Knowing who I can be myself around, and who I can open up to about my life has been a major issue for me recently. When I was in grade school, I moved around a lot. I was fairly popular, and people knew who I was and I had a lot of friends, even a few "best-friends," but no one who I felt like I could really let in.
When I got to college, I had a friend who is an ESTJ. I opened up to him about a lot of things in my life and I not only respected him for listening to me, since I'd always been the listener for others, but also admired his confidence, something I thought I lacked in not being extroverted or assertive. I thought of him as an older brother and I would often tell him directly that I was telling him things I'd never told anyone.
He WAS a friend, because months later, he told me we couldn't be "close friends" - though I had already made him the closest friend I've ever had. Then he told me there were X amount of people he respected, listed them to me, and told me I could never talk about them. He still thought it was ok to come into my dorm room, choke me out in front of my friends, crack jokes at my expense in front of the other guys while I was fixing his computer, and referred to our previous discussions: "Every shrink needs a shrink. I'm your shrink." Before, I took his jokes, "butt pats," and choke holds as just being playful, since I assumed we had a mutual respect. Afterwards, I couldn't really comprehend them. He often told me I "brought out the worst" in his sarcasm, and I took that to mean he was comfortable being around me. After being put in my place though, it all irritated me - that I would even open up to someone who didn't respect me like that. But I feared that if I stood up for myself, he'd see me as an issue, and would drop me rather than work through it since he always had "better people.