INFJs and counselling

I don't know if INFJs are more likely than others are. I tried to get my ISFJ daughter into counseling when she was a teenager, and she was firmly - almost violently opposed. I'm extremely open to it, for individuals, couples, families.

I went into counseling at age 24 (low cost, through a church, even though I was not that religion/any religion... it wasn't religion-based counseling).

It helped me completely turn around my life, which was headed in a very bad direction, and I had lost all hope and life wasn't looking much worth living. At age 24, I thought my life was over and that I could happily die. By the age of 27, I was firmly on the path that brought me to the person I am now, only minus all the manic pendulum mood swings. As a result of it, I developed tools I've used ever sincefor coping, trying to understand my motivations for doing things, situations that trigger some of my bad responses, etc.

After the initial few sessions, my particular therapy focused on ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics), which I had never heard of. It was like somebody had turned a light on above the whole world, and suddenly I felt less alone.

I've had a couple of other intervals of counseling, never as in-depth as the first one.

My advice to anyone seeking counseling is to listen to your instincts regarding the person (psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, therapist, counselor, whatever) you're working with. Comfort and ease with the other person is crucial, I feel. If you don't have good chemistry with them, find someone else.

 

It definitely is crucial. Never had the experience, but I'm a psych major probably going into counseling of some sort. I've seen videos of counselors with just little to no emotion and it just begs the person not to open up. Not that they're judgemental or anything, but you do need that connection. For me and probably others, the counselor would have to be friendly and understanding with a welcoming personality and even a sense of humor when appropriate.

 

I was court ordered into counseling... I got the most arrogant, condescending son of a bitch who thought he was doing the world a favor and used that attitude to suppress other peoples opinions and personalities when they didn't mesh with his own. He knew people had no choice but to be there or lose their freedom, and he wasn't affraid to remind them.(I didn't like him if you can't tell)

I went to his director and told him about what was happening and started to take control of my "treatment" and am so glad I did. I sure as hell wasn't going to stay there and bend over for this guy when this should have been an opportunity for personal growth.

It was a 2 month fiasco between me, my probation officer and said mental health institution, but in the end I was able to find a counselor that was genuine and I believe it was a positive experience.

 

I've seen a counselor a few times. He was an ISFP, but pretty decent at his job. Acted as a more objective sounding board for my thoughts and ideas while providing a decent level of 'connection', despite that he wasnt really an intellectual -- I still got plenty out of it. I'd rather have an INFJ or INTP as my counselor though, simply because they can understand N thought processes a little bit better. I cant say that i've ever had INFPs give me good advice.

 

I've had excellent counselling experience myself. My counsellor is extremely personable, interested in hearing what you have to say, doesn't judge, etc. It was great just to be in a safe environment where I could open up without fear, though it took me a while to learn to do that. Also served as a great sounding board for me, and a good experience in learning why I (re)acted the way I did. If you've got a good counsellor, go with it!

 

My therapist was a jerk, who treated me like an object and had no empathy what so ever. I could spill my emotions out and be devastated whereas he would simply suggest that I was irrational :/

 

Thank you for caring soulful! Ao I have heard, but sometimes I have issues on that as well. haha ^^ Because I don't want my new councellor to be nice only because they found out that I had issues with my former one being unempathic. I want them to be nice and realise it for themselves you know xD

I want them to be nice instinctively you know, genuinely.

 

My God! I would've been absolutely crushed if that happened to me! Someone in a profession who's supposed to help others work through their issues and heal, simply listening passively and saying "maybe you're irrational" - I don't know what that would have done to me! *deep breath* I'm glad you made it out okay. If you try again, I hope you have a better experience next time.

 

Oh believe it did in fact have me crushed and I still linger over it from time to time. Mr. therapist was supposed to call me last week but he didnt, so again I am feeling ignored, which I canot take. The world needs love and empathy, I don't understand what a man like he chose a proffession that he clearly cannot master. I have even told him that I need empathy which was so hard for me to say, but somehow he got it out of me. And his respond was: "I don't believe being empathic will do any good for you".

Thank you for your kind words. Somehow it helps to know that people can understand. ^^

 

I have had largely had very good experience with counsilng.

The one thing that many people have already said, is just finding one that you truly trust and feel good around. That is of the upmost importance. I mean, how will counsling be benifichal if you feel there is a block between the two of you.

I have had only one bad experience with counsilng. It is a long story and I don't feel like typing it. In a nutshell, a while after I came out to my father, he FORCED me to see a counsler to "talk about being gay". First of all, he feels counsiling is a waste of time. Second of all, he hemmed and hauned when I used to see councilers with my mom when I was a child. Turns out (i figured it out right in the beginning), he was using the counsler to fish information out of me. So if someone MAKES you go see a counsler, I would avoid it. They are likely not going to find one who is good for you anyway. You are the best judge in that respect.

 

... can I PLEASE whack him in the head with a baseball bat? That is the kind of thing that will make me talk back to someone and or leave.

 

This. So much.

I've never been good at studying, and I've been really confused as what I want to study in college, so I began to go to counseling. My first counselor actually suggested I "take a break from school", *twice*, even though I told her that I already have and I didn't think it was a good idea.

I didn't feel comfortable with her, and I felt she was giving me "by the books" answers as opposed to something that was tailored specifically to my needs. I switched counselors and immediately liked the one I have now. It doesn't hurt that she's quite cute.

It feels really good to talk to someone about things I don't feel like I can talk with anyone else about. Some of the things she's asked me have hit close to home, though. Last session, I was asked, "Do you feel like there's anyone who fully understands you?" I don't feel like I elicited this type of question, but she apparently felt it was appropriate to ask. It hit pretty hard, and I'm still mulling it over in my head.

It's been interesting and extremely therapeutic. I wish the sessions were longer and that I got more of them, but you can have too much of a "good" thing.

 

I wish I had an answer...

As an E/INTP... I pretty much look at myself objectively anyways. :X

 

If I were in your situation, I'd find a new counselor, it sounds like he is the one who needs counseling, CAREER counseling.

And to respond to the original poster, I would probably be receptive to counseling, however, I would need to find one that didn't' brush off my issues.
I tend to use my friends as counselors, which can tend to push them away. But on the other hand, when someone comes looking for my advice, I actually enjoy helping them.