family members who are everything the INFJ despises

[Fizzitster]

First of all, let's establish just what it is that the INFJ despises: arrogance, narcissism, rudeness and the general tendency to be mean or inconsiderate.

Personally, I have a brother who is self-centered, rude, stubborn, argumentative and 100% lacking in empathy. He has no tact; his brain is like a computer! It amazes me that we came from the same parents. Do you have any family members or any people you're "stuck with" who are exactly the opposite of what you'd hope for?

 

[RecklessDreamer]

My mother! She's just an overall mean person, especially to me of all her children. I'm not just saying that- she's literally told me that she doesn't like who I am, and I need to change myself.
She's an ESTJ, by the way.

 

[Entyqua]

All of them...every last one...My mother is the worst of them all, and I can sort of relate to my father...but I dont want to...

 

[Raccoon Love]

Same, all my family gives me problems, I'm sort of like the weird oddball who is always getting criticize because of my personality

 

[DevilDoll]

My mother (ENFP). She is a manipulative, self obsessed, cynical person. She constantly focuses on the negative aspects of everything. Oh, and when the attention shifts from her to someone else she does something overly dramatic so that she gets more negative attention. She feeds off of it. That, and putting down other people to make herself look better. I tried and tried and tried to get along with her, but eventually I had to cut contact all together. Our relationship was very unhealthy and she wasn't going to admit she was part of the problem and get help so I walked away.

 

[J. Cardigan]

My mom has tested ENTJ. She's pretty authoritarian and we definitely clashed when I was growing up. She's stated multiple times that she doesn't understand me.

Despite this, I love her and I know she'd kill someone if they tried to hurt her children. I'd do the same for her.

 

[Entyqua]

My mother (ENFP). She is a manipulative, self obsessed, cynical person. She constantly focuses on the negative aspects of everything. Oh, and when the attention shifts from her to someone else she does something overly dramatic so that she gets more negative attention. She feeds off of it. That, and putting down other people to make herself look better. I tried and tried and tried to get along with her, but eventually I had to cut contact all together. Our relationship was very unhealthy and she wasn't going to admit she was part of the problem and get help so I walked away.

do we have the same mom??? Mine is this...shes a martyr...always makes me feel bad about everything...

 

[DevilDoll]

do we have the same mom??? Mine is this...shes a martyr...always makes me feel bad about everything...

If we have the same mom, I feel sorry for you. I wouldn't wish that woman on my worst enemy.

 

[Entyqua]

If we have the same mom, I feel sorry for you. I wouldn't wish that woman on my worst enemy.

Nor would I... I feel for you...I really do...

 

[DevilDoll]

Nor would I... I feel for you...I really do...

And I for you, hun.

 

[RecklessDreamer]

If we have the same mom, I feel sorry for you. I wouldn't wish that woman on my worst enemy.

My mom is just how you described yours.
If they are the same, then- Congratulations, you've made it through hell and back.

 

[Entyqua]

My mom is just how you described yours.
If they are the same, then- Congratulations, you've made it through hell and back.

I wish I could say I was back...Im still very much there

 

[xizzax]

My mother (ENFP). She is a manipulative, self obsessed, cynical person. She constantly focuses on the negative aspects of everything. Oh, and when the attention shifts from her to someone else she does something overly dramatic so that she gets more negative attention. She feeds off of it. That, and putting down other people to make herself look better. I tried and tried and tried to get along with her, but eventually I had to cut contact all together. Our relationship was very unhealthy and she wasn't going to admit she was part of the problem and get help so I walked away.

Wow, i never knew ENFPs could get that bad...

I guess negative people are just negative people.

 

[RecklessDreamer]

I wish I could say I was back...Im still very much there

You're telling me. I still live with her.

 

[DevilDoll]

I wish I could say I was back...Im still very much there

You're telling me. I still live with her.

I am sorry, guys. I have not spoken to my mother since august. I have seen her twice and she didn't even bother to look at me. Now I live in a completely different state. So, I can say I am well on my way back.

 

[Entyqua]

I am sorry, guys. I have not spoken to my mother since august. I have seen her twice and she didn't even bother to look at me. Now I live in a completely different state. So, I can say I am well on my way back.

I want to move away, but well, thats just not possible right now... I commend you for doing it!

 

[DevilDoll]

I want to move away, but well, thats just not possible right now... I commend you for doing it!

I don't think I would call it commendable. I am still a codependent mess.

 

[J. Cardigan]

I am still a codependent mess.

We're all human here.

Moving is one of the best things I've ever done. My mom and I actually tolerate each other, now. It sounds like you guys have had a more miserable time with your mothers than I have, which had to have been horrific. I never want to live with my mom again.

 

[VH]

My mother! She's just an overall mean person, especially to me of all her children. I'm not just saying that- she's literally told me that she doesn't like who I am, and I need to change myself.
She's an ESTJ, by the way.

My mother is an ESTJ too. I have noticed a lot of INFJs have an ESTJ parent.

 

[Entyqua]

I don't think I would call it commendable. I am still a codependent mess.

Oh I would be too...but I commend you because I cant bring myself to hurt her...though she has hurt me more times than I care to count...

Dont take that the wrong way...If you hurt her, I dont commend that...just that you had the strength to save yourself further hurt where I dont.