INFJs and birthdays
- Thread starter Grey Wolf
- Start date
Yeah, i used to celebrate them. It's nice to have that one day of the year, which makes you feel a little special. But i don't celebrate the way I did when i was younger. It's more a nice, relaxed, day spent with friends. Doing something different and relaxing. That's pretty much how i celebrate it. No grand expectations.
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haha yeah If I could celebrate them thats they way i'd do it too. only prob is now we're all so busy we dont really have that much time to spare. at least last night I had some fun with a few old friends haha. I hate those big big things where a friend calls everyone to come celebrate it or like my friend who had six cakes in a day HAHA thats pretty much why I dont really celebrate now
I have a strangeness when it comes to birthdays.
I'm really good at remembering people's birthdays, though I rarely do anything special other than say happy birthday to them, unless no one has done anything for them, at which point I usually try to make up for everyone else's inconsiderateness by summoning up some close friends for dinner or hanging out someplace.
At the same time, I ignore and downplay my own birthday, and prefer that a big fuss isn't made about it... but if the people who are close to me don't remember it I feel hurt... as if they should remember it because I remember theirs. I'm not expecting gifts of any kind, and would probably crawl under a bed and hide if someone threw me a party... but it's really nice to know I'm cared about enough to acknowledge that someone remembered what day my birthday was.
However, I patently refuse to tell people how old I am, unless forced, and I don't know why other than I prefer to avoid arbitrary labels when the connotation doesn't apply to me. It's like telling people my age is lying to them about who I am because of the expectations associated with it. But, I think this issue is less related to birthdays than my need for being true to myself (my strong Fi and Fe mix), as it applies to a few other things such as "Where are you from?" or "What religion are you?"
I'm really good at remembering people's birthdays, though I rarely do anything special other than say happy birthday to them, unless no one has done anything for them, at which point I usually try to make up for everyone else's inconsiderateness by summoning up some close friends for dinner or hanging out someplace.
At the same time, I ignore and downplay my own birthday, and prefer that a big fuss isn't made about it... but if the people who are close to me don't remember it I feel hurt... as if they should remember it because I remember theirs. I'm not expecting gifts of any kind, and would probably crawl under a bed and hide if someone threw me a party... but it's really nice to know I'm cared about enough to acknowledge that someone remembered what day my birthday was.
However, I patently refuse to tell people how old I am, unless forced, and I don't know why other than I prefer to avoid arbitrary labels when the connotation doesn't apply to me. It's like telling people my age is lying to them about who I am because of the expectations associated with it. But, I think this issue is less related to birthdays than my need for being true to myself (my strong Fi and Fe mix), as it applies to a few other things such as "Where are you from?" or "What religion are you?"
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I share a birthday, so I feel less awkward about it. But still, my sister and I won't open presents with people there XD It's too embarrassing.
I love other people's birthdays though - present shopping is a wonderful thing.
I love other people's birthdays though - present shopping is a wonderful thing.
I know this thread is directed towards INFJ's (why do you guys get all the fun?) but I personally have a love/hate relationship with birthdays. Every year is closer to death and I felt that I haven't accomplished in life what I need to do. Time is running out, my birthday is simply a reminder of that. I don't really celebrate birthdays, I have a hard enough time trying to remember them, but I enjoy making the birthday food and cake. Its hard in a big family because you have birthdays all the time, It can get rather costly (not to mention the excess weight that comes with them)
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Even as a kid I disliked birthdays and tollerated them, as something to be put up with, just to make my relatives happy.
I didn't really start celebrating my birthday until I turned 60. My 50s were a horrible decade for various and sundry reasons and I had no reason to believe my 60s would be better, but my older son flew up from LA and he, his brother, Jules and I went to my favorite restaurant for lunch. Paul may even have stopped by for dessert--I don't remember--but it was such a lovely thing to be surrounded by the people I love and eat my favorite food in a relaxed atmosphere.
We did pretty much the same thing the next year, but this year my older son Chase was in town early and had to go back to work before my or Tom's birthday, so we stretched the celebration out over a week, which is definitely the way to go. I celebrated in the morning with Paul and went out to dinner with Jules that night. I could get addicted to birthdays.
We did pretty much the same thing the next year, but this year my older son Chase was in town early and had to go back to work before my or Tom's birthday, so we stretched the celebration out over a week, which is definitely the way to go. I celebrated in the morning with Paul and went out to dinner with Jules that night. I could get addicted to birthdays.
Everyone who knows me well is aware that I think of my birthday in a form of national holiday, or in my case a national holiday week 
since I tend to gather with my chosen friends during all that week around my birthday in smaller groups.
When I was younger I hated my birthday because my mom would be the one organizing all celebrations, including mine, which means constant yelling if only one thing doesn't go according to her plan, and as we all know it when you are like she is, almost never things go according to the plan. Those were excessively stressful times for me, and now that I'm the one organizing things the way I like it, every birthday is celebrated in a relaxing atmosphere with my closest friends, and I enjoy every minute of it.
I think that view of a birthday largely depends on the general glass half full/empty perception. My is usually half full, so I don't see my birthdays as one year closer to death, but rather of a celebration of all the things I've accomplished so far and as a celebration of my existence that I cherish so much.
since I tend to gather with my chosen friends during all that week around my birthday in smaller groups. When I was younger I hated my birthday because my mom would be the one organizing all celebrations, including mine, which means constant yelling if only one thing doesn't go according to her plan, and as we all know it when you are like she is, almost never things go according to the plan. Those were excessively stressful times for me, and now that I'm the one organizing things the way I like it, every birthday is celebrated in a relaxing atmosphere with my closest friends, and I enjoy every minute of it.
I think that view of a birthday largely depends on the general glass half full/empty perception. My is usually half full, so I don't see my birthdays as one year closer to death, but rather of a celebration of all the things I've accomplished so far and as a celebration of my existence that I cherish so much.
I... am a huge fan of my birthday. Maybe because that's when I got a lot of appreciation for being me, and that it was given to me by my family. I had a hard time being different as a child, and my birthday enabled me to realize that even though I was different, I was/am still loved.
Typically the years I had family-only parties were the best as they were more intimate and warm and fuzzy. Ya.
Typically the years I had family-only parties were the best as they were more intimate and warm and fuzzy. Ya.
I enjoy my birthday, but do like to keep them low key. I don't advertise that it is coming up which I think some people do.
My most uncomfortable birthday was when I turned 13.
We went to visit my Sister in Illinois, and went to a Greek restaurant in downtown Chicago one evening to celebrate.
I loved it, up to the point dessert came and these Greek waiters started singing happy birthday to me and making a huge production out of it.
(The pronunciation of my name Dale as Deli is still etched in my mind.)
I wanted to crawl under the table. I never have coped well with being placed in the spot light.
My most uncomfortable birthday was when I turned 13.
We went to visit my Sister in Illinois, and went to a Greek restaurant in downtown Chicago one evening to celebrate.
I loved it, up to the point dessert came and these Greek waiters started singing happy birthday to me and making a huge production out of it.
(The pronunciation of my name Dale as Deli is still etched in my mind.)
I wanted to crawl under the table. I never have coped well with being placed in the spot light.
I've always liked my birthday. Part of it is probably becaus I was born 3 minutes before Halloween, so that's kind of a special thing that sets my birthday apart (for me anyway.) I used to have birthdays with themes, since it was so close to Halloween. Unfortunately, the kids I invited never really had the... maturity, I guess? To appreciate my parties. I usually ended up getting upset and a bit bossy on my birthday because people weren't taking it seriously. It's pretty embarassing, actually, looking back.
I eventually came to my senses and stopped having real parties. Mostly just going to a movie with close family members or just staying home and having cake. Never presents, though. I don't really need or expect presents on any special day.
I eventually came to my senses and stopped having real parties. Mostly just going to a movie with close family members or just staying home and having cake. Never presents, though. I don't really need or expect presents on any special day.
I.....dunno. I feel a bit mixed about birthday.
I feel happy, because I can ask for presents. And sometimes, getting it.
I feel unhappy, for the attention. And the facebook wall getting filled with empty congratulations.
On the other hand..their congratulations is still a congratulation. I'm somewhat happy here. Even when it's up there in the home page, at least people still spend their time saying happy birthday to me
Now for others, when I'm in the mood, I wrote a facebook wall to them. Wishing them a happy birthday and all the wishes (hopefully personally written). Otherwise..it's just empty courtesy.
Personally, I love my birthday. Mainly because a year has gone already, with all the good, bad, ugly, lovely, meaningful, empty stuffs that's all happening. Another year until the end, and another year for happiness.
So..I pray. for this year to be a better year. For this year to be a meaningful, happy year. For me and everyone.
I feel happy, because I can ask for presents. And sometimes, getting it.
I feel unhappy, for the attention. And the facebook wall getting filled with empty congratulations.
On the other hand..their congratulations is still a congratulation. I'm somewhat happy here.
Even when it's up there in the home page, at least people still spend their time saying happy birthday to me Now for others, when I'm in the mood, I wrote a facebook wall to them. Wishing them a happy birthday and all the wishes (hopefully personally written). Otherwise..it's just empty courtesy.
Personally, I love my birthday. Mainly because a year has gone already, with all the good, bad, ugly, lovely, meaningful, empty stuffs that's all happening. Another year until the end, and another year for happiness.
So..I pray. for this year to be a better year. For this year to be a meaningful, happy year. For me and everyone.
I don't like birthdays... I like celebrating other people's birthdays but not mine.
I always wanted my family to be happy especially when celebrating our birthdays but I guess that never happened.
All I want for my birthday is to see my relatives happy and together. So, I prefer other celebrations than birthday because it's like the attention is all given to you and it's for you "only".
I like Christmas better
I always wanted my family to be happy especially when celebrating our birthdays but I guess that never happened.
All I want for my birthday is to see my relatives happy and together. So, I prefer other celebrations than birthday because it's like the attention is all given to you and it's for you "only".
I like Christmas better
just had a b-day. im 28 now.
i kinda loathe the birthday song... glad that i didnt hear it this year.
not into b-day parties either
i'd just like to chill with friends... maybe have a special beer
mom has always made me strawberry cake... and i love that little tradition
i kinda loathe the birthday song... glad that i didnt hear it this year.
not into b-day parties either
i'd just like to chill with friends... maybe have a special beer
mom has always made me strawberry cake... and i love that little tradition
I enjoy other people's birthdays, and try my hardest to make it special for them.
As for my birthday, I enjoy, because I rarely see my whole family together, and that's always nice. However, I thoroughly dislike the attention, and as much as I like presents, I hate having people watching me open them, because I find that if you don't gush over it, the person who gave it to you doesn't think you like it or appreciate it.
Also, my birthday is halfway through the year, so it serves as something of a marker.
I don't like people making a fuss over my birthday, and don't mention it when it's coming up, but I do enjoy having a get together with friends.
Birthday's are pretty much for me, an excuse to have a good time.
As for my birthday, I enjoy, because I rarely see my whole family together, and that's always nice. However, I thoroughly dislike the attention, and as much as I like presents, I hate having people watching me open them, because I find that if you don't gush over it, the person who gave it to you doesn't think you like it or appreciate it.
Also, my birthday is halfway through the year, so it serves as something of a marker.
I don't like people making a fuss over my birthday, and don't mention it when it's coming up, but I do enjoy having a get together with friends.
Birthday's are pretty much for me, an excuse to have a good time.