How I mistook myself for an INFJ

ISTPs and INFJs, from first glance, are completely different. Well, actually, they are completely different. But there are some similar ways of handling things that can easily make an ISTP an INFJ. Which is how I came across this forum.

1. Feeling ‘Different’
I’m surrounded by NF types, so to me, the feeling of being ‘different’ was strong. I also just like things that are different and exotic, I’ll always try something new, I view life as exciting.

2. Needing Space
I’ve often heard INFJs talk about how they’ll be involved with their friends and suddenly stop talking to them and get really introverted. I do the exact same thing, except with the INFJs it seems that they get a bit depressed because they were ‘drained’ and for me it just happens. It’s something I’ve always done, since I’m accustomed to being a loner and I feel like I always need to clear my mind from socialization, quite frequently.

3. Having only a few close friends
This is introvert at work. Most of my life I haven’t had a close friend, but when I grew into teenage hood I developed some new ties and have kept them. I identify with ‘the longer you have a friend, the more you value them’, even if someone with a better personality comes along I’ll usually invest in the person who’s been there the longest. I don’t know why, it’s just how it is. Like INFJs, it takes a long time for me to make friends that I feel are close because I don’t ‘open up’. The main difference is that I will usually never open up. I’m always holding a sliver of myself back, not purposely- mainly because I answer questions that are asked and since nobody asks the information is never spilled.

4. Just ‘knowing’ things
Yes, although I despise those who ‘just know things’, I used to think I had this skill as well. But the strong use of N is so different from S, you say! How could you possibly mistake yourself as an N rather than your strong running blood S? I’m the master at reading people. Unlike INFJs, however, I always used to use ‘tools’. Astrology was a good one. Using generalities normally got people the results they wanted, where they would respond ‘you know me so well!’ or ‘oh my god, that’s so freaky, how did you know how I felt about that?’. I also would bank of off previous things they had said and simply rephrase them, making it my own statement when it had originally been them who said it. My mom and sister happen to be NFP’s, so they would tell me tips and hints about how they thought the people felt while bickering to each other about my friends, and then I’d go repeat the words to my friend as my own insight.

5. Emotional Depth
Yes, I have emotions. Especially when under stress. I used to mistake the emotions I felt as the emotional depth of INFJs since I was under so much stress, I was out of control. I’d feel the need to inform people of my every feeling, and later, notice that I was just spitting words and that’s not how I felt. The truth is, I never really know how I feel and that’s why I avoid saying anything. I don’t like to contradict myself. There would be times when I’d be hanging out with friends in which I’d feel physically sick and then I’d break away from the group, but could never for the life of me figure out what was wrong. Later, after telling my mother and sister about it, they’d usually come to a conclusion I agreed upon: I didn’t like how so and so was using me to make so and so jealous, so and so’s comments hurt your feelings but you didn’t want to say anything about it, etc.

6. Strong Feelings
I also do get extremely strong feelings about people, like Rachelle, but the only difference is, they don’t last. One day I’ll be absolutely mad and deeply obsessed with her, and the next day I wouldn’t care if she dropped dead. This makes it easy for me to relate to ENTP’s who claim to be romantic but fall in love with a different person every day.

7. Creativity
I’ve always been a writer. ‘Nuff said. Actually, I’m just too lazy to go into this point.

8. Rebels
INFJs are rebels. They do what they feel in their hearts, and fuck the rest of them who don’t like it. Pretty much, I’ve always disliked authority and rules and don’t want to be controlled yet don’t want to control others. Well, INFJ’s aren’t really like that at all. They say “down with the man, and make me the man, things will be much better” whereas, I’d hate to be tied down having so much responsibility. With me, I’ll defy authorities if I see reason to, and I don’t have to feel it in my heart, I could just do it for fun. Yet, I don’t go around doing that because having things on your record can prevent you from launching off into space….which would be sooo awesome.

9. Intelligence
INFJs are intelligent. They’re deep, and think about things a lot. Usually they have emotions tied into things, which I don’t. But I’ve always been told I’m a thinker, ever since I was little. I just didn’t discover thinker stood for T in ISTP until a little later down the road.

10. Parents
My parents are INFJ and INFP. I took a lot of my interaction style from them, especially when I was trying to make friends and I didn’t know who I was and what I stood for. You can say that I shoplifted the INFJ personality for a while. In fact, I’m still pretty good at pretending to be an INFJ, I can say the words and walk the walk, I just don’t ‘feel’ that way. I am the master of putting on a face and pretending to be one way when really I’m not like that at all.

So, pretty much, that’s it. It’s amazing how these thoughts came out because I’d been thinking about it for a long time and had always blamed it on stress. It took one moment of eating an apple and then breaking down all of these different factors for this thread to be borned.




And that's how I prove the impossible: Yes, an ISTP can think they are an INFJ for all of the wrong wrong TERRIBLY wrong reasons.

 

Yeah, I mean, a ton of things about INFJs puzzle me but it's really easy to mistake certain traits of behavior for INFJ. The only way I knew is that I'm seriously lacking the way touchy feely side that you guys have, and since you all regularly hide it, it doesn't appear to be there so then it's so easy to think 'hmm, I'm just like him/her'

 

I need to make one about ISTPs and ENTPs. I was talking to my ENTP friend a lot and we had some major differences. He's easy to get along with, but so lame. Commitment? Pfft. ENTPs make me look like a douche XD

 

You read that wrong. I said ENTPs make ME look like a douche. He was talking about how he loves being in a relationship with girls and has dated people for years and once you get him you've got him for as long as you're interested and keep him interested, and I told him that commitment was lame. I didn't understand why and how anyone could/would do that.

 

Well, if you aint an INFJ you'll figure it out. Maybe try to be a T type, and then we can go do some immoral things together and laugh about it while everyone else freaks out about it.

 

No, that makes you smart.

 

Sure. Emotions is a tough spot for me. I can deal with them when I need to but usually it takes a hell of a great person for me to extend such effort.