Feeling unloved
- Thread starter SpoofyMcPoof
- Start date
I used to believe that. It's a very defeatist way of thinking that just leads to counter-productive downward spiral of resentment. Now I have come to believe some people who do not love themselves can not accept that they are lovable, regardless of how much they are loved. I still love people irrespective of how much they do themselves, and other people do as well. In fact if a person can not do that then I am of the belief they are not capable of truly loving another person in any case, because true love is unconditional and everyone is lovable.
Just me, you say an awful lot of stuff in a short statement here. Yes, I understand that the "good luck" thing was like a flower or a gem in your heart that was just wishing the best for all of us. It's beautiful for people to be like that and feel that way. Perfectly beautiful in fact. Sometimes I really think that everything is just perfect as it is, but the perfection is like a hidden jewel to some of us sometimes. Perfectly hidden in plain sight!
Mayflow, think you will like this.....you may already:
"Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." Luke?
In my experience it's been a matter of type as well as age. When I was younger my feelings weren't any more intense than they are today, but I based more of my decisions on them and I made some pretty bad choices when it came to matters of the heart. Those mistakes brought me a lot of heartache, but I also got two wonderful children out of one of those pitfalls.
It seems now that I spent most of my 20s, 30s and 40s either lonely or heartbroken; I got to the point where I preferred lonely. In my 50s I met a man to whom I was not immediately attracted, but we became acquaintances and later, friends. Then, unexpectedly, after ten-plus years, we realized we were in love with each other and had been for some time. Finally, finally, I have someone who loves me with the same kind of intensity I feel.
That's probably not the success story you want either, but I'm not saying love won't come your way till you're as gray as I am. I'm just saying it often comes from the strangest quarters, and that there can be a thin line between friendship and romantic love; it doesn't just happen in the movies. For us, it was a matter of recognition, which came about only after we had stopped letting ourselves be distracted by a lot of the externals in our lives.
I don't know if that helps or even if it makes sense.
yeah
i suppose that lots of people don't seem to love me as much as i do them...
but then again that may be because people like to be loved different ways...they might express their love to you in the way THEY want to be loved and visa versa...
*shrugs*
so yeah.
i suppose that lots of people don't seem to love me as much as i do them...
but then again that may be because people like to be loved different ways...they might express their love to you in the way THEY want to be loved and visa versa...
*shrugs*
so yeah.
I have learned to love myself. It makes no difference to my dateability.I have a lot to offer. I know that I'm better than average in looks, intellect, personality and empathy. I have lots of hobbies and interests.
Yet men still reject me or worse, they want to use me physically and not date me.
I seem to be rejected more than friends of mine and wonder whether it's the INFJ-ness and being 1.5% of the population. Why do people really not want to be with me?
I've been thinking about this in the past couple of days because I guy who rejected me when I admitted my feelings for him friend requested me on Facebook. I haven't been in contact with him for 9 years and he would've had to have done a search to find me because we live in different states of Australia and have no mutual friends.
Why are people desperate to be my freind but equally desperate not to date me I wonder? Is INFJ-ness really so difficult to accommodate in a relationship?
Oh, and on the appearing cold thing - even if you begin to trust and warm up - the people who criticised you for being cold will run a mile from your warmth too. It's like an INFJ girl can't win!
Yet men still reject me or worse, they want to use me physically and not date me.
I seem to be rejected more than friends of mine and wonder whether it's the INFJ-ness and being 1.5% of the population. Why do people really not want to be with me?
I've been thinking about this in the past couple of days because I guy who rejected me when I admitted my feelings for him friend requested me on Facebook. I haven't been in contact with him for 9 years and he would've had to have done a search to find me because we live in different states of Australia and have no mutual friends.
Why are people desperate to be my freind but equally desperate not to date me I wonder? Is INFJ-ness really so difficult to accommodate in a relationship?
Oh, and on the appearing cold thing - even if you begin to trust and warm up - the people who criticised you for being cold will run a mile from your warmth too. It's like an INFJ girl can't win!
..I can't deal with it! It causes primitive anxities in me, meaning my whole world breaks down and I think I'm going to die.
If you're in australia, head on up to darwin and I'll love you something fierce.
LAUGHING.... I have never liked that feeling very well...
S
Shai Gar
I feel unloved.
I try reaching out, but you know how it is... The ones you love never seem to reach back.
I try reaching out, but you know how it is... The ones you love never seem to reach back.
I don't deal with it, I let it pass by because (after many experiences of brooding over it) I find that it usually goes away although it makes me very depressed while its there.
It's probably a very common problem for many types, but especially INFJs and INTJs (maybe moreso INFJs because they're F) as the majority of tyes have difficulty understand Ni.
I've actually heard that kind of statement from a load of different people of different types ^^" It seems there's a whole load of unrequited love out there...
Which makes me wonder why so many people are single (involuntarily)
if there's that much love going around...