I'm starting to think I might be an ENFJ | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

I'm starting to think I might be an ENFJ

:D If it helps, Von, I think that topic - or the idea of that topic - came up earlier when we discussed the order of our cognitive functions. Remember when you said that, under stress, we would default to the next lowest cognitive function? Well, it only seems fair that if we're living our cognitive functions out of order that our defaults would change too. If we're not exactly Ni Fe Ti Se but instead Fe Ni Ti Se or even Fi Ni Ti Se (or whatever), then the next rung down might not be the same either.

:) If nothing else, Von, I'm glad you're happy and you "got it" for yourself. The epiphany had to have felt great!
 
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Whatever makes you happy Von :D From what I have seen you been doing on this forum you might be an E but I'm not sure. They say that people communicate only 5% of information in words (in written form it could be a bit higher like 10%) but that still leaves about 90% of you that I don't know. If I spend some actual time with a person the difference comes through as very obvious.

Mostly it's in the little things - introverts and extroverts might say the same thing but they do it differently. And I wouldn't rely too much on the test scores because you can unconsciously manipulate them on how you would like to be instead of how you really are. Gathering that information from others who are unbiased is a more reliable way.

If you have made up your mind - that's fine. If not read on ;)

On of the biggest things that separates I from E is interaction pattern. It's pretty apparent from a second or third person view but might be puzzling for the subject him/herself. Simply put ENFJ show initiative while INFJ do not. Vicky explains it in more detail. Remember that anime episode I showed - Alicia (the blond one) summoned herself immediately after trouble arose. She didn't have time to think it through and did not know what was going on but she still successfully defused the situation. That's very characteristic of ENFJ appearance. An introvert might also have stepped in but with some noticeable delay - she would have tried to buy some time and think about it. I just can't tell you how many times I've been through this and later blamed myself for hesitating.

Regarding the stress appearance - this might be interesting. According to it ENFJ automatically "fight" the situation (because their initiative tells them to react immediately) while INFJ most often choose to "retreat" until they fully grasp what's going on. That is also very true in my case. It has given a lot of trouble for me in romantic situations where I was supposed to show initiative but the very though of it stressed me considerably and then I was left feeling like the fish out of the water.

UPDATE: this guy looks like ENFJ :) Notice that he needs no preparation and no rehearsal for what he is doing. Just instant action and some adjustments along the way. It's a bit like magic for the introverted.
[YOUTUBE]l-84anmYGv4[/YOUTUBE]
 
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If you have made up your mind - that's fine. If not read on ;)

I'm always open to opinion, even when I've made up my mind. I could always have missed something, and I love people enough to always hear them out, and be receptive to their wisdom. :)

On of the biggest things that separates I from E is interaction pattern. It's pretty apparent from a second or third person view but might be puzzling for the subject him/herself. Simply put ENFJ show initiative while INFJ do not. Vicky explains it in more detail. Remember that anime episode I showed - Alicia (the blond one) summoned herself immediately after trouble arose. She didn't have time to think it through and did not know what was going on but she still successfully defused the situation. That's very characteristic of ENFJ appearance. An introvert might also have stepped in but with some noticeable delay - she would have tried to buy some time and think about it. I just can't tell you how many times I've been through this and later blamed myself for hesitating.

In that wonderful anime clip, I totally identified with the ENFJ character. I do the same sorts of things and react in the same ways. My regrets are almost always "why did I do that?" and rarely ever "I should have..."

Regarding the stress appearance - this might be interesting. According to it ENFJ automatically "fight" the situation (because their initiative tells them to react immediately) while INFJ most often choose to "retreat" until they fully grasp what's going on. That is also very true in my case. It has given a lot of trouble for me in romantic situations where I was supposed to show initiative but the very though of it stressed me considerably and then I was left feeling like the fish out of the water.

I am a fighter, through and through. I hesitate is when I'm worried I'm likely to hurt someone else in the process, and then I'm not hesitating so much as waiting for my opportunity to pounce. The only other thing that makes me hesitate is having been under a lot of stress for a long time, at which point I'll hold still and calculate my next action more intently. I'm highly a creature of initiative. In fact, this commonly gets me in trouble. "What did you do that for?" ranks high on my list of screw ups. "Why didn't you do something?" is only ever thrown my way when I forgot to do something asked too long ago to keep it on my mind, and never in reaction to a current 'challenge'.

I've been in so much emotional turmoil the past two years, due to circumstances that have been almost apocalyptic to the paradigm that my Fe has created, that I allowed it to take a back seat most of the time, rather than deal with the pain it brings when it is driving. That's why my Ni has been so active of late. I suppose this is further evidence of the fact that the emotional / mental state one is in when taking a self assessment test is highly relevant to the outcome.
 
Nevermind. I found this.

Ding!

http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ_per.html

I'm an INFJ. I'm just an INFJ with a big Fe. :)

I should have bothered to read this...

http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFJ_per.html

It even mentions this exact problem, ha!

It's even more dead on than the previous.

Apparently, I am an ENFJ with a big Ni.

:m052:

UPDATE: this guy looks like ENFJ :) Notice that he needs no preparation and no rehearsal for what he is doing. Just instant action and some adjustments along the way. It's a bit like magic for the introverted.
[YOUTUBE]l-84anmYGv4[/YOUTUBE]

That's dead on me right there.
 
:D If it helps, Von, I think that topic - or the idea of that topic - came up earlier when we discussed the order of our cognitive functions. Remember when you said that, under stress, we would default to the next lowest cognitive function? Well, it only seems fair that if we're living our cognitive functions out of order that our defaults would change too. If we're not exactly Ni Fe Ti Se but instead Fe Ni Ti Se or even Fi Ni Ti Se (or whatever), then the next rung down might not be the same either.

My point perzactly!

:) If nothing else, Von, I'm glad you're happy and you "got it" for yourself. The epiphany had to have felt great!

It did! Thanks hun!

:mlove2:
 
Now that you say that you're an ENFJ, I can easily see it. The ENFJ's I know can almost become fantical with the ideas and feelings they have. They become so certain of them and so sure of things that the push them and push them until someone bites on it, then they just take things further. It is because of their inate drive to just relate to everyone. Backed up by Ni, which gives them all the drive behind the ideas they have it all comes together and makes sense to why they are the way that they are. You seem very much like this. You get insight and ideas and you just completely go with them with great certainty with them. You need to express them and share them.
 
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Now that you say that you're an ENFJ, I can easily see it. The ENFJ's I know can almost become fantical with the ideas and feelings they have. They become so certain of them and so sure of things that the push them and push them until someone bites on it, then they just take things further. It is because of their inate drive to just relate to everyone. Backed up by Ni, which gives them all the drive behind the ideas they have it all comes together and makes sense to why they are the way that they are. You seem very much like this. You get insight and ideas and you just completely go with them with great certainty with them. You need to express them and share them.

I am so glad you see this. I value your insights a lot. You've always been extremely astute.

I think what you're seeing is dominant Fe manifesting as a need to express how I feel things are or should be. My Ni helps me find the reasons. I'm less prone to profound insights as I am profound explanations for my insights. Again, very ENFJ.
 
Welcome to ENFJ-dom! :D

We needed a confirmed ENFJ on this site. It's sad we don't have more -- they're pretty damn awesome.
 
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Oh the grand-master, teach me how to do this :hail:

Bold confidence is something I was born with. I can't help you here. I was constantly in trouble as a child for speaking to anyone that I pleased from the time I was able to talk. You'll just have to force yourself into this until it becomes second nature.

Insight is something you should have in excess as an INFJ. I've always been able to read people like how to books with big print and lots of pictures. When I was a child and constantly in trouble for talking to strangers, I distinctly remember being able to sense whether someone was good or bad. I never talked to bad people. My mother comments on that ability to this day, because the few times I told her that one of her friends was bad, I turned out to be astonishingly correct, despite my age.

I genuinely care about people. My charisma comes from this factor, and little other. As an Fe secondary, you should also have a fair amount of this.

Now, the trick?

Use your insight and ability to read people with your sincere reflex to care about them in real time and know that you're going to make their lives better when you do.

Wala, you're now an honorary ENFJ.

:m027:
 
Aww thanks hun! You're pretty darned awesome too!

Ha! My ENFJ friend calls me hun all the time -- doesn't have much to do with anything, but it made me laugh a little :D
 
Ha! My ENFJ friend calls me hun all the time -- doesn't have much to do with anything, but it made me laugh a little :D

I'd wager that Fe has a lot to do with the 'hun' endearments. My other Fe people do the same thing. I never associated it with Fe dominance until now. Heh, thanks!

Maybe I should start a ENFJ Helpline thread. Hehe.
 
What would the ENFJ Helpline thread encompass?

And, y'know, I kind of think that's true -- now that I think of it, a lot of my ENFJ friends tend to use pet names :B Albeit weird ones, sometimes
 
"Hun" does seem like an ENFJ thing, because one of them that I know use that word quite often. I think there are word quirks for each type, and I guess this is one for ENFJ's.
 
What would the ENFJ Helpline thread encompass?

And, y'know, I kind of think that's true -- now that I think of it, a lot of my ENFJ friends tend to use pet names :B Albeit weird ones, sometimes

I'd just set it up for people to ask me any questions they want about ENFJs, and then I'd answer them to the best of my ability.

:m159:
 
That'd be neat :D They should have one of those for every type
 
I've always been able to read people like how to books with big print and lots of pictures.

I remember this from when I was in a relationship with an awesome ENFJ girl - she thought that she could read me but in hindsight she has never truly understood me (and no one ever did until years later I met another INFJ). It's like she has read the first page and then stopped for being too busy with making people happy I guess. That saddened me at the time.
 
Heh, they'd need a good moderator for each.

Though, I nominate Quin for the ISFP. Hehe.

Yeah, for sure :D They already have a sort of ENTP ask-us-anything thread...I vote Duty for INTP and alt ctrl del for INFP