INFJs Come in a Variety of Shapes and Sizes

VH

VH

Variable Hybrid
MBTI
NFJedi
Some INFJs are textbook examples of the personality type, with a clear preference for Ni over Fe over Ti over Se.

However, no two INFJs are perfectly the same, and many of us have developed preferences and capacities in our cognitive functions that have allowed us to grow outside the standard pattern for our type.

Some INFJs have a strong Fe, making them seem more like an ENFJ - intense and bold, outgoing and charismatic.

Other INFJs have a strong Ti, making them seem more like INTJs or even INTPs - brilliant and amicable, insightful and intellectual.

Other INFJs prefer their introverted functions, making them seem more like ISFJs or INTJs - Deep and introspective, logical and profound.

Other INFJs have developed their shadow functions, making them seem like INFPs or even ENFPs - warm and fun, kind and open minded.

Still others have developed an array of functions that are so unique that they almost defy type all together - their own special breed of intuitive and philosophical.

But, despite our additional differences, we are all INFJs. If you've been wondering if you're not quite an INFJ, don't worry. You are. You're just your own unique version of our type because you have developed your mind based on your own individual life experiences and that is perfectly normal. What makes us INFJs is at our core, not on the surface, and our core is sometimes hard to see, especially if we have a lot of additional parts we've collected over the years.

We are all INFJs, no matter how different we may seem from time to time.
 
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Well said...Bravo and such!

I think this needed to be said!
 
You're welcome, guys. I'm glad to help.

I know how intense our quest for clarity can become, and sometimes we need a macro perspective check to remind us that we will focus on splitting hairs if left to our own devices. I've been caught up in this trap myself, and used this insight to get myself out. That's why I shared it, in case anyone else has found themselves in this situation.
 
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One of the questions I found myself asking was "If so and so is an INFJ, and they exhibit those traits, how can I be an INFJ if I don't?" The answer was simple. I'm not them. They have developed more or less of this or that than I have.

I'm an INFJ male. There are going to be a lot of differences between me and an INFJ female, simply due to gender perspectives. Yet, there are also a lot of similarities between me and other INFJ males that are often missing in INFJ females. This is normal.

There are going to be differences between me and an older INFJ, as well as a younger INFJ. Cognitive functions are constantly in development, and as human beings we never stop growing. There is a pattern to how we develop our functions that seems like a series of forking paths. We walk the paths at our own pace, but as INFJs we come to the same crossroads eventually. We tend make the strongest developments in our Ni in our early years, our Fe in our childhood years, Ti in our teenage years, and our Se in early adulthood. While all this is going on, we are also slowly developing our Ne, Fi, Te, and Si. Where I am in this process of development is going to be very relative to another INFJ based on where they are in the process.

Most importantly, my path of cognitive development is my own, and while some other INFJs seem to have taken an astonishingly similar path, many others have not. To me, this is just proof of the solidity of our type. It lends itself to certain choices in our lives of how we want to develop, and some of us make the same choices. Others take other directions. There are clear patterns within us, and thankfully we're not clones, but individuals. Some of us skip ahead of a certain function we don't like and come back to it later. Others dwell on certain functions we come to rely on, only moving on to develop others when forced.

We're all unique, and our process is our own, but we're all alike in that we have the same core design. What we choose to do with it is our own choice, and that is what collectively makes us so beautiful. I am an INFJ. You are an INFJ, but together we are INFJs.
 
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Great Post! The focus of being an individual and going through our own struggles and battles in our own ways make us unique and stronger individuals. Trying to stay confined to a type can limit people in their own individual paths.:m109:
 
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This post means a lot to me, I am consistently being told I am not an INFJ because of not conforming to stereotypical and ignorant views about what an INFJ is SUPPOSED to be. Right on.
 
Von Hase said:
You always struck me as being a very typical INFJ male actually.

Keep in mind that more than 3/4 of all INFJs are females. The stereotypes and descriptions for INFJs are going to likely be somewhat biased because of that. There are distinct differences between male and female INFJs.
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Billy reminds me of a brother from another mother...LOL
 
Well said, VH. We come in 31+ flavours, but we're still icecream--er, INFJ's :)

I definitely noticed such a wide variety of impressions on this very forum. I think it's wonderful how we're so alike, yet different in so many respects. While we have a variety of experiences and expressions, we still connect at the core. We have the same goals.

The OP needed to be said. I'll rep you once I spread more love around. :)
 
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On a complete tangent: what the hell is it with INFJ men and goatees? I even had one at one point, though I ended up removing it because I inherited the inability to grow a decent beard from my mother's side and I inherited extremely early grey facial hair from my father's.
 
Solar Empath said:
On a complete tangent: what the hell is it with INFJ men and goatees? I even had one at one point, though I ended up removing it because I inherited the inability to grow a decent beard from my mother's side and I inherited extremely early grey facial hair from my father's.
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I have no idea. Mine is almost completely white. I dye it to match my eyebrows. Otherwise it looks like a dunked my chin in a beer.
 
I was gonna rep you, Von Hase, but it told me I couldn't yet. :(
 
*rep up* Not keeping you down here!

Sincerely,

Your Benevolent Moderator
 
I think I have multiple personality disorder, because I can seem like any of those.

I'm very moody like that.
 
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