INFJs - Are you a dominant personality?

I can be. I seem to always take leader positions in teams or groups without them being given to me. I just sort of take over.

With friends and relationhips, I try to tone it down a bit, but I'm still assertive enough to keep my independance.

 

Depends on the situation. I can be if needed. Mostly I let others be that. But if I am needed, or if I feel comfortable, then yes I can be. Mostly I like to observe and let others try to sow there oats! I think INFJ's in general are not leaders (not dominant), but we can be if called upon to do so. Especially if it's for a cause they believe in. Mostly I like watching "E" types blow their wads trying to show how smart and special they are. It's enough for me to know internally, I don't need validation.

 

Right on QP.

 

I don't think dominance or leadership is about validation.
Some people are just natural leaders. Not because they want to take over or because they like to be in control, it's because they take initiative and people decide to follow.

Also, it has nothing to do with wheather your an "E" or an "I"...I think.

 

That's also possible.

However, assuming that one is dominant because he needs validation and another isn't because he's confidant, or because one is an E type and another is an I type, is wrong.

Some people just feel involved, and act upon that sense of obligation and naturally take over.

 

Well I didn't mean to imply that "E" types are bad leaders. They are actually better ones IMO. Not that "I" types can't be, they just usually don't wish to be. I agree that many of those who want to be leaders never should be, they are only there for the control. That is the problem with most of our political system.

But concerning "natural leaders". I think the vast majority of them are there for the control--sorry but that's how I see it. Quite a few are also Altruistic, and that is good. But make no mistake, many are there because they want to be in charge and it feels good. It's not from some overbearing sense of doing good that they take the reins.

 

what's wrong with control?

i'd guess extroverts are more inclined to be leaders than introverts, although that says nothing about their aptitude for the task

 

Control can be good when you need to get things done. (I call that taking initiative) But too much of it, leaves no room for flexibility or variety of options, and that's not productive.

 

I can be at times, but only temporarily. Around introverts, if I sense that it will make others more comfortable, I am more inclined to become more extroverted and be the "dominant" one. In small groups, if no one really seems to know how to go about getting something done, I can sort of give others the push they need or start mapping out the "plan." But after I have my initial say, I usually fade back into the backdrop and go back to doing my own thing until somebody needs me again. I don't like the attention, but I will take charge "if somebody's got to do it" and no one else seems willing.

 

I would say I'm pretty dominant in a sense that I do take position as a leader in some situations. I can even be bossy, but never really a control freak unless under a lot of pressure. I would say my style of being dominant, or my style of leadership is one in which I'm looking out to make sure the whole group is happy and make sure everyone is working to do what needs to be done without conflict. I'm usually the one to take initiative in a group among friends or colleagues. Having said that, I usually have a goal or set idea of what needs to be accomplished. However, I do keep an open mind and consider ideas of others, even though I may sometimes like my own ideas better. I think I do it to keep the harmony in the group. Compromise is key, even when you're dominant or in a leadership position.

I'm an ENFJ, by the way. I know this thread was intended for INFJs, but I thought I'd share my insight as well.

 

Nope, I am not a dominant person. I am not one who tends to tell people what to do either.

 

depends on what is at stake.

 

I am not really all that dominant, however I do need a certain level of control. I am also certainly not submissive.

 

I am so assertive my co-worker whom I was just getting to know took me by surprised when he told me I would make a great manager and leader. Either he is very perceptive or my dominance is that great.

 

It really depends---I'm usually an easy-going, sweet, calm person. But I like to be crisp, bubbly, and bright. I hate feeling lazy, useless, and don't have a tolerance for inefficiency. Like other people have said, if i'm working as a team (or something along those lines) and my teammates are doing things a questionable way, I NEED to be in control. It drives me nuts.

 

I am often told that I have a presence, and sometimes I agree that I do. I am pretty level headed and its pretty difficult to phase me; I also have a strong value system and I stick to it. Some people might define that as dominance, but when I personally think of a dominant personality, I think of someone who consistently needs to turn out on top and will take every opportunity to do so. I'm perfectly comfortable to defer to someone if the situation calls for it, just as I am perfectly comfortable with taking the lead if need be. I think I'm more obliged to describe myself as a balanced personality than anything else and I consider myself lucky for that; few people are capable of that.

 

I'm reluctantly dominant. I'm pretty quiet, but I have an oddly intense presence, I've been told. People tend to melt into me instead of the other way around. And I've been called intimidating, which is ridiculous, because I'm pretty sweet mostly and wouldn't hurt a fly. Maybe it because of my no nonsense walk, feigned confidence, unwavering eye contact, and the fact i don't let anyone tell me what to do. But I very rarely seek to have influence or power over others. i can't think of anything I'd enjoy less. I just want my own way.