At least you are trying to learn and practicing. They gave everyone some kind of music pitch test in grammar school: which sound had the higher pitch? They gave many different sounds and questions. I was gifted with an ear for music. They told me I would be playing the trumpet in the school band. I told them I would not! Wish I would have. Reason? I didn't want to make everyone's ears bleed while I was playing a trumpet at the age of 10 or 11. All I could think of was everyone holding their ears, making fun of me, and how much time it would take me away from my outdoor activities. So stupid. At least you have the guts to do it and I dare say I am proud of you for it. Play on. Love it. Excel.