Hating people | INFJ Forum

Hating people

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Krumplenump, Dec 30, 2009.

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  1. Krumplenump

    Krumplenump Community Member

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    eftagawrg
    I have occasions where I'm very fond of humanity and humans, and I want to be around them, but once I've established that I do not like a particular person I seem to adopt a seething underlying hatred of them. I say this because I have recently come to the conclusion that a certain colleague at work is a total wanker. He loves himself beyond measure and has a crude confidence that is just totally out of place. He always jabbers on about what he's done here what he did there, how much money he made doing this and that and is generally a self-obsessed utter bore with horrid habits like snorting and spitting outside, walking like an ape and SHOUTING on the phone, never talking. When he does talk to various people about things like politics or the 'state of current affairs' he does so in such a self-important manner and relates scenarios to everyone as though his word is gospel.

    Honestly, I have adopted a hatred for this man. I wondered if anyone else gets this hatred of certain people and if it makes them generally more negative in the rest of their life? Or can you just shrug off irritating people..?
     
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  2. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    ahahahahhahaha OMG!!!!

    the walking like an ape thing.. is funny :) :) :) :) .... how does he walk like an ape!?!?!? ahahah hihihi

    okay.. so.. you know.. I HATE A LOT OF PEOPLE.. ahahahaha I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF ME HATING PEOPLE.. but i just can't stop myself.. it's like there are these people who are sooooooooooooo selfish... sooo self centered.. it's like everything's about them!!!! it's like their opinions, words, thoughts, feelings/emotions are the only thing that matters!!!!

    it annoys me the most when i'm around these kinds of people..and there are of course.. plenty of them at school.. at first.. I didn't know how to deal with these people...It makes me negative at school.. like i'm always angry or something,

    but my other friends just tell me not to mind them.. well as long as they don't mind my business.. i won't mind theirs.. but you know.. like you..

    it still irritates me a lot ahahahhaha

    it doesn't make me negative forever :) :) :) there are a lot of people in this world.. not just that ape walking man

    and ... you know.. that man isn't worth your wrinkles... SO SMILE WHEN YOU SEE HIM :) :) :) :) :)
     
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  3. Whitefire89

    Whitefire89 Community Member

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    O my gosh i totally feel you here.

    Yes those type of people You mention Krumplenump are so damn annoying.

    Although i think they only talk about them 24/7 because they want to be talked about 24/7.

    Basically i think people like that feel very alone so they try to surround themselves by saying LOOK AT ME!

    but yes...oo gosh i know so many people like that..
    I just quite frankly dont like being around them. and if i am for too long...

    (sigh) its only for so long..i either laugh?...or simply have an outburst and say
    :m141:
    SHUT UP ALREADY GOSH! NO ONE CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU DOOO!!!
     
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  4. OP
    Krumplenump

    Krumplenump Community Member

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    Ah Soulseeker, smile when you see him is good advice. I've already tried doing that and it works sometimes. I'm quite amiable towards him often so as to avoid getting riled at his imcompetence - however this seems to encourage him and then he will drone on about the global route a phone he bought on ebay took (and how much money he made). So, it sometimes works :D

    Whitefire you mention that people like this feel alone, I think that's true. I'm sure one of the main reasons he forces his presence with various customers when he clearly has no place there or tries to drop in on a conversation about real estate prices for example is because he suffers from an inferiority complex, feels he needs to be 'up there' to matter. So I feel for him in that sense, but I know that were he to ever get 'up there' and be in a position of power he'd abuse it and have no empathy for people who are where he is now. And that I cannot abide. Therefore I hate him with a vengeance :D
     
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    #4 Krumplenump, Dec 30, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2009
  5. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    I can't stand it when people like that get under my skin. That's probably the goal for a lot of them anyhow, just to get under peoples skin and observe reactions. People like that see the rest of us like puppets to be tested and toyed with. When I realise someone is this type I just act very bland around them and don't give anything away.
     
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  6. OP
    Krumplenump

    Krumplenump Community Member

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    Oh interesting, I never think people maliciously act that way, like on purpose. Maybe if one lets ones irritation show they lock on to that and do it on purpose, so yes I guess keeping bland and neutral would combat the likelihood of that happening.
     
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  7. the

    the Si master race.
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    It sounds like you and a lot of people are the ones being selfish in wanting other people to be exactly how you want them to be.
     
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  8. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    I don't think i'm that:m051: selfish to not let other people be themselves :) :) :m159:

    but if a person doesn't even care about other people and only cares about himself.. then that person has an issue.. because nobody can live alone.. whether he likes it or not.. he has to deal with other people too and not other people deal with him all his life... then he might as well die :) :)
     
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  9. OP
    Krumplenump

    Krumplenump Community Member

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    I can't speak for soulseeker but for me it's not so much wanting people to be like me, but how to handle people who piss me off. In other words allowing ones natural dislike of a said person to linger or attempting to remedy it.

    This irritating guy by the way is sitting opposite me now and is remarkably quiet. We talked about fishing for a bit so maybe that's why.
     
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  10. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    hahahaha this is funny.. it's like one of those lines in :mlight:spy movies :) :) :)

    does he feel that you are irritated by him?
     
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  11. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

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    I felt like I could have written the OP. Yes, I get that way too - once someone is under my skin, it's hard to see them clearly. I try to remain unjudgmental and uncritical, to a point.... There's always a point where I can't do it anymore. Good post!
     
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  12. sookie

    On Holiday

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    I have hated. I could won a gold medal in hate. I have found that hating someone is letting them to continue to win over me.

    My Aunt who is a Christian nun told this to me. She was relating to me through my Buddhist practice.

    She told me of an old story.

    There were 2 monks that were traveling
    They come across a beggar woman.

    One of the monks offered to put her on his back to cross the river.

    They did this. The monk picked up the woman and carried her on his back through the river.

    The other monk was mad at this. He was boiling over. The woman left and for 2 miles the other monk stewed on this.

    After 2 miles had passed the monk could not take it any longer. He said to the first monk.

    "I cant believe that you carried that woman on your back to cross the river!"

    The first monk said "I only carried her to cross the river. You have been carrying this woman on your back for 2 miles."

    I have crippled my life with my hatred of people who were cruel to me.

    Now I realize that through my Buddhist practice. That when people act in this way they are really creating negative causes for their life.

    When people act in this way that are miserable and unhappy. They will continue to create misfortune and bad karma.

    There are two things that my friends in faith have pointed out to me. First, it is through this person that I recommit myself to my practice to shine my life and be happy.

    Second, I should have compassion for them . I have my practice to help guide myself through my difficulties and overcome the obstacles that in reality end up strengthening my life.

    Now I chant and have had such fortune this year. I know that my life will manifest happiness. Indestructable happiness that when I encounter people I will have solid roots of faith planted so that I will be able to overcome their unhappy actions.
     
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  13. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    Exactly.

    N/S-dominant functions are peaceful and perceptive folks. So perceptive that we can perceive the misanthropy of others, which can anger us, unnaturally. It is the worst feeling in the world, to be forced to become angry. Oh, how I wish to never have to be angry again about angry people who would make me. That's why I think there's a propensity within our types to seek solitary living, because the world is too poisoned with hatred, and we are too perceptive of it, to be able to take it. It's a shame, because we could otherwise be really like a big happy family, we are very good at doing that. :) Whatever happens, it seems i'm always gonna love infjs. *blush* by the way this forum has the best smilies, these monkeys, they are real, full of life and sincere passion, not like the other ones
     
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  14. OP
    Krumplenump

    Krumplenump Community Member

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    I think he's oblivious.


    Nice nun story sookie, I liked it :D
     
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  15. sookie

    On Holiday

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    I am glad you liked it. I cant take credit for it. It is one of those word of mouth stories that get passed along. The author is unknown.
     
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  16. Raccoon Love

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    This describes me exactly.
     
  17. enigma

    enigma Armed and Fabulous!

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    BUWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA!
     
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  18. lovinginsilence

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    I am a brand new user to this site I just wanted to say first off that I'm really grateful to have come across it.

    I can relate / agree to Sookie's reply to this post. For some reason I've very recently uh.. 'opened my eyes' so to speak, to the damage I've caused myself over teh past decade with negative feelings. They tended to grow stronger overtime and manifest into something much more to the point it was far outweighing my positive feelings and outlook. Everything pissed me off. I feel like I sabotaged myself over the years and now that I'm changing my train of thought and trying to see others in a different light, I feel much better (although I still have a long way to go Ill admit). Trust me I was at the point where saying 'I Hate People' was one of my most often spoken words when anything* would piss me off. Now.. I smile. And I breathe. Something so simple helps so much when you feel those negative emotions creeping up. It may sound silly but I give credit to my new found train of thought to reading about the laws of attraction. I believe it to be some pretty powerful stuff and I thank my mother for bringing it to my attention. It has really helped me.

    This may not sound like it has much to do with the original posters comments but really.. in the big picture its about letting crap in life get the best of you. Wether it be people or situations. Once you learn how to literally control those emotions and 'let them go', it makes the crap alot easier to take.:m159:
     
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  19. OP
    Krumplenump

    Krumplenump Community Member

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    Great post! I have my mother to thank too for bringing a lot of things to my attention in terms of ways of dealing with things.
     
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  20. MindYourHead

    MindYourHead Courage doesn't always roar.

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    Fortunately, my hate list is very short.
    But they are mostly people that for some reason I hated from the moment I met them, and when I see them my heart rate goes up.
    It's almost as if it is a pheromonal reaction.


    There is a lot of truth in what you said.

    One of the best lessons my late Father taught me growing up was that if someone is picking on you, don't give them the reaction they expect.
    If you don't react, they will get bored and move on.

    I recall in school 10th grade or thereabouts, there was a bully who for some unknown reason wanted to kick my ass while we were in gym class.

    I laughed at him to his face. Repeated threats only resulted in more laughs.
    He was clueless as to how to react to this. "He's not afraid of me?"
    Which turned into an awkward, embarrassing moment for him since he was calling me out in front of everybody.
    He never did pay any attention to me again.

    I was willing to risk getting into a fight had it not worked, but I just found him so damn funny!
     
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