Fear | INFJ Forum

Fear

Discussion in 'Philosophy and Religion' started by alcyone, Apr 15, 2010.

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  1. alcyone

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    How do you all deal with fear?

    I am not talking about small fears like heights, spiders, snakes, etc. The mundane type of fears.

    I am talking about those gut twisters that keep you from doing the kinds of things that you want. Or doing those things that you know could lead you to a better place.
     
  2. sassafras

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    Face them. Even if you're crying the whole time, if your gut is twisting and you feel like you're about to get sick... you have to steel yourself and do it. Otherwise, those fears and anxieties get bigger and fatter and meaner and they multiply by infecting you with fears of even more mundane things.

    All anxiety really is the doubt about your own competence in facing the issue. You have to put those doubts to rest by showing that you are capable of handling the problem, no matter how small or how big it looks through the fear-goggles. Standing up to your anxiety builds up your confidence, and those subconscious questions about your abilities will eventually start disappearing with every task you accomplish, no matter what you're feeling.

    I deal with massive bouts of anxiety by writing out the things I have to do for the thing I dread doing, step by step, on a note pad. Seeing it broken down, I'm less overwhelmed and I can talk myself through it. Maybe this is a method that might work for you too, Alcy.
     
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    #2 sassafras, Apr 15, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2010
  3. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    Yes, this is true!! I think is is good to see/realize that our shadow side, our fears, are not necessarily the obstacle we think they may be. In a sense, seeing this is almost a precondition for starting to address these. If we perceive our fears as a solid barrier, we may well get stuck behind it (as TDHT suggests). If, however, we see them as a door, one we can pass through to some deeper awareness...my, that can make a huge difference! I only say this as a way of mentioning very real possibilities. Moving past these is not instantaneous thing....it is a life-long journey, but one well worth engaging in.
     
  4. Jack

    Jack Community Member

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    I grit my teeth, remind myself that the risks you regret the most are those you didn't take, and press on to do something.

    Imagine taking no risks and doing nothing and being nothing... I don't know about you, but I could never live like that.

    How much is what you are fighting for or dreaming of worth to you?

    On top of that, it can be kind of exhilarating... taking risks.
     
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    #4 Jack, Apr 15, 2010
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  5. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Alcyone, TDHT, random: sorry to hear about your significant fear - I suppose that I don't experience that kind of fear.

    Is the anxiety about the task, yourself, or other's perceptions of yourself?
     
  6. OP
    alcyone

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    It is the type of fear that, once I cross the threshold and turn repressed desires and thoughts into words and actions, there is no turning back.
     
  7. sassafras

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    When I was clinically depressed, I had developed a comorbid Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was mostly crippled by the thought that "I can't handle things," or "this shouldn't be this way," so even the smallest tasks seemed rather monumental to me. Particularly when I put the tasks off.
     
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  8. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    Fear really is the mindkiller Alcy. For me anyways, my build up of these fears in my mind is always worse than the actual thing or event I am fearing. Knowing that doesn't nesassarily make it any easier to face though. One of the keys for me is to face it (or them) early on before they really get ahold of your noodle. We too often make our own hell's out of glue and straw, and by letting them fester allow them to become like steel. That's my advice. I hope it helps. You can always PM me or catch me on chat to talk too. That is another thing that can help!
     
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  9. Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

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    while i wouldn't call it a fear per say, preaching is often stressful for me. It's always in my head that what if it's not good enough, what if I say the wrong thing, what if, what if, what if.All the what ifs have to be put aside though once the music ends and the lights come up, you just do. No questions asked you get up as much confidence as you can muster and you tell the people what you have to say.I'm not much of a risk taker, but when I get to the cross road and make my decision there is no looking back. Just keep moving forward.
     
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  10. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    this is my biggest weakness. I deal with fear poorly I'm trying hard to just do it anyway but man its tough.
     
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  11. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    I'm so sorry you went through this - what helped you out?



    Is there any help you can draw on? Or someone to ease the burden?
     
  12. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Like you might lose control of yourself?

    I suppose that my deepest fear, which is not emotional fear, but intellectual fear (I guess that means it isn't repressed) is that I will let resentment and hatred take me over, to the point that I'll stop wanting to be a good person.
     
  13. Feelings

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    It's either a priest using psychic scream, or a warlock. If I'm already DoT'd up I'll ice block, otherwise I'll use [Every Man For Himself] racial. If both are on cooldown, I'll cold snap and ice block. If my opponent is sufficiently bad and I have enough health, I might even save my cooldowns and let fear run out.

    Usually I'll stay ice blocked and let my water elemental pound on my opponent for 10 seconds if I can. If my opponent is smart enough to attack it, then I'll un-iceblock.
     
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    #13 Feelings, Apr 15, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2010
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  14. Kavalan

    Kavalan Has risen

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    Control... If I could even think my way through how I still control the setting I'm in the fear dissipates. If not I just try to minimize everything down to manageable fear levels.
     
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  15. Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

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    NERD!!!!!!!!
     
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  16. Feelings

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    i pwn you! because i'm pro, and you're noob!
     
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  17. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    Pierce, don't worry. The highest chief-positioned person working in Google, that I ever had a long conversation with, was 40-something, among the top 10 best scientists in his field, and was just like you. (lol) In the middle of our lively conversation about algorithms he started talking and talking about WoW. I was like: wow. ^_^ I imagine him sitting at Google Mountain view headquarters, and playing WoW like crazy, every day. And believe me, he does.

    On-topic: depends very much. In some periods of my life I'm very struggle-oriented. That includes, ramming through any fears, with the power of my strong will. Other times I'm very leisure-oriented and really don't like to do anything which requires struggle. In those periods I still do many things that could scare me, but they just don't scare me. So I'm not sure which one is more useful. Currently, I tend to think struggle is more useless. Usually there're more efficient ways to workaround or develop yourself.
     
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    #17 enfp can be shy, Apr 15, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2010
  18. INFJsupergirl

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    I agree with what someone else said, face it. That is what I'm doing but don't just face it, face it with courage & faith that you will overcome. Know that you are bigger than any of your fears & if you believe in God, know that there is nothing that is to small, let God be your strength. It will be okay.
     
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  19. Timeless

    Timeless Community Member

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    Like what specifically for example?
     
  20. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    You deserve a standing ovation for that post :) Well said.
     
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