family members who are everything the INFJ despises

[midnightmelody]

My mother! She's just an overall mean person, especially to me of all her children. I'm not just saying that- she's literally told me that she doesn't like who I am, and I need to change myself.
She's an ESTJ, by the way.

Meh, not surprised.

My mother is ISTJ. I wouldn't say she is evil, but she can get frustrated with my idealism. I told her that I'm not going to do some job just because it makes me money, because personally, that wouldn't satisfy me.

She can be close minded and lacks the ability to understand that people see things differently.

 

[midnightmelody]

My mother is an ESTJ too. I have noticed a lot of INFJs have an ESTJ parent.

Yeah, what's with this?

 

[Matariki]

First of all, let's establish just what it is that the INFJ despises: arrogance, narcissism, rudeness and the general tendency to be mean or inconsiderate.

Ya know what, I just realised ENTP's despise all of this too.

Personally, I have a brother who is self-centered, rude, stubborn, argumentative and 100% lacking in empathy. He has no tact; his brain is like a computer! It amazes me that we came from the same parents. Do you have any family members or any people you're "stuck with" who are exactly the opposite of what you'd hope for?

Your brother sounds similar to mine, however I live with two of them. One older than me and the other younger. The older is a ISTJ and the younger an ISTP.

You have given what sounds like the description of an ISTJ/ISTP. The average Joe male personality. They always have to be right about everything. It makes me want to do this -
But most of the time I do this -

The thing that strikes me about them Is that they always try to make you look and sound dumber than you really are.
However they don't realise that their facts came from theories and ideas that we 'N's' thought of and proved.

Hey, don't get me wrong I have friends that are 'S' types, and I get along with them very well.

 

[Entyqua]

Ive never tried to type my mother...If I would have to guess, im going to say shes probably ESFJ or ESTJ...but recently become more Introverted and its killing her. The only reason I guess ESFJ first is because she cries...alot...you cant say anything to her with out hurting her feelings

 

[Matariki]

My mother (ENFP). She is a manipulative, self obsessed, cynical person. She constantly focuses on the negative aspects of everything. Oh, and when the attention shifts from her to someone else she does something overly dramatic so that she gets more negative attention. She feeds off of it. That, and putting down other people to make herself look better. I tried and tried and tried to get along with her, but eventually I had to cut contact all together. Our relationship was very unhealthy and she wasn't going to admit she was part of the problem and get help so I walked away.

Its so sad, thats almost the same story with my mother. Shes an ENFJ, she overreacts to everything that is happening to her and she has to be the center of attention.

If it wasn't for my dad I would of left her by now. My dad though is an INTP, so its ok. I love my INTP dad.

 

[Afrelen]

I'm the only introvert in the household. Tell me that wasn't frustrating!

My sister is just plain rude. She's downright manipulative, and doesn't pick up on even the most obvious hints that she's being inconsiderate, even from my parents who aren't exactly coy with what they're feeling.

I'm fairly sure both my parents are ENxx. I know my father has been typed as an ENTJ. I get along fine with them now, but still my mother has always been very prying into my thoughts. Our infamous conversation (which happens every other week whenever I'm home) is:

Me, taking some time alone out on the porch or in the living room being my normal pondersome self. Mom sits next to me.
Mom: What are you thinking about? I always wonder what's going on in your head when you get like this. It worries me.
Me: Nothing specific. (often true)
Mom: Well, you know, you can tell me whatever you want.

I appreciate the concern, but most of the time I just want to (and have before) answer, "I'm thinking how annoying it is when people try to get in your head."

My father, on the other hand, is blind of any emotion on my part. I could be exploding with rage (and have before) and he won't pick up until I say or do something extreme.

The combination can be very exhausting sometimes. When I'm home, I often have to fight to get some privacy and unwind. The one great positive development in my family relationship has been their discovery that I just need this from time to time and I'm not tired or hurt by them when I do it. Of course, that's been helped by my discovery to be more direct about how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking with them so that way they aren't always in the dark with my usually calm air.

 

[Puck]

ISTJ mother, ESTP father, XSTP brother. I can't relate well to any of them, but they make quite a coherent family unit together. It's just me who doesn't fit in. Almost like I came from another planet.

 

[enfp can be shy]

I think my granny was ESTJ and my mom was probably INFJ. They didn't get along. Must warn that I am very unsure about their MBTI types though, just because I know them too well, and can see almost any type in some facets of them. I lean towards ESxx and INxx in my analysis of them.

My mom didn't hate granny though. I think after all the fights, and even one decision that broke and changed my mom's whole life, she still loved her mother very deeply, and missed her. Sure, she rebelled very hard, she run away in her youth, they wouldn't speak for years, and in the end she missed her.

I did get along very well with everyone in my family. Some healthy fights every now and then, but nothing serious or long term. Worst relative for me was ISTP, yet, still good enough. They had more dangerous clashes between each other and I was usually able to bring peace. I was feeling guilty that other kids don't have that sincere connection with their families, even when they had more money - I felt richer than them, and couldn't do anything substantial to help them.

 

[Roger]

My mother's brother and her sister, who is my uncle in relationship.he is real tough person to understand, i try everything to understand him. but noh!!!

Actually he is jealous, rude, making formalties all time, behaves in weird manner. My mother's sister, i gave her all thing for our niece-aunty relationship. I respected her, still she has no time to call me. She says she helped me a lot when i needed, but she is lying all time. Money-lured woman she is! This two person always tell me:they don't like me, they always make me feel that i am nothing for them. I am dead for them.

but at last, i will always try to mend this relationships, and i will try to correct my errors from my side. Because i am their sister's child.

 

[dvslil1]

Lets see, dad's an INTJ and I would probably have a good relationship with him if it weren't for my emotionally abusive mother. I don't know what type mum is but I'd say maybe an esfj. She's disapproving, minimizing, negating invalidating and down right does not approve of the fact that she hasn't been able to manipuate me into topping myself- or maybe that's just how she makes me feel.
what shits me the most is having to defend the person I have chosen to become as if there is something fundamentally wrong with me.
The fact that my mother chooses to do it through third parties (inclusive of police and medical professionals) is indicative of just how sick, twisted and narcissistic she is.
Curious to know if anybody else has family members who "recruit" other people to effectively do their bidding whether knowingly or unkowingly.

 

[testing]

First of all, let's establish just what it is that the INFJ despises: arrogance, narcissism, rudeness and the general tendency to be mean or inconsiderate.

Yep, and boy do I have those.
3 in-laws who I honestly suspect would be diagnosed with some kind of disorder. if there is a name for manipulative pathological liar drama queens.

A brother who considers it his duty in life to see that I am reminded constantly of my shortfallings which, somewhat ironically, include a tendency to be overly sensitive, in his opinion. (Hm, wonder why? You tell someone they're a loser 25,000 times from birth onward and they usually develop a pretty huge chip on their shoulder.) Anyway, stopped seeing him years ago.

SOOO... that is why my two favorite Christmas Carols are "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" and "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" (even though Grandma herself is not really objectionable, it's just the spirit of the song that I love) and my favorite ways to spend holidays are on a cruise in the middle of somewhere far, far away. (-:

 

[soulseeker]

First of all, let's establish just what it is that the INFJ despises: arrogance, narcissism, rudeness and the general tendency to be mean or inconsiderate.

Personally, I have a brother who is self-centered, rude, stubborn, argumentative and 100% lacking in empathy. He has no tact; his brain is like a computer! It amazes me that we came from the same parents. Do you have any family members or any people you're "stuck with" who are exactly the opposite of what you'd hope for?

yes... all of the people around me

i don't think anyone is sensitive to others here (not here as in forum here... i mean here as in where i'm living), if they are, they want something in return

my mother is 65/35 .... 65% inconsiderate, super insensitive and 35% motherly love

my father is 95/5 95 rude, inconsiderate, insensitive, not supportive and 5% just okay!?!? (actually depends on his mood)

as for others around me, i don't seem to know even one person who really cares for someone (unless there's something they would have in return for being caring, compassionate, and all)

family members like cousins and aunts etc... my mother's side:85 percent are insensitive, haughty, arrogant, insensitive

father's side:65 percent are insensitive, etc...

 

[v.shadow]

hmm I don't know if they are the stereotype of what INFJs despise, but my whole family piss me off (my mom is hysterical all the time, my dad is the complete opposite because of his extreme laid-backness and my sister is a self-centered and superficial idiot who hates me to death). besides, they are all extroverts and think there's something wrong with my head.

 

[Billy]

Sensors. like my ESFJ brother who is a notorious emotional manipulator and ego maniac.

 

[Orion]

God, my family sucks as well.

Don't know what types they are- (Mum is ISFJ? She is a nurse, and that's said to be a common profession for them) but none of them understood me. My Dad is an emotionally stunted ass hole and one of my sisters I don't talk to.

 

[Fizzitster]

Your brother sounds similar to mine, however I live with two of them. One older than me and the other younger. The older is a ISTJ and the younger an ISTP.

You have given what sounds like the description of an ISTJ/ISTP. The average Joe male personality. They always have to be right about everything. It makes me want to do this -
But most of the time I do this -

The thing that strikes me about them Is that they always try to make you look and sound dumber than you really are.
However they don't realise that their facts came from theories and ideas that we 'N's' thought of and proved.

Although he definitely thinks his opinion is always right (just because it's his), I'm actually fairly certain he's ENTJ. My mom and I have this joke running that he's actually an F: he takes his theories so seriously that they ARE his feelings...

What I think makes my brother different is that he's not oblivious to the harm he causes. If he doesn't agree that you SHOULD be hurt, however, your feelings are irrelevant because they aren't "correct" - yes; he thinks there are such things as incorrect feelings.

 

[enfp can be shy]

Although he definitely thinks his opinion is always right (just because it's his), I'm actually fairly certain he's ENTJ.

"I tend to argue a lot and if I did enter an argument I have to win, I'll say whatever the hell comes into my head just to win the argument; I'm a great salesman."
@3:27

[YOUTUBE]xTUpy1IdZIE[/YOUTUBE]

Similar tendency applies to other NTs, and less so to STs, who can stay more objective in their arguments; therefore I sometimes think STs should be considered more rational than NTs.

 

[Norton]

Let's face it. Most people could do with at least some shrinkery.

 

[J. Cardigan]

"I tend to argue a lot and if I did enter an argument I have to win, I'll say whatever the hell comes into my head just to win the argument; I'm a great salesman."
@3:27

[YOUTUBE]xTUpy1IdZIE[/YOUTUBE]

Similar tendency applies to other NTs, and less so to STs, who can stay more objective in their arguments; therefore I sometimes think STs should be considered more rational than NTs.

He's right... he's not funny.

My mom does the same thing with arguing. Even if she's blatantly wrong, she'll keep going with whatever comes to her head. She starts to throw a temper-tantrum, though, and this is when I just let her have the victory because I just don't feel like dealing with her. I've called her out on acting like a child more than once.

Luckily she isn't nearly as annoying as that guy seems to be.

 

[Nela]

My mom is an I/ESFJ. I love her, and she tries her best, but she doesn't understand a thing about me. Even today, she's still the only person in the world who can truly 'break' me. My dad.. I get along with him as long as our relationship stays very superficial, and what's more important: no showing emotion from my side. Or not too much anyway. I'm always guarded talking to him. 90% of the time his insensitivity drives me up the wall.