Fear

[Orion]

I bought a book called Fear: The friend of exceptional people. It's not just another pop psychology book but written by a guy who is well known in many areas. I personally think the first step to dealing with fear is being able to understand it on a physiological level.

The physical sensations of fear and anxiety come from the adrenal release. Adrenaline will either be released slowly, over a long period of time (dread/anxiety) or in bursts (fight or flight response). You can also have multiple slow adrenal releases if lots of things are worrying you.

There are lots of different types of adrenal release:

"pre-fight" fear (Fear of something happening)
"pre-post fight" fear (fear of the potential consequences before it happens)
"in fight" fear (fear while experiencing that something)
"post fight" fear (current fear of consequences, also know as "Oh shit, why did I do that?")

And there are more but I can't remember them... I use the term "fight" because everything that could be potential harm is registered as a physical threat to your body by the brain.

In terms of coping mechanisms a great thing to do is: Imagine the worst case scenario, then imagine yourself dealing with it. Imagine if, what you dreaded, did actually happen. Role through your head what EXACTLY you would do to deal with it. You will see that despite how horrible the potential consequences are, it's not the end of the world because you WILL deal with it.

There is also something called a "fear pyramid". Write down your fears in a pyramid style, with the least threatening at the bottom to the most fearful at the top. Then create a separate pyramid for each of those fears. In these mini-pyramids you write down steps you can take to gradually build up to facing your fears. At the end of the day though, you will just have to face them, as others have said.

Hope that helps.

 

[NeverAmI]

I tend to run from fear. Finding out you actually fear something, recognizing the source, is a huge leap in self-discovery.

There are a lot of things I don't necessarily run from, but I avoid. Hopefully some day I can meet most circumstance head-on without trying to avoid anything in life.

It is a work in progress.

 

[Wyst]

I say face your tangible fears.. like heights, the dark, small places, stuff like that..

when it comes to intangible things like, fear of being alone, fear of rejection... since they involve other people... I don't know. Facing my fears in those areas, I think it'd be very easy to become cavalier with other people's feelings/hearts.

Maybe that's just my copout excuse for not facing my fears in those areas..

 

[Matariki]

I tend to laugh at fear, out of fear.

What I fear most is pain, but I believe all humans do.
The fear usually hurts more than the actual pain that one is undergoing.
Funny that.

 

[NeverAmI]

I tend to laugh at fear, out of fear.

What I fear most is pain, but I believe all humans do.
The fear usually hurts more than the actual pain that one is undergoing.
Funny that.

Reminds me of a quote I posted on Facebook a while back:

 

[Lucifer]

What is your first reaction when you get scared? You try to calm yourself down...right? Well maybe that isn't what you should do maybe you should let the fear pass over you. Allow yourself to be scared and the fear passes like a wave, try and stop the fear and you stall it in your mind.

I've been dealing with my anxieties a lot lately. And maybe I should feel privileged that I get to face my worst fears. A person without anxiety problems might never get the opportunity.

And +1 to TDHT's post.

 

[randomsomeone]

Is the anxiety about the task, yourself, or other's perceptions of yourself?

I don't run into much fear myself, but I think all of us recognize our shadow side and that is where such fears may reside. Our shadow side (in the way I am using the term) is a place of disconnect and a lack of integration within ourselves....it can mean may things to different people. Fear might be one of these.

In my opinion, unconditional love and acceptance is a great way to see past our fears, our shadows. A sense of overall well-being might embolden us to face these things as we find we have less reason to be terminally fearful and more reasons to move out of the shadows. Here we are accepted as we are. This kind of love can come to us in a variety of ways, but for me it comes through religious thought....not dogma and doctrine and texts (although they do have a role to play), but a more cosmic sense of connection with a great, personal love. When (in my tradition) I look at the Gospels, I see lots of people acting out of fear and disconnection in different circumstances. Yet the words, "be not afraid", "fear is useless, what is needed is love","peace, be still","let your hearts not be troubled" speaks of an overall Divine attitude or outlook towards us right were we are, as we are. The Divine love seeks to heal us, I think, and reconnect us to our rightful dignity and wholeness.

That said, I think it is an important model to realize that the spiritual life is one of connection...a real partnership between us and the Divine. It's kinda designed that way. We do not have all the answers or have our act all together...it's not all about that really (although sometimes we sure think it is). Yes, we can move in the direction of wholeness, but we are not designed to have the whole thing together and/or grasp every detail in our minds. Spirituality speaks to our hearts, to our egos, to our minds...all of these...with more integration among our various human capacities.

I think this kind of awareness helps us to feel safe, to feel at peace, to feel cared for in a way that is somehow beyond us and yet deep within us....we come to find we live in a world that of plenty rather than a world that is never enough. And this makes a huge difference.

Anyway, not trying to convince anybody, just sharing how I have seen this working in myself and others...some of whom also had lots to legitimately fear!!

 

[Norton]

I'm a risk taker and have done a lot of things that many would consider scary. These have usually been related to starting businesses and skiing. People don't scare or intimidate me either, per se. But, talking to a crowd, for me, is horrible. I've never gotten used to it and never will. Now that I'm older, I just don't do it.

Fear is an important source of information, one that helps us survive and, sometimes, excel. What you do with that information is up to you. In some situations you accept the fear and go forward because your goals and needs demand it. In others, the equation doesn't balance and you're perfectly justified in saying, "screw it."

 

[yepunsarang]

Ah, weaknesses. That's what you're referring to right? Mine's love. And I'm attempting to face it full on at the moment. I'm very proud of myself---one step at a time guys!

With almost everything, I've faced my fears and slaughtered them to pieces. This one, however, has been a looong work in progress. Several years of healing, several more meditating, more of convincing, a year of watching an individual, and a few months realizing that may this person is worth the risk!

 

[Roger]

I think fear has different types. It comes in different way on different levels. For example, if we are moving from old to new mindset, then you can understand fears will be more hidden and difficult to handle.

Best solution, we should go with that fear. Sometimes fears have solutions too. Do it or face them.