I'll add another 'yes' vote to this question.
This is almost a unanimous and intense issue for us it seems.
I always wanted a soul mate. I've never wanted anything more. It was a need in me that I had since I was a very small child. I remember feeling it in first grade. I have spent the majority of my life trying to make myself 'lovable'. Almost all of my interest and skill stem from my need to be loved by a special person that 'gets' me. While I have always been unwilling to budge on my core values and interests, I have always been willing to change anything else.
It took me many more years to find her than I thought I could endure, but I found her and I knew it when I did because I had dreamed about her in vivid detail since I was a teenager. It turned out that she was an INFJ too. We had 5 wonderful years together. We only had 3 'fights', and they consisted of us not talking for about 30 minutes and then realizing that nothing was worth us not being together. We'd apologize and forget about it like it never happened. I had the kind of happiness I had always dreamed of. It was everything I knew it would be.
Then one day, she told me she needed some freedom before she would be ready to settle down for good. She said that she needed to experience life that way or else she would always regret it. It broke my heart but I gave it to her because she promised to come back when she was done. She also told me that she needed me to stop being such a slacker because she needed to be able to trust me to take care of both of us if something happened to her. I always managed to pay the bills with my various freelnace work, and she never had to pay for anything while she was with me unless she chose to, but I only did what I had to do and was starting to rack up credit card debts. It broke my self esteem, but I promised to make all the changes she asked of me. Her plan was for me to 'shape up' while she was having her freedom, and when I was done, she'd come back. Until then she didn't want me to contact her because she said it would make it hard for her to enjoy her freedom because she loved me so much, and might start to regret her decision. It was harsh, but I could see that I needed the motivation and I loved her enough to give her what she needed, even if it was the worst thing I could imagine for myself.
I spent the next year and a half working out, and working 4 jobs. I got myself together spiritually and even became a minister who teaches at conferences all over the nation. I lost 64 pounds, and can now pass the Federal Police Field Agent Fitness Requirement - for men 20 years younger than me. I pulled in 6 figures last year, and now have more money in the bank than I had in debt. I did all of this while so devastated that I cried nearly every day, and sometimes had panic attacks so intense that I would hyperventilate until I passed out. I mention all of this because with God's help, I was able to do the impossible. This is a testament to how far an INFJ is willing to go when the goal is their soul mate.
When I finally felt that I had proven myself and met every demand that she made, I called her. She told me that it was very inappropriate for me to do so because she was in a relationship now, that she was no longer in love with me, and that she didn't want anything to do with me ever again. Then she hung up.
I almost died. Literally. I attempted suicide a few times before I got myself to realize that no one is worth that.
I've tried to make sense of it since then, and the only thing I can come up with was that she wanted out from the beginning and didn't know how else to do it. The arrangement she offered was designed to let me down easy because she didn't think I could meet it. By trying to spare my feelings, it seems that she only served to hurt worse than anything else could have.
So, now I have regained the intense INFJ longing for someone special, but now I have no hope that I will ever find someone to fill that role because if it didn't work with her, then it just isn't possible. She was a one in a million possibility. Strangely, brilliant beautiful women are now throwing themselves at me, but none of them have what it would take to be a soul mate. None of them have what it would take to 'get me'. So, I am now an island of my own choosing, and I honestly feel that I will remain so for the rest of my life unless I let go of the possibility that there is such a thing as a soul mate, at which point, I will no longer have the motivation to live.
If it wasn't for my close network of friends, I wouldn't be typing this today. And I have realized that all that we as INFJs can really hope for is good friends, the kind who stick with us through the good times and the bad, just was we stick with them through theirs.
I wish I had a better Valentine's Day report, but I don't. If it is at all possible, figure out how to love yourselves first, and everyone else second, despite this being against everything we are. You'll save yourself a lot of pain.
I don't know if I would have recovered from that, Hase.
