you hate folding laundry and I'll listen in the same way I would if you were in the middle of an epiphany or life crisis. My response will be the same measured observation.
I'll just end with explaining the laundry example. A boy in my class was telling me how much he hates to fold laundry because I mentioned that I had to clean my room in response to his original query of what I was doing after class. I know that the average person would either nod in agreement or offhandedly defend the efficacious benefits of a shirt in a drawer. They might say "It's just easier to find what I want to wear" or "My mom always made me do it so now it's just a habit." I, on the other hand, have to mentally calculate my response. I have to ponder. Why do I fold my clothes? I could hang them up or just let a pile form in the corner of my room.
I stare for ten seconds too long...
"I take a personal pride in the slight crease you sometimes get in a properly folded shirt. On the infinitesimal chance that someone notices, I hope they immediately think 'that girl puts her clothes away as soon as they come out of the dryer.'"
...and get a raised eyebrow in return.
 
me? intense? NAH *waits for lightning bolt*
 
[MENTION=1669]Anita[/MENTION]

Prove that a lightning storm isn't two wizards fighting!
HA! You can't!
 
A friend told me several months ago that I am either
too intense or completely disinterested in everything
around me.
 
I'm usually a laid-back person that can go with the flow, but when my emotions take control I am extremely intense and it can be scary. So to answer your question; yes, people can be both laid back and intense.
 
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RememberWhenItRained said:
Do you consider yourself to be intense or not intense? (INFJ or otherwise)
Can someone be both intense and laid-back, or is that by nature two opposite things?

What causes the perceived intensity?
And on the flip-side, how are people that are not intense?
Click to expand...

It's not a contradiction to be both, just a question of timing.

There are times where I have been described as intense, and these times are when I feel ... well, I call it bearing my (metaphorical) teeth. (And I found out that I actually, literally do that, then, sometimes). It's a falling away of all things except what is in focus and a return to a more primal state. This is a state that needs to be triggered. It doesn't just happen by itself, or at will.

Usually I'm very laid back.
 
Do you consider yourself to be intense or not intense? (INFJ or otherwise)
Click to expand...

I consider myself to be intense.

Can someone be both intense and laid-back, or is that by nature two opposite things?
Click to expand...

I am laid back in terms of expectations of others, but I am still intense in social interactions at times.

What causes the perceived intensity?
Click to expand...

I believe that intensity (in terms of my relations) occurs because I am not so great at reading social cues of others and I can also be direct at times. I have a hard time understanding the emotional state of another person, so if they are afraid, intimidated, angry, sad, etc I have a hard time telling.


Other times I can be incredibly timid and self-conscious which is about the opposite, but that is social anxiety.

And on the flip-side, how are people that are not intense?
Click to expand...

I believe that people whom are not intense often are quite good at recognizing social cues and are also positive and laid back. Usually a person like that gives an overall impression that they genuinely care about and respect the other person.

I have spent a lot of time focusing on catering to the other person when I interact, as to be less intense.
 
I think most INFJs are intense on the inside, but may or may not put that out there for a number of reasons.

I'm intense depending on where the conversation goes. If I don't think someone will give the proper attention, I will be anything but intense. That's to say, if I'm not intense with you, that means I'm probably not invested in our interaction and probably not connected at all.
 
I can't believe no one has made a double rainbow joke.

It’s a double rainbow all the way. Whoa, that’s so intense! Whoa! Man! Wow! Whoa, Uu, Whoa, Oh, Whoa Oh OH!
 
KazeCraven said:
I think most INFJs are intense on the inside, but may or may not put that out there for a number of reasons.
Click to expand...
Yes, I'm this way. On the inside, where I really live, I am pretty intense...there is alot going on. However, externally I would be careful not to behave in a way that would offend, overwhelm, or disregard others, so that inner intensity seldom shows itself. In some ways I've come full circle over the years with this (not that I won't do the same again)...so I tend to wear my own inner intensity very lightly.
 
randomsomeone said:
Yes, I'm this way. On the inside, where I really live, I am pretty intense...there is alot going on. However, externally I would be careful not to behave in a way that would offend, overwhelm, or disregard others, so that inner intensity seldom shows itself. In some ways I've come full circle over the years with this (not that I won't do the same again)...so I tend to wear my own inner intensity very lightly.
Click to expand...

Well said. I've struggled with displaying intensity. Once upon a time, i would show my intensity readily, mostly because i wasn't aware that i was being intense. Now, i've come to relax a little and not be so intense. But it's relative because someone can seem intense to me but not to someone else or vice versa.
 
I can be intense. Though I don't know if I'm intense in healthy/productive ways, but I'm getting there.

I agree with whoever said that it (intense/easy-going) is not a matter of contradiction but timing.
 
I'm not intense. Other people just need to get on my level.
 
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