"I hate people." Why people say it/you say it? | INFJ Forum

"I hate people." Why people say it/you say it?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Hinsoog, Aug 14, 2009.

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  1. Hinsoog

    Hinsoog Community Member

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    "I hate people!" It's something I hear all of the time from a wide variety of people, most of which are coworkers. I suspect that almost everyone can relate to it or have heard many people mutter it. I often search myself and them for exactly where the statement comes from. Obviously, on a topical level it's always easy to spot. In customer service-related jobs you occasionally take in every sort of foul attitude and unwholesome character, and so on some days the less idyllic just sort of builds up and feels cumbersome.

    I always have to dig deeper though. What is happening in them when they say it? I suspect that sometimes it is a topical annoyance. But other times, I think there is something about "people" that they didn't want to relate to... That, on some level, they know these loathsome qualities connect right back to them... People's neediness, people's lies, people's carelessness, people's ego, people's pettiness...

    I know what it means for me... "I hate people" isn't topical. Many people have occasions where their perspectives get a little more morbid and cynical and then, like a state of mind, it simply passes. I try hold my cynicism a lot closer, and have it basically integrated even into my happiest states. I think that people are filthy animals, animals that have the added grossness of reinforcing an ego in whatever petty way that they possibly can. Many people have a fortress built to maintain the sanctity of their ego, and lie to themselves regularly. I think that on some level, I relate to the need of building a convoluted fortress to protect myself, to feed myself my own propoganda, but I don't bury it, I want to be hyper conscious of it, and then don't tolerate it. If I find the "human animal" in myself from thorough introspection, with at least a distant scent of the filthy air that I have become familiar with, I am deeply repulsed. I then need to see it clearly, and aspire never to lie to myself, and, if possible, to see if my vantage point can place me in a more genuine and ideal space......

    Anyway, I'll stop myself there for now. I want to hear your thoughts on where you think it comes from. What is happening inside of people when they say "I hate people...."? Or better yet, what does it mean for yourself?
     
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    #1 Hinsoog, Aug 14, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2009
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  2. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    "I hate people" for me is usually an exasperated phrase. I don't really hate people. If anything, I'm too in love with them. But they annoy the hell outta me sometimes
     
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  3. midnightmelody

    midnightmelody nagging for truth

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    Same here, oh gloomy-optimistic one.
     
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  4. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    :D
     
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  5. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I hate people in general because most people are extremely insensitive. They don't care about the suffering of others and are often the cause of suffering. These people suffer themselves. I find that many of them have the capacity to be nicer people, but they choose not to be nicer and instead make excuses because they do not want to take responsibility for themselves because that is harder and usually means feeling a little guilt, which makes me hate them even more, cowards.

    I know I sound really dismal, but it is hard not to be when I see such ridiculous displays of cruelty and idiocy so often.

    For me it is definitely not a "topical" statement.
     
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  6. Azure_Knight

    Azure_Knight Community Member

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    I've said it when I am frustrated before. I really don't hate people, but I hate what they do sometimes.
     
  7. OP
    Hinsoog

    Hinsoog Community Member

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    Yeah... Definately... So this is a good example that, ultimately we really don't often feel like we "relate" to them on some level when we witness a foul pattern, and that it is largely outward-facing. We see that people are filthy animals, and also recognize the divide that we represent to be better. I mean, we know what kind of effort better decisions take for ourselves, and then to witness people take that deeply dissapointing route is disheartening... I don't think it sounds dismal, I think we take it upon ourselves to shoulder a more realistic view on people, perhaps to control those thoughts for when they are effecting our state, and perhaps to better equip us for when they are hurting or weighing down on others.
     
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    #7 Hinsoog, Aug 14, 2009
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  8. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    I really do hate people. They make me feel like shit all the time. I'm afraid of the world really. It seems that everyone is out to get me and every reaction will be a negative one, so I have to be on my guard so I don't get so easily offended. That is my general, deep down feeling about it. But I fight that destructive thinking everyday. Even though I hate them, I'll still do good by them because I don't want to be them. Though to them I am just like the way I describe everyone else because of my feelings and guardedness. Every now and then I'll meet someone who restores my faith but they are so rare.
     
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    #8 Orion, Aug 14, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2009
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  9. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    I don't hate people.
     
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  10. OP
    Hinsoog

    Hinsoog Community Member

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    So I appreciate you guys' thoughts quite a bit... And it just shows me that there is a great divide between us and what we percieve in people to feel almost sordid and moridly ugly... That is something I feel like I can take pride in, and not be weighed down by the careless ways of others... And then still remain deeply cynical of the "human animal".
     
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    #10 Hinsoog, Aug 14, 2009
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  11. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    For me, it's like a fuel to my fire. When I grew up, and I don't know if this was a healthy thing to do, I would model my behaviour and who I wanted to be to the opposite of people who I did not like. In school, I hated all those sadistic little bastard bullies. The genuine pleasure they derived from hurting others sickened me. So I thought, I'll be the opposite of what they are. I'll be the opposite of my selfish, emotionally crippled family. So the hatred for these bad things is what makes me strive for the good.
     
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  12. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    It is simply a bubble phrase that people use to explain how the feel in a general moment without being too wordy. Most people don't actually mean it.
     
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  13. Indie.J

    Indie.J Community Member

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    I hate people yet I am so compassionate towards them. I believe a little compassion goes a long way but it frustrates me that very few people are truly compassionate. They are always too lost in their naive selfcentredness. Most people are so governed by how they feel about things that they have almost a complete disreguard for the feelings of others.

    But most of all I hate people for their insecurities because their insecurities are what make them attack others. If someone is afraid of being alone they will bully the "loner". If they are afraid of being unique they bully those who aren't afraid. There is a shear mentality to get back at those who have what you wish you had amongst society. If someone is truly comfortable with themselves they are soon stripped of that because most people have the selfishness to justify their own insecurities by making others insecure. Most people just can't be genuinely happy about the happiness and well being of others.
     
  14. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    I only say I hate people in general when I've run into a few bad ones in a row. When I get to the point of hating all people I've usually got a good hate going on for myself so I guess it's fair.
     
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  15. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    They're sheep.
     
  16. Nela

    Nela Community Member

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    Well actually, yes. It's just true. This really bothers me from time to time. I can't stand it to be surrounded by people who can't think for themselves, and who believe whatever they are told. All their lives they just do what everyone else is doing, and expect you to do the same. If you don't do it their way, you're "weird". And always having to swim against the stream makes life 10 times harder. That's what makes me "hate" people most of the time.

    I always try to treat people the best I can but the fact is a lot of people are just insensitive and selfish, and don't care about meaningful relationships or the feelings of others. That's just the way it is. I know all of this sounds very negative, but the question was "why do you say you hate people?" So well, here it is.

    But yeah, I guess I can't help but loving them anyway*sigh*. As Indie.J said: It's a love/hate relationship.
     
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  17. laurie

    laurie Snowblind in Dreamland

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    I'm always very specific with that kind of thing.
    For example, I say "I really hate certain people", but don't generalise because I think careless generalisations are unhelpful and unnecessary.
    I hear people say that they hate people a lot of the time, I guess it's because we find it hard to understand why certain people act a certain way (such as being completely ignorant of others) and are very careless. It's difficult to understand people who seem completely selfish and rude, because it makes you angry, which stops thought.
    Which is probably why people say "I hate people!" a lot ^^"
     
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  18. slant

    slant Ruboobie
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    I don't dislike individuals, I just hate groups. Extremely good and bad things happen when people band up, whereas, singularity events dont really happen so much. It's just like chemical reactions...in order for something big to happen you need at least 2 different chemicals or more....
     
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  19. OP
    Hinsoog

    Hinsoog Community Member

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    So I think think that this is a pretty good point, that many people will just sort of feel angry for what they will experience as a topical and fleeting reason, and that same fleeting anger sort of stops thought and then they either lash out impulsively or blurt out "I hate people!". It's maybe an easy way to dispose of those insidious thoughts long enough for the emotional state to pass... So it seems that a lot of us here experience it as a much more ingrained cynicism... I think we don't experience anger in the same way that stops thought, but it sort of drives the thought much deeper... I think it must be a space that many people cannot enter responsibly, that it may be quite unstable for them...
     
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  20. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    There's a big difference between anger and hate. Pertaining to what you said Hinsoog, I detract what I have said. I don't hate people, I'm extremely angry with them.
     
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