Honesty | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Honesty

Do you consider yourself to possess high moral standards?

I think that it is introspection that leads an INFJ to absolute honesty.

Have you heard of the Enneagram of Personality?

INFJs are usually two of either 1, 4, or 5.

I am guessing that honesty has to do with either 1 or 4 or both.

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFour.asp
Healthy Fours are honest with themselves: they own all of their feelings and can look at their motives, contradictions, and emotional conflicts without denying or whitewashing them. They may not necessarily like what they discover, but they do not try to rationalize their states, nor do they try to hide them from themselves or others. They are not afraid to see themselves “warts and all.”
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeOne.asp
 
I am an honest person who tries to do the right thing. But the fact of the matter is that I can not get away with lying. It ALWAYS come back to me because I am BAD at it.
 
Suffice to say that I always get caught.
 
I'm typically a sincere and fairly honest person. I don't think i'm a good liar, nor do i want to be.
 
I am too. There are times in life where you may have to conceal something. It could be at a job or other places. Sometimes you are expected to lie. Good or bad it is the way it is. It happens. I am bad at it. I think being 100 percent honest everyminute of the day is not realistic. There is that movie that just came out that shows what a complete honest society would look like.

Would you insult someone by telling them that you hated their hair cut. You hated their husband or wife. What if the husband or wife did something horrible to you. Would you go and tell your friend if it came up. What if a boss wants you to do something that you dont want to do. Will you tell them? You wont have a job for long.
 
sookie said:
There is that movie that just came out that shows what a complete honest society would look like.
Click to expand...

Yeah, "The Invention of Lying." Just because you brought this up, i think i want to see it.
 
Restraint- I want peace. However, I can honestly tell you that living a life of never concealing what you think is simply not possible. We would never be able to socially survive.

Believe me I have tried and paid untold consequences. Social relationships are simply too complex. We need to have wisdom and pick our battles. We also have to try to fit in or we would never work, date, marry, or have relationships if we told the absolute truth 100 percent of the time
 
sookie said:
Restraint- I want peace. However, I can honestly tell you that living a life of never concealing what you think is simply not possible. We would never be able to socially survive.

Believe me I have tried and paid untold consequences. Social relationships are simply too complex. We need to have wisdom and pick our battles. We also have to try to fit in or we would never work, date, marry, or have relationships if we told the absolute truth 100 percent of the time
Click to expand...

I think there's some confusion. I really meant that i wanted to see the film. I'd thought about seeing the film, but it didn't look interesting. But because the topic of your thread is interesting, it makes me want to see the film just out of curiousity.

I didn't mean anything more than this by my statement. Sorry if there was some misunderstanding.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sookie
sookie said:
Restraint- I want peace. However, I can honestly tell you that living a life of never concealing what you think is simply not possible. We would never be able to socially survive.

Believe me I have tried and paid untold consequences. Social relationships are simply too complex. We need to have wisdom and pick our battles. We also have to try to fit in or we would never work, date, marry, or have relationships if we told the absolute truth 100 percent of the time
Click to expand...

I agree with you. Relationships are quite complicated. And tbh, i doubt that being forthcoming about what we feel or think is always healthy if it creates tension, discomfort, which would later lead to increased frustration, where no one benefits and everyone walks away demeaned and offended. When i said i'm honest, it's not without knowledge or understanding that relationships are quite complicated. I conceal what i think everyday, it's a necessity, as it is for most of us. When i said, i'm a fairly sincere and honest person, i meant that i'm sincere in intention and action, not that i'm brutally honest or direct in stating what i think. I conceal most of what i think, for the most part. Unfortunately, it's a necessity.
 
Last edited:
I don't like to lie because I value honesty. It's basically as simple as that. In most circumstances, it's better to take your lumps and just be honest; too often, lies come back to you.

However, when need be, I can be very good at lying, probably because I understand the body language and conviction needed to tell one. It's kind of like method acting.

space said:
Do you consider yourself to possess high moral standards?

I think that it is introspection that leads an INFJ to absolute honesty.

Have you heard of the Enneagram of Personality?

INFJs are usually two of either 1, 4, or 5.

I am guessing that honesty has to do with either 1 or 4 or both.

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFour.asp
Healthy Fours are honest with themselves: they own all of their feelings and can look at their motives, contradictions, and emotional conflicts without denying or whitewashing them. They may not necessarily like what they discover, but they do not try to rationalize their states, nor do they try to hide them from themselves or others. They are not afraid to see themselves
Click to expand...
 
If witholding the truth is a form of a lie then I am guilty. It's very much a struggle for me because there are times I know I would cause deep pain and possibly anger from a person if I told them the brutal truth.
The worst lies I think are the ones we tell ourselves or try to convince ourselves of something which we know deep down is a lie.
If someone lived this life being totally, brutally honest he or she would more than likely have no friends.
I'm too much of a coward to be brutally honest.
 
I can exaggerate the truth in someone else's favor if I feel it will do them good, but when it comes to lying for selfish motives, I'm terrible at it. My eyes betray me almost every time if I care for the person even a little. Therefore, I don't attempt it often. If I or someone I love is in danger, I can manipulate VERY well, but I don't do that for fun, really. I have an overdeveloped sense of guilt. :m068:
 
sumone said:
If witholding the truth is a form of a lie then I am guilty. It's very much a struggle for me because there are times I know I would cause deep pain and possibly anger from a person if I told them the brutal truth.
The worst lies I think are the ones we tell ourselves or try to convince ourselves of something which we know deep down is a lie.
If someone lived this life being totally, brutally honest he or she would more than likely have no friends.
I'm too much of a coward to be brutally honest.
Click to expand...

I can relate to this...I tend to feel privy to a lot of emotional info, and if I were perfectly honest all the time (based on all the emotional information at my disposal), it would make life very awkward for me and others.
 
laurie said:
I find that I can't lie without feeling physically ill or pained, unless I really don't care about that person at all (and I care about most people XD).
...Maybe INFJs over-inflate the importance of honesty to others that are not INFJs (or INTJs XD).
Click to expand...

I'm the same way. There's no trait I value more than honesty. I try my best to always tell the truth. I'm a terrible liar and I feel horrible when I do lie. The only time I usually lie is when I'm feeling bad and someone asks me what's the matter. I'll usually say I'm fine to avoid talking about it or worrying them.

It's very much possible that INFJs over-inflate the importance of honesty to others. I was deeply offended and hurt when I learned a former close friend had lied to me on multiple occasions. It made me really sad but other people just don't care as much as we do. She tested as an ENFP (I think she's an ESFP and the other result was a projection of what she wanted to be) and told me that she lies all the time, especially to her parents, without feeling bad about it. She explained to me "They expect me to lie to them so it doesn't matter."

It matters to me. :mpff:
 
Honesty is a lost art. We have diluted it to the point people think omitting information is actually being honest.
 
MonkeyGrassGirl said:
I can exaggerate the truth in someone else's favor if I feel it will do them good, but when it comes to lying for selfish motives, I'm terrible at it. My eyes betray me almost every time if I care for the person even a little. Therefore, I don't attempt it often. If I or someone I love is in danger, I can manipulate VERY well, but I don't do that for fun, really. I have an overdeveloped sense of guilt. :m068:
Click to expand...
Oh same here. Suffice to say, I am the most terrible liar I know, unless of course it's necessary, then yes, like you, I can lie VERY well.
I'm the best and worst actress, in different situations of lying.
Lying is terrible. Hence I hate when I lie, and when other people lie. Harrr. :m123:
 
My honesty depends on how you define the word. I often leave things untold, and some times I flat out lie. But I think there is a definite distinction to be made between honesty and telling the truth: I never lie to keep someone in the dark, or to gain unfair advantage, or anything in that vein.

You could say I'm just rationalizing unethical behaviour, and maybe you'd be right to say that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back