Oh you are very right darkstar, MANY people have told me so. Hence, I don't wanna hurt his feelings and I cant help but feel guilty.
INFJs and counselling
- Thread starter Soulful
- Start date
- Nov 12, 2008
- 14,153
- 1,334
- 0
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2 sx/so/sp
I have no idea. I am not a vengeful person at all, so I sort of just let it go. Don't worry though, I figured out very quickly what went on and fed information to the psyciatrist and it just made my dad mad.
Please do so!!! He was really evil, and the worst part is that he was going to call me and schedule an appointment. However 2 weeks have passed and no call. So today I decided to pluck of the courage and call. Guess what what his excuse was for not calling? That I havent answered when he has called :S
He was really trying to blame everything but himself.
Anyway, I have an appointment tomorrow at 3pm :/ Do you think I should request a new counsellor? and if so how can I do it without being 'mean' and feel guilty (for hurting his feelings), afterwards.
loves infjs<3
Last edited:
i've been in therapy for years with only one bad experience. i have fairly weak boundaries; they've become stronger over the years--having kids helped--but at the time i saw this one guy, i was pretty vulnerable, in a bad marriage, in law school, raising two toddlers, etc. and this guy's boundaries were as weak or weaker than mine. i ended up knowing far too much about his personal life and he lost all objectivity (e.g., like never, in six years, noticing that i was classically, severely bipolar, type 1).
i now see a psychiatrist who's very empathetic but keeps her boundaries and i see her only for meds management. i see a psychologist i thought was cold at first but it's really a matter of boundaries and the type of therapy we do. talk therapy isn't terribly helpful to me but cognitive behavioral therapy is, so we don't delve much into childhood stuff but deal mainly with how to cope with the mood swings in my daily life. it's probably been my most positive experience to date.
i now see a psychiatrist who's very empathetic but keeps her boundaries and i see her only for meds management. i see a psychologist i thought was cold at first but it's really a matter of boundaries and the type of therapy we do. talk therapy isn't terribly helpful to me but cognitive behavioral therapy is, so we don't delve much into childhood stuff but deal mainly with how to cope with the mood swings in my daily life. it's probably been my most positive experience to date.
Good to hear that it works out for you. The mood swings must be hard to control. Furthermore doesnt the pathology of bipolar disorder physiological firstly? and if so, does that mean that one cannot recover from it?
Wish you the best =)
- Nov 12, 2008
- 14,153
- 1,334
- 0
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2 sx/so/sp
If in your shoes, I would have invarabily said something in session if he did something like that to me. Nevertheless, if there is like a "head" counsler or something, talk to them. You should let him know how you feel though if he starts to demean you again though.
Survival of the fittest! If he's not doing anything for ya, then theres no reason to keep on. It seems clear that (a) he really doesnt like his job enough to try, or (b) his and your communication/thinking style is far different and you are not getting through to each other.If in your shoes, I would have invarabily said something in session if he did something like that to me. Nevertheless, if there is like a "head" counsler or something, talk to them. You should let him know how you feel though if he starts to demean you again though.
You're an ENFP, get emotional! It doesnt matter what he says really, at least you'll have the opportunity to figure out what is wrong and why it isnt working. And if you cant come up with an amicable situation, then find someone else. Theres no reason to keep a bad counselor, it doesnt matter if you care enough to preserve his feelings.
Good to hear that it works out for you. The mood swings must be hard to control. Furthermore doesnt the pathology of bipolar disorder physiological firstly? and if so, does that mean that one cannot recover from it?
Wish you the best =)
before answering your questions about bipolar, i want to say your experience has been horrendous. the guy deserves to lose his license...really. you have to get a new counsellor; this guy is doing you no good. worrying about his feelings isn't helping you either, though i know how hard that is. i had a therapist like that once who wouldn't return my calls even though i said i was seriously suicidal (not something i had ever done before). finally my partner, who knew her supervisor, called him in and i went to the hospital for a few days until i was stable. as a result, the clinic fired her and i can't say i'm sorry.
as for bipolar, yes, it's a physiological illness, neurobiological, to be exact. i respond pretty well to medication, but still need routine, especially around sleep. it's analogous to diabetes in that you take your medication, watch your sugar intake (in my case certain stressors) and that manages your symptoms and allows you to function, but as with diabetes, there is no cure.
Thank you guys for giving me such nice advice. Sometimes it can get hard worrying about others feelings and at the same time keep mine safe. I will do my absolute BEST to just say it without inhibition.
Goood job on that anica Ahh then it is more or less what i expected. I love the allusion to diabetes btw. Not only does it reduce stigma but also tells me that you are a FIGHTER ^^
You are mistaken haha because that is my problem here. I'm hyper emotional. I have my emotions along with taking on his emotions (worrying hurting him) and everybody else for that matter. So I'd say I am rather emotional, Yes.
Goood job on that anica
Ahh then it is more or less what i expected. I love the allusion to diabetes btw. Not only does it reduce stigma but also tells me that you are a FIGHTER ^^
Pristinegirl, I know it's easy for me to say this, but here goes. (My T is coming out here.) Don't worry about hurting your counsellor's feelings. It sounds like he's an ST of some sort - very objective and logical - which is why he can't connect with or help you. Even if something you say does hurt his feelings, he'll get over it. That's what they do. Honestly, you'll probably be hurt the most in saying it, having to possibly hurt someone else, but in this case it really is okay.
Now, if he doesn't get the message, go higher up (or to another agency all together) and make it clear you need someone else - especially someone who can empathize and relate.
IndigoSensor, you have my permission to use your baseball bat if that doesn't work! Or maybe you should do it anyway, just to make sure.
That said, I'm going to my counsellor tomorrow! So looking forward to this, haven't seen her in 2 or 3 months now. I schedule as needed as this point.
Now, if he doesn't get the message, go higher up (or to another agency all together) and make it clear you need someone else - especially someone who can empathize and relate.
IndigoSensor, you have my permission to use your baseball bat if that doesn't work! Or maybe you should do it anyway, just to make sure.
That said, I'm going to my counsellor tomorrow!
So looking forward to this, haven't seen her in 2 or 3 months now. I schedule as needed as this point.
I thought one of the attributes of infj was "Counselor"??
Maybe your counselors need counseling, if you can help them without their knowing what you are trying to do, of course. An infj forum may be some of the best counseling out there. Who knows? Just a seed for thought...
Maybe your counselors need counseling, if you can help them without their knowing what you are trying to do, of course. An infj forum may be some of the best counseling out there. Who knows? Just a seed for thought...
- Nov 12, 2008
- 14,153
- 1,334
- 0
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2 sx/so/sp
It seems like we all help each other a great deal here with our life problems and what not. We may be the "counslers", but not all of us are (or at least not by choice). For me, my friends say I have a "tell me your problems sign" floating above my head, and people will come to me for advice and questions. However, this insight leads to problems with overthinking and overanalysing, and leads us to needing counsoling as well.
Well, I don't know about that. I understand what youre saying, but all this burden that I feel after listening to problems of my friends usually serves as an inspiration. Even when it does not, I rarelly seek councel from others. Maybe thats just me though.
back to the topic:
I used to see a therapist, cause I suffered from severe panic disorder. After 3 years of counseling, nothing had changed, but my therapist was indeed a very kind and capable one. Maybe I was too headstrong? I dont know.
- Nov 12, 2008
- 14,153
- 1,334
- 0
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2 sx/so/sp
Hmmm. Youre probably right. Its not like we dont need it. Its that we resist doing it. Is it because of our ego? Or because we dont want to trouble others? Or is it because we consider our problems insignifficant compared to the problems of those surrounding us? I'm not quite sure. I guess the most probable answer would be the first one.
- Nov 12, 2008
- 14,153
- 1,334
- 0
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2 sx/so/sp
For me it is largely ego, which i hate acknolaging, but it is largely true. For a good portion of my life (most of highschool), I was under the delusion that I could solve any problem I had, and rationalize any "wrong" emotion away. It wasn't until last year at sometime that I realised I was progressing to a shadow state. The one thing that started it, was my ego. I felt like I was being weak by not being able to solve my internal problems and maiuplate my reality as much as I could. And I was pretty sucessful at it for a long time. I was just lucky with it.
Now when I look at it, it is still ego mostly. I don't like to sound weak to others. I have gotten much better with it though over the past year or so. I also realised part of it is I do not want to trouble others with what I usually think are stupid problems. Yet I somehow convince myself that they are well founded.
Have you ever cried in front of a friend because of a serious problem you had?
- Nov 12, 2008
- 14,153
- 1,334
- 0
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2 sx/so/sp
I see.
I once cried in front of a friend. It felt nice. Nice but awkward. As if I wasnt myself.
Sorry if I was a bit direct. And thank you for your honesty.
- Nov 12, 2008
- 14,153
- 1,334
- 0
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2 sx/so/sp
Oh, don't worry about it
See that is the big problem, akwardness. Embaressment/akwardness are the two things that I will avoid at ALL COSTS, even if it involves a big personal loss for me. I can not deal with those emotions at all. And crying in front of a friend falls under that catagory. I even feel a little like that when I have around my mom, but it goes away pretty quick because we are so close. Sadness and emotions related to it are very private to me, and I rarely let others in in that respect.